The Rip in the Fabric of the Universe ...

[Iain]

due to insufficient bracing promptly fell down again......

[Driver]

Witnessing this appalling collapse, Crabtree assumed command in the absence (or rather in the penguince) of Nemo.

"Good moaning, crow!" he said to the crew. "Ibvioosly the ironic stricture of that choor didn't wook so we'll meke a woodic one! Send for the Mooster Corpinter!"

(Is everybody keeping up with this - nobody misunderstanding the general gist? Good.)

[echnidna]

But the master carpenter was in the final stages of putting a secret rear entrance into Al's red plonk cupboard, so he called out .......

[Iain]

scrumpy

[craigb]

But that did him no good at all.

Of course he could have called out ERIC for all the difference it would have made.

Anyway, suddenly the carpenter exclaimed, "bloody hell, there's a Lion in this here wardrobe" Nervously he startted looking around for a witch. When suddenly... ,

[echnidna]

.........Al's hairy arm came into the cupboard and grabbed a...............

[echnidna]

..... foil witches hat .......

[craigb]

now now Bob, you can't reply to your own post. That's against the rules

[craigb]

.........Al's hairy arm came into the cupboard and grabbed a...............

botle of red, which he immediately offered up to ....

[Driver]

... Nemo the penguin - which was bloody cruel because the poor little waddling sod had no ability to pull the cork. His little floppy flippers waved around in a frustrated manner and he waddled off, completely shattered by the experience.

A foil clad head appeared ...

[craigb]

to be doing nothing at all.

Suddenly Kaboom ....

[Iain]

Nemo the penguin remembered that his deformed brother Memo had a threaded beak which would act just like a corkscrew, he beckoned him to the b ottle and insert his beak into the cork and twisted him, applied a little pressure and the cork popped out.
The problem now was that Memo couldn't breath as he had a bleeding cork stuck on his beak and Nemo was more concerned about finding a red wine glass rather than a champagne flue because....

[craigb]

champagne didn't agrree with him.

In fact, unless it was really expensive French stuff, he thought that it had more than a pasing resemblance to cats urine.

Meanwhile, poor old Memo was about to breathe his last when suddenly Staines appeared in the wardrobe.

"Bugger me" exclaimed Staines (and all the readers thought "well that'll be a first") "how did I get into this wardrobe, and why is this poor little critter about to breathe his last?"

"It's because he's got a cork on his beak you moron, quacked Nemo".

Just then ..

[ernknot]

feeling absolultley corked, Memo let go with a rip roaring frat and dislodged the cork. He mused about being corked and related that to the time he...........

[Iain]

realised that a frat was much more powerful than a fart............