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  1. 16th February 2007, 01:06 PM #16
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    havenoideaatall
    havenoideaatall is offline Built a workbench 101
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    There's nothing worse with actually being sick yet not so sick you can still sound quite coherent on the phone.

    You feel like a right fraud but know you're fair dinkum.

    I'm always a bit unsure about the level of medical detail that I should supply. "Well it all started Friday night..." You almost feel you owe them a good explanation.
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  2. 16th February 2007, 01:21 PM #17
    Lignum
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    Then theirs the classic oldie thats repeated often but i first heard 30 years ago with the then legendary Melb DJ - Rick Melbourne. He used to ring a boss live on air and pretend he was the friend of the worker who was running late.


    This particular day he told the boss that his employee was running late because he was going to get a hair cut. The boss said he had no right to get a hair cut on company time. Rick Melbourne then said his friend reckons that if it grows on company time he could have it cut on company time, to which the boss (becomming very aggitated) said his hair didnt all grow on company time and the reply was "he isnt getting it all cut"
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  3. 16th February 2007, 01:25 PM #18
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    Gra is offline Member for stupid ideas
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    at a previous job we had one girl call in at 10 and say she wasn't coming in, she had slept in.

    We waited for the rest of the excuse, but there wasn't any?? What scared me, was the boss didn't sack her. ???
    I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

    My Other Toys
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  4. 16th February 2007, 07:42 PM #19
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    Ooorrrrrrrrahhhhh mate bad chicken last night....
    ....................................................................
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  5. 16th February 2007, 09:43 PM #20
    ss_11000
    ss_11000 is offline You've got to risk it to get the biscuit
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    thanx pete for that story...kinda wish i didnt read it but oh well, you get that.

    i've never gotten out of work...so i got no excuses
    S T I R L O
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  6. 16th February 2007, 10:35 PM #21
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    At Aust Post I've heard some REALLY good ones, but the best was from a female postie. She rang me at 05:55 (06:00 start time) & stated she couldn't come in to work as "my hair hurts!"

    She was also the author of the famous excuse "I can't go out on the road today, my bellybutton is infected"

    Safe to say she didn't last too long in the job
    Cheers

    Major Panic
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  7. 16th February 2007, 10:41 PM #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by silentC View Post
    My best excuse was falling down a cliff in the Blue Mountains on Sunday around lunchtime and having to be choppered out that night. Didn't make it to work the next day...
    SOOK!!! You big girls blouse!!
    Bit of iodine, a band aid & a couple of Aspro & you would of been fine..... SOOK!!!
    Cheers

    Major Panic
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  8. 16th February 2007, 10:43 PM #23
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    l rang up the boss and said l have got a bit off man trouble
    always worked for the chicks
    smile and the world will smile with you
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  9. 17th February 2007, 02:58 AM #24
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    Boss? That chiropractor you recommended? He's a fraud...
    I may be weird, but I'm saving up to become eccentric.

    - Andy Mc
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  10. 17th February 2007, 10:56 AM #25
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    Gra. maybe the boss was sacking her thats why he didnt finish her employment.
    Tony
    I would love to grow my own food, but I can not find bacon seeds
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  11. 17th February 2007, 11:14 AM #26
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    I once told the boss to his face that he was an a$$$hole and he can go f*** himself, and that I wouldn't be going to work until I felt like it. The boss was cool with that, and even kept paying me!!!!

    Guess that's one of the benefits of being self-employed.
    There was a young boy called Wyatt
    Who was awfully quiet
    And then one day
    He faded away
    Because he overused White

    Floorsanding in Canberra and Albury.....
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  12. 17th February 2007, 12:55 PM #27
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    Told the boss one day that I couldn't come into work because he hadn't cleaned all the blood off the sawbench yet. Of course it was my blood from when I almost cut my thumb in half the day before.

    For the record the boss was the old man and I was still living at home at the time.
    Have a nice day - Cheers
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  13. 19th February 2007, 12:35 PM #28
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    I had a job where I had to check and approve (or not) sick leave applications.
    The best excuse I ever saw was 'Existential angst'.
    Naturally...I approved it.
    The next best was 'Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome'
    W-K syndrome is advanced alcoholic deterioration of the brain (AKA 'wet brain syndrome')
    I approved that one too.
    I rang in to say I had fallen off my motorcycle and sprained my wrist..."Nothing serious,be OK in a couple of days."
    An hour later...you guessed it,fell off my motorcycle and fractured my wrist.Off work for two weeks and didn't have enough sick leave to cover it.
    There's a boat inside me trying to get out.
    Was it something I ate?
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  14. 19th February 2007, 12:36 PM #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by havenoideaatall View Post
    There's nothing worse with actually being sick yet not so sick you can still sound quite coherent on the phone.

    You feel like a right fraud but know you're fair dinkum.

    I'm always a bit unsure about the level of medical detail that I should supply. "Well it all started Friday night..." You almost feel you owe them a good explanation.
    Going off sick and then returning to work with sunburn.
    There's a boat inside me trying to get out.
    Was it something I ate?
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  15. 19th February 2007, 07:47 PM #30
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    The best one I heard (NOT an excuse of mine though!!!) was....

    "I have to go to the doctors because I got smashed last night and when I woke up, my bum was bleeding"

    What can you really say to that?
    Cheers,
    Clinton

    "Use your third eye" - Watson

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