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I'm collecting the tricks that are played on apprentices (or that's how it happenned in my day).
Examples:
Go to the store and get a long weight (wait)
Go to the store and get a new bubble for my spirit level
If you guys can add to these I would be forever in your debt, grateful, appreciative of your time and indescribably happy.
Never having used this forum before I dont know how to sign off but I'm sure someone will tell me.
Like read the instructions.
Ray
Go wash my car :)
(car dealership) - 'Its starting to rain go get the yard tarp'
(mechanic) - cut some old tools up then empty the apprentic's tool box, and fill it with cement and while wet stick some of the tool ends into the cement. They can chip away for hours to get their tools out (they are really in a draw)
(mechanic) - attach a grease nipple to the lool box and fill with grease - when opened it will spill out.
(general) - send out for:
sky hooks,
striped paint,
left handed screwdriver.
go get me a rounding square..........
(dairy farm) get the bull to fill a milk bottle
(telecommunications)
1:
cable tie the apprentice to the lift
2:
cable tie the apprentice to a chair and shock his ear lobes with 50V DC
(telecommunications rigging)
take a 100m x16mm dia poly rope up the channel 9 tower without a winch (through the ladder system instead)
metal workers: Get me a box of sparks
:p
cheers
Chia
If the new guy wasn't able to figure out how to wrap the furniture in the available sized paper wrapping material, he was told to go ask the forman for the paper stretcher.:D
Go get the verbal agreement forms
Not as silly as it sounds because when I first started work many years ago in a bank we had a form entitled " Verbal agreement form".Quote:
Go get the verbal agreement forms
It was used by the manager to record details of the overdraft he had verbally agreed to.
Peter.
Can of airscrew pitch
Tube of glim (torch)
left handed screw driver
Wait on the roof of the old Herald building for the helicopter mail
This is a "pet" subject of mine. Started with a book "Rare Trades" by Mark Thomson. Mark is an Aussi and has other titles to his credit:
Blokes & Sheds
Stories from the shed
Meat, Metal & Fire - Australian Barbecue Culture
His home site is http://www.ibys.org/
I reviewed the book on http://www.thepiers.net/pn/displayarticle33.html
and
http://www.woodcentral.com/books/thomson.shtml
Mark discusses "tricks" and shows pics of a box for each of
Population Tool
Spirit Level Bubbles
Spark Plug Sparks and
Polka dot Paint.
I picked up on the idea to motivate kids in my classes to make a container.
I started the unit of work sending kids for the above (not the population tool) plus:
Globe for a gas lamp
Spot weld Spots
Left handed screwdriver.
They were all sucked in and went to other teachers in the school for the items. Responses were remarkable. I had to send other kids for the kids waiting for the weight, The art teacher sent the kids back to tell me that he wouldn't give me polka dot paint until I returned the tartan paint I had borrowed. The english teacher told the kids the screwdriver was in the tin with the offset bolts. What colour spots?
Most amazingly the science lab assistant came back with the kids, appologetic and asked for a catalogue number for gas lamp globe.
I explained the term "wild goose chase" and encouraged the kids to think up 2003 items. They came up with:
Film for a digital camera
spare disk space
Propellor pitch
One kid must have got this from his dad,
Knacker Lacker (adds lustre to your cluster). Made a container from a piece of copper tube.
The kids hooked in and made some nice containers from wood, tinplate, copper colorbond.
Glenn
I thought everyone knew that it was:
Max Factor Knacker Lacquer
Adds a lustre to your cluster.
On a related but probably irrelevant (to the origins of this thread) subject, it is apparently true that several years ago, Birds Eye developed a new product in the UK. The product consisted of small, bite-size chunks of cod, deep-frozen and ready to cook. All their marketing people were very excited about the new idea and worked up an entire marketing plan with fully-realised press and TV ads, a zippy slogan and catchy jingle: the full unrestrained media campaign - complete with bells and whistles.
It wasn't until they showed the TV ads to the managing director that the campaign stalled. This wise and experienced man carefully explained to the marketing team that Cod Pieces wasn't a good brand name.
(Free tin of Max Factor Knacker Lacquer to the first BB member who knows why . . . )
Col
Thanks guys. This will give me a good start.
Ray
Used to make gal rainwater tanks. Once got the apprentice to climb inside to hold a dolly while the lid was dressed over (not necessary but he didn't know that). Only way out was when the hole was cut for the strainer.
Another one was when putting in rivets, one would hold the rivet in place with a dolly and the other would put a washer over the end and dress it down. You'd say to the person holding the dolly, who had to put the rivet in place and tell you when ready, "when you nod your head, I'll hit it". When they nod their head, you give them a clout (not with the hammer).
In the joinery I worked in, they used to glue or staple the apprentice's toolbox to his bench.
Computer related:
Switch the keyboard and mouse cables on the young bloke's PC with the PC at the desk next to him. Watch him trying to get the mouse to move and the keyboard to unlock and finally give up and reboot, only to see the screen next to him (which probably has some unsaved work) go black.
Tie a knot in the mouse cable and then change the start up security message to something like "Windows cannot start due to a problem with your mouse. Possible cause is a knot in the cable, please untie the knot and restart".
Yeah, I know, never a dull moment....
:(
I ruefully remember being sent to the coolroom for frozen lettuces as a young cook in my first job... But the best one I've ever heard was from Redfern mail exchange when a young girl was sent down to the office at circular quay on April 1st to get some more 'Lane One Forms'. Not fazed the staff at circular quay sent her on a ferry ride to Manly.
the aprentices revenge.
rubbed up the wrong way by a certain #$%&@ tradesman.
on that tradesmans next RDO
A felow aprentice went to coles on his smoko & came back via the canteen collecting two very large telecom issue type teapots full of boiling water.
emptied several packets of jelly crystals into said teapots & stured.
sealed with tape then filled said tradesmans drawer with very strong jelly solution.
next day......
one of the waitresses at a local restaurant was sent across the street to another restaurant to get a bucket of steam from their kitchen..............
The Poms should have known better..... for those that dont know a cod piece is the padded fitting that a gentleman used to wear outside his trews, strapped to the crotch. Black Adder did a great line of laughs on the sizes of some of these.Quote:
[i]It wasn't until they showed the TV ads to the managing director that the campaign stalled. This wise and experienced man carefully explained to the marketing team that Cod Pieces wasn't a good brand name.
(Free tin of Max Factor Knacker Lacquer to the first BB member who knows why . . . )
Col [/B]
Anyway, result, the appropriate bits are now called your 'cods'
I'm ex Air force and in one shop we lined the seargents drawer with plastic, added gravel, weeds water
and a goldfish!!!
Another guy went on leave so we drilled out the rivets on his locker, layed it on its back and filled it with packing material (either foam beads or vermiculite), replaced the rivets and put it back. I dont think he ever worke out how we did that one....
Another guy, his boots REEEEAAALLLLY Stank! When he went on leave he left them beside his locker rather than in it. a couple of four inch nails per boot (woode floor) and then about a litre of plaster of paris in each GP and wait.
Part of my time was working at the Police Dog section and we had a young air cadet arrive,turn into the front path and stop. We watched the penny drop and he started back teh way he had come. The section is way out the back of the base and it would have been a two mile round trip. In summer! Called him back and asked what was going on to find out he had been sent all round the base by a particularly nasty sod of a seargent, one section after another looking for a cleaning agent called "K9P". We got one of those yellow topped specimen bottles, filled it with lemon cordial essense and gave him a lift back tot he section.
While he was on route, rang a mate in hte section he had started from and told him what was going on. He told me later what happened. He contrived to be with the seargent when this kid got back and passed over the bottle. Seargent looks, asks what it is and is told K9P. Worried now, he asks where it came from. Dog section. The look of instant revulsion apparently changed one of "how the F did they do that?" What topped it all off and set the mongrel running for the dunny whas when mick opened the bottle, took a sniff and a sip and said yepo thats what it was alright.
Ever nailed a 50 cent piece to the footpath with a stainless nail?
Back in the days when you got paid in a Commonwealth Bank envelope, some guys working on a multi storey building in Sydney, used to add some cut up paper and a few washers, and drop one onto George Street. Interesting how one bloke kicked it around the corner before picking it up and doing a runner.
Gag stopped when a very pregnant woman climbed the 6 flights of stairs to return it to the foreman's office
Rob
Your free tin of MFKL can be collected at your leisure - drop round any time ;)
I reckon the worst stunt we ever pulled when I was a sprog engineer back in England - many moons ago(!) - was one Christmas when we nailed a kipper to the underside of the chief draughtsman's desk late on Christmas Eve. The offices were then closed until January the 2nd. Because it was mid-winter, the central heating was left on through the week's break and the resultant pong when we all returned was wondrous to behold!
The chief draughstman wasn't blessed with a sense of humour and, although he couldn't prove that our small group of trainees had done the dirty deed, he sent us off to the general manager's office to be suitably admonished. This might have been a good idea except for the fact that the GM did have a sense of humour and - in the middle of administering the required bollocking - he start to chuckle. We all wound up laughing ourselves silly in the GM's office. He then swore us to secrecy and sent us back to work.
Happy days!
Col
used to hook the negative lead from the TIG welder to the metal stool leg, when an arc was struck the current would run through the chair and into the operator....high freq low votage was attention getter but mostly harmless....
also would weld coins to a plate of steel and heat up the plate good and toasty and watch the lame brains try to pick up the coins....
In high school shop class I held the oxy-acetylene hoses between my feet under the table as the instructor tried to show how to set the torch up, I would squeeze the hoses and release them .....the instructor never did figure out why the torch wouldn't hold a steady flame....
Used to be a telecommuniations rigger. one of the team leaders was ex air force and used to wear his old GP boots instead of saftey caps. we got off that he kept lying to the boss and getting way with this (we used to climb in dunlop volleys but the boss jacked up one day...) so we spray painted his boots,tools, toolbox and saftey helmet bright and shiny silver. the next day we had to work on a construction site didnt we ??? needless to say "YMCA" was heard all over the site in his presence - he soon got some new boots by the way. After all this we explained to the boss what had happened - he just laughed and realised that it was actually safer to climb in flexible soles (volleys) than in rigid capped boots!!!
An electrolytic capacitor stuffed in the end of a 240v extension cord and left under some poor sod's chair. Wait until he's sat down & deep into his work, plug the cord into a GPO across the room and flick the switch on.
The capacitor explodes with a very loud bang and paints the legs of their jeans with bits of aluminium and the nasty yellow contents.
Probably seriously toxic and definitely not a good idea - but it was funny as hell at the time - 20 years ago now :)
Used to fold the leads down each side and then charge the old electo cap up to 375 Volts. Toss it to some one and watch them catch it... in more ways than one. ouch....
Also was in the RAAF and we would stretch glad wrap across the dunny bowl and lower the seat in the Officers dunny.
I later got my commission and this was not bloody amusing!
A new lab technician was asked to go down to the store and get a packet of fallopian tubes
Had a friend who worked at a company called Smith Brothers in Silvertown East London. The company processed the bits the abbatoirs didn't want and these bits used to arrive in large bins. Yep you guessed it, friend was thrown in bin which is basically a soup and it took about six weeks of hard scrubbing to remove the smell.
HH
When I was an apprentice pattermaker they had couple that used to get all the apprentices.
No. 1
As any one that has used shellac would know that methyelated spirits is used to dissolve shellac.
The trick was that you would get the apprentice to stick a large funnel in his belt in front of his stomach and get him to tip his head back and put a penny (pre decimal currency) on his forehead and then tip the penny into the funnel. You would be allowed to have a couple of attempts at it and while everyone was standing around so as to distract the apprentice while and on his third attempt while he had his head tipped back some one would tip half a bottle of methyelated spirits down the funnel.
Man did that make him jump when the metho hit his unlacquered knackers.
No 2
Back then we had 2 lathes that operated off an overhead shaft with flat pulley belts and what they would do is cut a thin strip of timber about 3mm x 25mm x 900mm and slip it behind the pulley belt while you where away from the lathe.
When you came back and turned the lathe on it would pull the strip of timber down around the pulley and it would go off like a packet of tom thumb crackers and frighten the life out of you.
Although I am a bit late this is my contribution to this thread.
Go and get a set of pistons for a 12b rotary engine....
or
a raidiator for a Volswagon Beetle
When I was an apprentice (Motor Mechanic) my boss sent me to the nearest Repco (12 miles away) by train to get a bottle of sparks.
I hopped on the train, went to Melbourne, watched 2 films and returned to Chelsea. Went to the local Holden Dealer, got a jar and filled it with the swarf from under the grinder, put masking tape around the jar and labelled it "just add heat".
Needless to say I was never sent on a fools errand again.
We had a mechanic at one dealership that I worked at who was the most obnoxious, know it all mongrel bastard that I have ever met. The workshop foreman hated him, 22 mechanics hated him, the sales staff hated him and the women in the office loathed him. Not a well liked person at all.
We welded his tool box to the bench, filled it with grease and even suspended it from the rafters by cotton. He still wouldn't quit.
He was a pom of the worst sort. I think his mother paid his fare here to get rid of him. He turned up in a suit and changed at work. He wore proper hobnail boots with the steel horseshoe on the heels.
In the workshop we all had our own bench with a steel grate in front. I was doing some repairs on my bench which was next to his.
He is standing motionless working on a gear box and the urge (plus the urging from all and sundry) was too great. I arc welded his boots to the grate. The workshop foreman then called out to him and he bloody near broke his legs when he went to turn round. I am glad he was "hobbled" because I think he would have killed me had he caught me.
He arrived back at work as if nothing had happened and told us it would take more than that to scare him off.
Another plan needed.
He owned this beautiful, immaculate Automatic Zephyr MK3 (this was the 70's). His pride and joy. Now it is an unwritten law that no matter how much you hate someone you don't do wilful damage to thier vehicle. At least it used to be, times are a changin'.
He got in it that night to go home, got out the gate, 50' up the road and it died. Restarted, same again. All the mechanics are watching and trying not to laugh. Restarted, same again. He storms back, gets some tools and asks one of us to go with him to look at what the problem might be. First time he had asked any one to help.
Checks spark and fuel. All OK, Starts it up, revs it, turns it off and closes the bonnet. Restarts, 50' up the road it stops again. He glares back and if looks could kill and words could hurt, I wouldn't be here to annoy you now.
He storms back, cleans out his locker and his tools.
In a hiss " Right, you little antagonistic little (expletive deleted). What the &*^K have you done to my car?"
Says I, who is very brave with 20 other mechanics behind me,"What makes you think I had any thing to do with it?"
"Because you are the only p**** sneaky and underhanded enough to pull a stunt like this"
"Well," I reply. "I will make a deal, you quit and I will tell you."
"You bastards have all won, I quit, now have you done to my car?"
"I wired you ignition through your brake lights. I notice when you start it up you put your left foot on the brake, while it stayed there you had ignition. Release it and you switch it off. When you got Andy (the othe mechanic) to help you, he knew and kept his foot on the brake so that you had ignition."
"You are all *****", he bellowed and left.
I have not seen him from that day to this but I still get a warm fuzzy feeling thinking about it.
Sorry about the length.
Here's a pic from a book Rare Trades by Mark Thomson - great read
While working on a house in the country I went to get my nail bag out of the back of my ute. Lifted the bag and some "bustard" had coiled a dead brown snake under it. Frightened the bejesus out of me and was an occasion of much mirth to the roof tilers that were laying out the cement roof tiles. Lunch time came so said snake was recoiled under a stack of tiles on the roof.
Tilers came back and started work. It is scary to see an adult roof tiler jump off a roof with about 8 cement tiles in his hands. Luckily noone was hurt but this story was repeated in the pubs for a long time afterwards.
Bob
This was not a trick performs ON apprentices, but BY the apprentices..
When I was doing my time as a painting apprentice in the "good old days of the S.E.C.V", I had a Foreman who used to like to sit in his raised office and survey his domain (our workshop) he took great delight in telling us how we were to conduct ourselves in and out of work.
He also enjoyed sitting watching us and eating his morning brew (which was kept in the bottom draw of his desk.)
One day someone found a feral kitten ( many of which populated the works area ) and managed to place it into the foremans bottom desk draw.
Come the appointed brew time we all watched anxiously as he opened his draw to retrieve his food. as soon as the kitten had sufficient space to fly out of, it clawed its way up his arm and around the office.
For us it certianly was a spectical to behold, fur, blood, and food spinning all over the place.
No one ever owned up, and the foreman for some reason started eating down in the workshop with the rest of the workers!..
I've been racking my brains but I can't remember anything I've done to an apprentice. Mind you there's very few people putting appentices on in the building trade nowadays. So here's a few that were done to fellow tradesmen:
Smeared no more gaps around the inside of the plasterer's hard hat. We didn't have to wear them inside the finished areas. He walked around for half the day with a white stripe on his forehead wondering why people were laughing. (He wasn't real sharp).
I spent about ten months working on an island resort development, commuting every day, six days a week, very long days. Towards the end of the job my mate and I (we were sharing a house) went stir crazy. Used to pass one of the painters on the road every morning and like us he was more asleep than awake. One morning my mate got in the back of the ute and we flew past the painter and slowed down in front of him. My mate stood up in the back of the ute and dropped his dacks :eek: while I turned the rear spot lights on and hit the air horns. When we got on the boat that morning the painter had a real good laugh and told us we were mad b@st@rds. :D
Just before the job finished I grabbed a 9 litre water filled fire extinguisher out of my shed. One of the plasterers would wait at the side of the road for the painter to turn up and give him a lift. We rolled up at 5am and called him over and then gave him a wake up squirt in the head :eek: :D . We told him to get the painter to open his window when we drove next to him. So we went down the road and waited. When the painter drove past we caught up and got next to him (dual carriage way) and motioned for him to wind down his window. When he did so he copped a wake up shower also :eek: :D . He was ropeable! By the time we got on the boat however he was laughing and he reckoned we were truly mad. To tell the truth after ten months of ridiculously long hours we were a bit unhinged.
That afternoon we chased one of the other chippies to his car with the extinguisher. My mate was hanging out the window with the extinguisher while I was driving across the barriers around the car park and over the gutter. My mate jumped out and the two of them ran round and round the other blokes car. My mate ended up on top of the other car (an ex ambulance) squirting the guy while he was trying to unlock the door. He only just got off the top in time. Meanwhile I sat in my ute splitting my sides in laughter. A few of the other blokes were still around and one was taking photos. We caught up with the poor bloke at the next set of lights and managed to unload the last of the water in through his wndow before he managed to wind it up. I had sore ribs for a few days from all the laughing. After that it was official, we were "those mad b@stards".
On our last day on the island we knocked off at lunch time and went down to the beach, still in our work gear, boots and all. We had with us an esky full of ice, a bottle each of tequila and triple sec, limes, salt, a 30M power lead and a blender. Went down to the beach hire hut (the resort was still operational) and plugged into their power, got an umbrella and a couple of lounge chairs and drank margaritas till it was time to go home :D . When we got to the boat we plugged the blender in again and continued with our party :D It was a great cathartic release, :) the stuff of legends. :)
Mick the mad b@stard.
Not played on an apprentice, but in the same vein:
In the early 70's I worked in an office on the top floor of one of Brisbanes taller buildings (about 16 levels).
One of the guys I worked with pulled this stunt on April Fool's Day.
He arrived early, before the morning peak with a few props, and rode the lift to the top floor (our office). At 8.25 the busiest time, he called the lift, splattered mince and liver over it's walls, and placed a pair of shoes facing the door, half filled with water, and a small piece of dry ice in each, before sending it back to the Ground Level.
Apparently when the lift arrived at the ground floor, the doors opened to reveal the smoking boots and bits of exploded passenger everywhere, the desired effect was achieved.
Same guy used to take the brown paper bag his lunch was wrapped in, wet it and work it into a kind of sausage shape, pointed at both ends. This would be left in the back corner of the lift in an attempt to ensure that there was an express lift available at knock off time.
Cheers,
P
Quote:
Originally Posted by bitingmidge
BM I always thought that your northerner's were a heat effected bunch!
Kev :cool: :rolleyes: :p
As an apprentice, I had a smart @rse tradesman that was always trying to get me. One day he asked me to get him an open ended ring spanner.(he was pretty stupid also, there is such a thing, plumbers and pipe fitters use them.)
He was mildly suprised when I came back with one, but he was absolutely pi##ed when he found that I had taken one of his good ring spannners and just grinded part of the end out of it.
That was about the last time he had a crack at me.
My father also tells me he once sent and apprentice to get some short circuits. The bloke at REPCO twigged what was going on straight away and handed the apprentice a piece of fuse wire about 2 foot long and told him they had no short circuits left, but to just cut this one down to the size it was needed.
"the doors opened to reveal the smoking boots and bits of exploded passenger everywhere"
I wish I'd thought of that one
Oh what a pity it is now called harrassment. :(