What is an AUSSIE ? ? ? ?

[Rodgera]

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish
kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on
a Japanese TV.

Oh and...... Only in Australia can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.

Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries
and a DIET coke.

Only in Australia ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
to the counters.

Only in Australia ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Australia ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
to talk to in the first place.

Only in Australia ... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

and finally.........

In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
toilet.

[Doughboy]

So are you trying to say aussies are stoopid or sumfin??

Pete

[Rocker]

I test 9V batteries on my tongue regularly, and I am not dead yet; but then I am a pom as well as an Australian. Perhaps it is only dangerous if you go barefoot

Rocker

[echnidna]

In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
toilet.

Only 8 whiplash injuries in the loo. :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[mongrell]

if there was 700 ausies electrocuted becuase they stuck there fingers into a live light socket to see whether the power was on can you make that 701 please OOOOOOOOWWWWWCCCCCHHHHH

[Mirboo]

Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.

I think this would have originally been titled "Only in America", someone has just replaced America with Australia. You can't get prescriptions filled at the supermarket in Australia.

[Doughboy]

Walmart in the good ole US of A you can get a haircut, your vegies, a power tool, pushbikes, clothes, drugs and god knows I have forgoten something.. gotta love it

Pete

[Groggy]

Walmart in the good ole US of A you can get a haircut, your vegies, a power tool, pushbikes, clothes, drugs and god knows I have forgoten something.. gotta love it

Pete

Electronics, guns and ammunition, oh, and milk.

[coastie]

I think it's called cosmopolitan?:confused:

[Iain]

Remember the early 80's when hardware shops were not allowed to trade on Sundays but brothels were, so...................., you could get a screw but not a nail

[Daddles]

I'm getting rather sick of people taking American posts and trying to pretend they are Australian. Whether the original poster did that or not, if he'd taken the trouble to ####ING THINK (or worse still, actually read what he'd posted) he would have realised what he had.

Look Rodgera and others, it's not funny. It's just laziness, and stupid laziness at that. Get yer bloody act together and dream up kicks at us that are actually aimed at Australia.

Richard

[fxst]

mmmm meds wearing off Daddles?? try the pretty blue ones they make you so relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxed.........
but yep gotta agree with ya
Pete

[graemet]

I'm getting rather sick of people taking American posts and trying to pretend they are Australian.

Richard

Richard, you are a grumpy old bugger, but I'm with you 100% on this. If there is a clever tale about the seppos, it can be adapted/edited to relate to us BUT get the facts / names / spelling / dates / etc right or at least credible first.
Cheers
Graeme

[felixe]

I smelt a rat by the 3rd paragraph!:mad:
Load of cr@p.

[Iain]

Walmart are part owners of Safeway, does that help?