Will I know the answers by 60?

Below are listed some mysteries of life that I don't understand. Perhaps I will know the answers by the time I am 60??

1) Why does washing need to be done only on a Saturday even when the last 3 Saturdays have been raining?

2) Why do work shirts need to be ironed even when they are only worn around the yard for doing mowing etc?

3) Why does a TV have to be run on the lowest possible sound level when us old bu&^%ers admit to having hearing loss?

4) Why is verandah decking and outdoor furniture not allowed to be oiled? Is natural patina that important?

5) How is it possible to cut back a hedge to half its size and leave it with as much coverage as you started with?

6) Why can't you use a bathroom for 2 hours after it has been cleaned and a toilet for big jobs for 5 hours?

If you know the answers to any of the above, I acknowledge with respect the experience in life that you have had.

Carry Pine

Carry, don't ask for an answer on all these questions, life is to short, so enjoy life, make fun. :U

Women are the cause of all problems.

Solutions can't be found

Just as we can't understand the big bang, with women, you've just got to make the best of it and try to live with imponderables.

Greg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Carry Pine

Below are listed some mysteries of life that I don't understand. Perhaps I will know the answers by the time I am 60??

1) Why does washing need to be done only on a Saturday even when the last 3 Saturdays have been raining?
Who washes on a Saturday.

2) Why do work shirts need to be ironed even when they are only worn around the yard for doing mowing etc?
What! Some one still has an iron.

3) Why does a TV have to be run on the lowest possible sound level when us old bu&^%ers admit to having hearing loss?
I get the controller. I set the sound level even when others cringe against the back wall.

4) Why is verandah decking and outdoor furniture not allowed to be oiled? Is natural patina that important?
I am too lazy to oil it.

5) How is it possible to cut back a hedge to half its size and leave it with as much coverage as you started with?
Who cuts a hedge. Let it be natural. See point 4.

6) Why can't you use a bathroom for 2 hours after it has been cleaned and a toilet for big jobs for 5 hours?
Who said. If you gotta go the go.

If you know the answers to any of the above, I acknowledge with respect the experience in life that you have had.

Carry Pine

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:U
edit : Forgot to add. Damn I am past 60......

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Greg Ward

Women are the cause of all problems.

Solutions can't be found

Just as we can't understand the big bang, with women, you've just got to make the best of it and try to live with imponderables.

Greg

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Please note that I did not mention gender anywhere!

CP

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Greg Ward

Women are the cause of all problems.

Solutions can't be found

Just as we can't understand the big bang, with women, you've just got to make the best of it and try to live with imponderables.

Greg

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Dear Oh dear Greg.:no:

Bad day at the office?

Gender has nothing to do with problem solving or problem generation.

It's a simple fact that the female of the species, in all species causes problems:

Spiders. The females in some types kill and eat their partners

Grasshoppers. They eat the heads off the male during sex

Dogs. No fights at the park unless you get two females there at one time (dogs that is)

Humans. Check Carry's concerns. No more needs to be said

Ants. You have the whole nest catering to one queen

Bees: as above


I could go on and on, but we are trying to solve monumental problems here for Carry and I just think that focus is needed on where the problems originate

Greg

Oh! well!! If its important.......

But I think you are distracted from the main issues. There seems to be a problem of timing. Maybe a extra pair of undies would mean that washing could be done on Sunday. Thats one problem solved.:D

You see Ms Tea Lady, if it weren't for females, the problem wouldn't exist..... for if there were no females, we wouldn't need undies

Greg

From what I have seen, by 70 you'll have the life experience to find all the answers.

Unfortunately, by then you'll have forgotten the questions! :doh:

.... and make new friends every day ;-}

Here are one or two possible answers

Washing is traditionally done on monday, this i think had somthing to do bathing traditionaly done on sunday when the boiler was lit.

ironing work clothes, because our anglcan ethics says all workers must be clean and tidy or they must be bad workers. even if its the overworked 19th century housewife who had to do the ironing.

oiling deck, maybe past experience of last time you did it, (sticky dusty mess)

re bathroom because cleaning it is a hated chore and its nice to savour the sparkling cleaness for at least two hours.

Astrid:U

PS I do none of the above, if HWMNBO needs an ironed shirt, he can iron it himself

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Greg Ward

You see Ms Tea Lady, if it weren't for females, the problem wouldn't exist..... for if there were no females, we wouldn't need undies

Greg

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I don't know about that. The tools might get tangled. :D

I suggest a book Ëverything a Man wants to know about a woman"

I think the cold breeze assists here; but we'll never know as we'll never have the chance to test your theory; there are just so many females on the planet....
In fact in Australia they outnumber males....but not in this forum.

Noting the superabundance of males in the forum, I think some of computer dating services could be shortly making a bid for the start up of a lonly hearts thread section, which will allow females entry into men's shed all over.
That will be interesting
Regards
Greg

I thought the blokes disappeared into the shed to get away from the wimin.:D
I do feel like I am an invader sometimes. too bad.:p
I just find this thread has a bit more humour that the general run-o-the-mill knitting threads around the place, even though I do that too.(Knit I mean)

dunno about that Tealady,
I'll take yer word fer it,
I don't frequent knitting forums

yes, the males on this forum vastly outweigh the females,
just as in any group there are fewer leaders than followers.
we all have valuable contributions and with luck and goodwill, learn from one another.
I love chewing the fat with most of the guys (male and female) here.
and light hearted digs here and there are taken in good jest.

when we ask to turn the background pink ( with nice little flowery bits)
then you can worry.

Astrid

And no you can't borrow my flowery screwdriver!!!:((


And even I have knowledge. Who else knew about walking stick cabbages for instance?

Tea lady be careful.

I haven't even mentioned:

* Using my marples chisels to tidy up grouting in the laundry

* Somehow tying scout knots in every extension cord that ever leaves the garage

* Wanting (demanding) to speak at the most inoportune times (even during glue-ups)

CP

Aha!

Ive got it,
Your talking about your kids!
Re the glue up problem, ask them to hold the bloo dy clamps in place while their talking

Try them using your chisels for tent pegs:oo:
Astrid:U

Quote:

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Originally Posted by astrid

Aha!

Ive got it,
Your talking about your kids!
Re the glue up problem, ask them to hold the bloo dy clamps in place while their talking

Try them using your chisels for tent pegs:oo:
Astrid:U

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See Greg!! It weren't the wimin's fault. :;

Yeah sure....

If we didn't have wimmin, we wouldn't have the problem with kids either and there would be no juvenile delinquents, no problems with graffiti and Carry would have a very calm and peaceful life.

I mean it's the wimmin that makes the kids innit?

Greg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Greg Ward

Yeah sure....

If we didn't have wimmin, we wouldn't have the problem with kids either and there would be no juvenile delinquents, no problems with graffiti and Carry would have a very calm and peaceful life.

I mean it's the wimmin that makes the kids innit?

Greg

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Ummmm! :? Yeah Greg!

World would soon be nice and peaceful, that's for sure!!

And what about the mystery person at my house who will probably be the next heavyweight champion of the world. This person turns off the cold tap in the laundry and I use all my strength with both hands to turn it on again. I know it can't be SWMBO because she's a female... but who can it be?

Carry Pine

Maybe the one who dosent know how to change a washer?
Or the water authority fairy.
And of course without wimmin you wouldnt need to turn the tap on or off because there would be no drought.:U

Astrid

Any male associated with wimmen knows about droughts........

Droughts are caused by wimmen .......as well as every other problem


Greg

And we all know that wimmin caused
global warming (hairdryers you know)
WW 1 and 2 (Eva braun wanted to live in an english cottege with roses over the porch)
Sliced white bread ( got sick of baking it themselves)

The list just goes on and on!!
Someone should do somthing about them quick or theyll ban woodworking on sunday:oo:

Astrid:o

Quote:

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Originally Posted by astrid

Someone should do somthing about them quick or theyll ban woodworking on sunday:oo:

Astrid:o

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Already banned on weekends!

"People need to relax, not listen to you making a mess."

Carry Pine

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Greg Ward

Any male associated with wimmen knows about droughts........

Droughts are caused by wimmen .......as well as every other problem


Greg

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I think every one should be put right on this point. The drought was caused by my husband who always falls asleep in the shower. Now we have off peek hot water it takes ages for it to run out. In our old house you had to be quick washing hair or still have shampoo in your hair and only cold water.

All other problems I'm sure I could pin on him somehow. Then the rest of us can be guilt free.:D

Saturday (washing day according to the scriptures) coming up. Already clouding over and predicted thunderstorms.....ah well!

One glimmer of hope for MANkind - Purchased 4 lengths of heavily painted wall panelling (Kauri pine 25mm thick) at the dump for $1 a piece. Cut it up to make a coffee table top identical to the one purchased for a fortune in the other room. Put the paint stripper on and started cleaning it up BUT then stopped and thought- perhaps rubbing it completely back to the beautiful timber will not be appreciated. So i stopped right there.
Sought professional advice and was told 'yes, leave some of that paint there (probably lead based and babies will chew it in years to come - ed.) but I think you have rubbed it back too much already.

But I did stop- yes there's hope.

Carry Pine