Calling Derek Cohen

Mate Ive been thinking... yeah its usually VERY worrying even for me :B... But anyways... Im getting rid of the damned 15in thicknesser after too many furious arguments and discussions with the thing Ive finally had enough... and have just burnt the small one out :roll:

sooooo mate... I was thinking... you know... you know this darksider stuff you keep yarnin about?? :o

see I was thinkin maybe I should just start to learn that stuff and give these flamin machines the flick whadda yer reckon? good bad or otherwise idea?

I mean I could buy some right good darksider gear with the selling of the thicknesser sooooo??

I think Ive seen the light! was bound to happen I guess since Im about as usefull with motors and machinery stuff as a ten titted bullock is to a day old calf... can operate the sodding things but fix them? not a chance in hell... so Im prepared to consider the darkside of woodworking

ahem and she reckons it could be safer for me :no:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wild Dingo

I mean I could buy some right good darksider gear with the selling of the thicknesser sooooo??

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You may be in for a shock...3-4 good planes, or 7-8 recons and a lot of work. Then there's the sharpening....

sorry mate ....but I cant resist any longer :q ...when a machine doesnt work properly ....READ THE MANUAL.......when in doubt ......READ THE MANUAL.....when an attack of the utter irrits occurs, have a coffee and READ THE MANUAL.........

when above all else fails, give the manual to the wife to read to you:U

You can read a manual 10,000 times, but once a machine dumps it's guts on the floor the manual's absolutely bloody useless. Won't even soak up the oil properly, just sorta smears it around... :rolleyes:

I said I downloaded... printed... and read the silly thing!! :doh: tried too many times to count had young Ben over to have a go had another go then gave it a rest yesty and back into it again today... thought I had it resolved... but then it did it again... I tried another tack... worked for half a length then didnt... I then threw the screwdriver at the neighbors cat chucked the peice of Jarrah at the train as it passed screamed bloody blue murder that sent Joshy runnin for the house faster than superman ever flew chewed fumed coughed spat... then sat and cogitated the damned evil thing sitting there sooooo bloody smug

Decided to have some tucker and ignore the thing for a bit so up to the house found Joshy quivering in the living room got him up and together we made lunch shared a laugh neighbor came over had an argument then a fight all over his poor bloody cat with the blue handled phillips set screwdriver it was carryin around in its date thanked him for returning it wrenched the screwdriver out of said date cat bolted for god knows where squeelin like a demented chook on steroids neighbor got cranky started to arguin I shut the door smiled at Joshy he smiled at me the neighbor ranted outside for a few minute last seen runnin up the hill after his precious puddytat...

I went back to said shed faced up to the evil buzzard squattin there between the innocent jointer and silent table saw starin its benevolent snarl at me... I sat down RE-READ the damned manual... dragged the tool box over to the thing... swore again... ripped the damned top of and swore again grabbed the manual read again looked read looked tossed the bloody useless manual into the scrap bin with the other flotsam and snarled while I sat back down to ponder my next step

Neighbor came to the fence heard the swearing something about "my poor babywabby" sounds of thumping on the side of the seatainer... "THATS FRIGGIN IT!!!" I screamed as I tore me shirt of grabbed the nearest lump of 4x4 (nicely turned peice of Tuart if I do say so meself) raced out the door around the side of the shed to the seatainer tore around the back between his place and mine yellin "WHAT THE BLOODY HELLS YOUR FRIGGIN PROBLEM YER DOPEY WOMBAT!!" at the top of me voice

neighbor was last seen racing his funny runnin pussy tat up the hill squeelin like a stuck pig... looked at the side of the seatainer to assertain the thumping noise...mmm not bad I thought as I looked at the neat but running spodges of lovely pink paint that he'd thown at it in his "vengence"... funny bloke name of Bwuthy... I mean what sorta parent gives their kid a name like Bwuthy?? strewth eh?

Anyway... came back in found and re-read the damned manual again walked over to the evil buggar snarled at it it snarled back I ROARED at it it whimpered... gawd I love it when I play tuff :; I tried it again... worked for a few feet on a board then same bloody issue again... stopped moving the bloody board through just burnin the damned thing force the timber through and out toss it out the paddock fumed spat cussed came inside

Typed up the forsale add in here and walked away... walked out there looked at it it snarled "go on try again buster Ive got your bloody number smartass woodbutcher bloke"... I sat and silently glared... "come on!! you know youve gotta do all them other lengths come on have a go yer dipstick"... I smiled... "Whats wrong with you!! come on you know you gotta specially now youve burnt out the small one your gonna have to have another go!!" I shook me head

Walked back to the house typed in this thread beseaching the master of the darkside to talk to me... listening to the mongrel cussin out there in the shed... I walked back out... its ranting about now "COME ON!! TRY ME!!! COME ON YER MONGREL HUMAN!! BETCHA CANT FIX ME UP!!" yarda yarda

I stood at the door smiled as I slowly lowered it... "Nah... cat be bothered Im sellin yer!" closed the door and locked up for the day

I WIN!! :2tsup:

Well Derek hasnt spoken to me yet so maybe I havent... oooohhh gawd maybe I loose?????? aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!! :o :C

Then I realized that this may be borderlining the ol drivel thingymabob that some have issues with here but thought buggar it after a day like mine I deserve at least this much with me mates :q

did ya try wax on the bed to help it slide? might workas it worked on mine:2tsup: or does it have roller on the table and their too low? (mine dosent)

edit : just read ya for sale post and see that ya dont need wax sorry.:B but still check ya bottom rollers for hight:cool:

So whats wrong with the thicknesser now?(other than being orange)

Huh !!!!
I know what you're on about Ding. I took possession of my new Ute last Friday (my old one lasted 22 years) and because I know machinery has changed a bit (I didn't say improved), I thought I'd do the right thing and read the destructions. Hell, Mate - 174 bluddy pages, in book one of three.
So what's wrong with winding windows up or down, and who the hell needs five (that's 5) cup holders in a Ute? No joke Mate, there's so many dust collecters in the new one I doubt it'll ever be cleaned.

:fineprint: soth

WD....all I can say mate, is you have a God given talent for writting a ripper of a yarn, you should write a book ...it would compensate for the hard time recieved by that "orange box ".....:2tsup: ....

manof,

Don't encourage him. Ubeaut has already had to get a new server to accommodate the archives of Dingo's posts:)

Rocker

C'mon Dingo... what's wrong with the bst'd. Sounds like the feed rollers are shot or gummed up, or the table is gunked -up. There's nothing high tech about a thicknesser. If this one is a dud, you need a better one. Don't go getting seduced by planes et al. They's for fine finishing, not blood & guts dressing/gauging....

OK, I just caught up with your earlier post - but still, you might have a crook machine.... but the entire race of thicknessers aren't all bad. Manufacturer?

I have to say Dingo, this problem of yours is causing my mind to wander ....I must admit I have had no use of a thicknesser myself, but I am tech minded ...and I have been a pondering...a lot .......you say it stops half way and burns the piece your working on....so a question...does it burn both sides?.......as unfamiliar with them as I am, its not hard to figure that the rollers are independant of the blade settup and if I am correct, then perhaps one of the rollers stopped ......or maybe both did ...if that is the case I would look at what drives the rollers ? chain? or pulley and belt?...if they are slipping....the work could pause half way and cause burning....its either that assuming that they are clean......or an obstruction .....something small like the head of a screw....maybe have a look inside the beast with a torch ......and take off the cover and check to see if there is too much slack in either chain or pulley settup.....I am thinking its probably a pulley settup ....and a simple adjustment is needed to stop the belt from slipping under duress.....I could be wrong .....and way off track .....but stranger things have happened .:?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by manoftalent

you say it stops half way and burns the piece your working on....

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Another possibility - does your timber have a taper? You know, is it getting thicker as it progresses. Like me. :oo:

Congratulations Wild Dingo on considering the Darkside.

Mate, those machines are much more faster, much more noisier, much more dustier and at best they can almost do the job of handtools - properly tuned and sharpened handtools used properly. You can make mistakes far quicker on the machines too.

I have bought some electron burners recently and they will certainly earn their keep but I will continue to have the pleasure of using my handtools.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wood Borer

Congratulations Wild Dingo on considering the Darkside.

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Shoosh! :smack:

Darksiders don't put much food on my table (yourself excluded, Mr Borer......sir :B)


Stay with the electron burners, Shane........stay with the electron burners. :)

"...... I could be wrong ..... but stranger things have happened .:?"

Wow!!!
OK Mano, I'm stirring not being sarcastic.

soth:2tsup: <!-- / message -->

:2tsup: masoth.I just looked at Major Panic's tut on setting up a thicknesser, its quite involved isn't it .....learned heaps today tvm :2tsup:

Shane my mate!

My apologies, I have only just seen this thread, and heard your cry. Should I welcome you into the light? Or should that be the dark?

I tell you what, come and visit for a beer (or coffee) and a play in the workshop - I should be free on Sunday. Let me know via PM.

Regards

Derek

Come on Dingo, been readin' about the BLOO-- Thicknesser, which really is a "thinesser" an know what your trouble is with out blinken'my eye mate.....
YOUR JUST PUSHING WOOD UP HILL........YOUR NOT ON THE LEVEL!!!!!!!!

You've scared the crap out of the cat, terrified all the passengers on the train, not to mention using Superman's assistant poor Robin........to offen....

Heard of scrap metal.....??
Tried reading lessons...??
Perhaps TNT...??
You've definitely got the irrits with this machine.....got it insured....could always say when it was running away from you it got hit by the train....LOL

Well good to hear your still attempting to do some woodwork.....not that much wood seems to be getting put through that machine....Hope your keeping all this writing material........out back dunnies would be queued up for miles........( actually sitting here with small glass of Dramburie LMAO at you, needed to smile again, thanks mate)

Hey made a couple of nice screen's last week & have two more cut ready to put together, let me know of any country fairs that are good if you hear of any, going to try that with some of my gear....Keep in touch...regards to all the crew....Kerry alias KEKEMO

Why oh bloody why must people insist on reminding someone of such things as errant thicknessers? :doh:

Okay... brand?... sigh.. sherwood yes ex Timbecon bought along with a mess of other gear when I didnt consider the extra travel time and distance worth it to go to Carbetex... learned my lesson well :roll:

Sooo whats the do with it?... well after posting the thread about selling it I reconsidered gave the now seriously munched manged chewed and spat on manual to her bloody highness who didnt lower herself to putting one dainty finger upon the thing "PRINT OF ANOTHER ONE YOU BLOODY DRONGO!" so I did... meekly I opened up the files and printed a new copy off just for her

A few days later I has cause to invite her highness out to the shed for ulterior motives... she saw the glaring snarling thing and so I asked her if she wanted to have a whirl at telling me how to fix it... she in her self righteousness smiled shrugged and simply said "you sort it" and wouldnt comment or look at the thing further :C

Later I found that she had decided that if I could wait a few weeks she would allow me to take it to someone like PMTS in Bunbury to see if they would have a go at sorting it... so Im bein good and waiting patiently... well not really cause Im not much of a patient sorta fella but the best I can :2tsup:

So whats up with it?... right the rollers on the bed wont stay at the right height for a starter no matter how tight I turn those pathetic small grub things down they refuse and drop below the surface (both infeed and outfeed rollers on the table) Ive been trying to figure out what bloody size they are and what their threads relate to in screws so I can just go buy a couple of PROPErR screws and toss the pathetic bloody gubby things bloody useless in my book... especially in a location like these are... so that is number 1

Number two I cant for the life of me figure out which bloody screws on the top to tighten or loosen as per what I think I understood me ol mate Harry was saying I was meant to do depending on the timber hardness Im trying to work... So far Ive screwed the big headed flat head screws but to no avail... Ive tried both upppp and dooowwwn and everything in between nothing makes a single difference the bloody rollers still drop...

It appears to me that there is too much pressure being exerted from above ie: the cutter side of things... as you look under and up at the head of the machine you have this row of wheel like things with little bits cut out sorta like a spoked wheel but not... that are all independant of each other and seem to ride along the top of the wood then behind that you have a heavy steel roller with some winding cuts in it which I take to be the pull through roller and then you have the cutter head itself... I get phissed of about then cause my neck starts to ache so Im not altogether sure of whats on the other side of the cutter head but figure probably another windy roller thing to outfeed it... anyways seems to me that as I put the wood to it the first set of independant thingys do zero then the second (windy cut) roller takes hold and pulls the timber through... but see I think that one is too damned low as more often than not there are deep cuts in the timber before the cutter head bites...

But see it sorta works at present... in so far as long as I stop everything after the fourth length through or the first sign of trouble and reset the bottom rollers and go again very slowly... very very touchy feely stuff this is!! :~

Funny thing is when it does grab and do its thing properly its bloody brilliant I mean swhooooooosh a couple of throws threw and its done... so quick even on the slow gear... which I decided to use with the old hard Jarrah and the large peices of Kapur Im presently using for the work bench... these will probably be the hardest woods I will throw at it but its seriously struggling to meet the challenge... just hope I dont buggar anything up motor or head wise before I get the thing finished :no:

Anyways no worries eh?! its all good... Im still interested in what would be the basic 3 or 4 hand planes one should have as Im thinking of getting a couple anyways.

Good to hear from you Kerry :2tsup:

Your a mighty man Gungadin!
Keep toiling away at it....you will get there with that attitude, sooner or later.....your the best dog with bone attitude I have ever come across....
I've just come up from the shed, cut out another two screens, doing two each time slight variation to the patten each time, will soon have a nice collect to hit the fair's with.........
Now, must away thinking its time so a nice drinkie again....call in soon...actually you had better PM me with your address calling pass that way in a few weeks....might need a cuppa.
your sawdusty mate........KEKEMO........alias Kerry

Hi there Kerry no worries will do... but do give us a hoi before you set out for here! Im often up up and away to docs surgeons and such nonsence and Jos rarely ever in one spot long enough to know what shes doing... so a quick call and she'll be right :2tsup:

hahha, good rave Dingo man, so is it a problem with the roller pressure whilst feeding the wood in?

I am certainly not a wizz with the machines but i have sometimes it helps to take step back and try and identify what the actual problem is ;-)

often sit pretty simple, just wear and tear and adjustment type issues, like tightening the rollers, finding out is they worn a bit, woodgunk in the mechanism ? not enough pressure in the right place...

machines are inanimate, they do very little unless u make em or not, when they dont do what they are meant to its often cos they need some attention in a certain area...whataya reckon ;-)