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You swipe er borrow some pencils from the kids.
Place them on the work bench.
Do some work and reach for a pencil.
They are all gone.
Nobody has been near the workshop but the pencils can not be found.
Do pencils :
-- Transfom in to some other entity?
-- Slip into another dimension?
-- Evolve into a higher life form?
-- Dematerialize?
Where do they go?????????????
They are used by the one sock from each pair that goes missing in the wash.
Scientists that study the place the socks go (the sockosphere) speculate that the workshop pencils may act as a tool to allow the socks to overcome the initial momentum requirments needed to enter the sockosphere, much like a mini pole used by a pole vaulter. (...mmmmmm..... tatiana)
Don’t they get used for paint stirrers, and then when the paint dries they no longer fit into the sharpener, so they get flung across the garage never to be seen again? Or is that just me?
You sure the lead in your pencil didnt go soft and just soak into your workbench??:D
The high carbon content of the "lead", in its typical long, thin configuration acts as an electrical conductor, and creates a distinct polarisation between the two ends.
This is susceptible to activation by alternating application of static electricity (as produced by rubbing, buffing, sanding, polishing etc. motions) and EMF (output by typical electric motors).
The triggering seems to be caused by causing the activated pencil to rotate across lines of a low-strength large-size magnetic field (supplied courtesy of the Earth). A pencil is typically used in a predominantly upright position, then rotated 90 degrees to be laid down in a horizontal orientation. This is enough to initiate a gradual release of the accumulated stressors, causing a gradual phase shift into the aforementioned sockoverse.
The "pole-vaulter" theory, whilst lauded in it's day, is now widely regarded as somewhat simplistic. The new theory explains why pencils stored upright (eg: in pockets, or pencil holders) don't seem to vanish with anything like the frequency of pencils laid down on a bench.
Cheers,
Andrew
I usually find its not just the pencils, anytime I go to the shed to find something I can never find it without a good search. If im not needing it it can be found quite easily!
Then again it could be that my shed is messy and unorganised or a case of the C-Nile virus.
I suspect SWMBO goes into my workshop when I am at work and "tidies up" or puts things away "in a safe place".
It doesn't explain the missing pencils when I am in the shed though. The C-Nile virus might also have some influence. Does it affect people under 50 yrs old (not IQ).
- Wood Borer
They're in my pencil box, mate!
with that many pencils scattered around the shed you'd be bound to find one of them!
C-Nile virus can affect any age I think Wood Borer :p
All you ever wanted to know about pencils is on the Pencil Pages http://www.pencilpages.com/
and in the book "The Pencil" by Henry Petroski
... except where they disappear to.
I thought it was only me.
I buy the 12 packs of pencils from the supermarket and have half a dozen or so at each machine in the shop plus a couple of hundred scattered around.
Still can't find one when I need one.
The place is full of socks though.
For me the answer is simple, I cannot find my pencils so I go out and buy a pack, take one out and put the rest in the drawer next to the ones I couldn't find.
Next week, repeat scenario.....
Now what about the bloody knife I can't find to sharpen the missing pencils......
All you pencil losers need to start wearing nail bags or sawyers aprons with a pencil pocket!
Mick
WAT!!!!!!!!!!!! and lose a nailbag too??
I am sure you must all be a bunch of T shirt wearers.
thats what pockets are for.
how are people suposed to know that you are a wood geek without a square pencil fixed about your body.
Propper wood geeks should not be seen with a square pencil behind the ear as you might be mistaken for a fruiterer on his day off.
Actually I find that if I put them in my pockets or socks (another favourite pencil stash in a few workshops I've worked in) I lose them, or at least they end up on the laundry floor. Even in the workshop I've just got to have my nailbag on, I'm just lost without it, I keep a pretty good selection of gear in it. When I was foreman in a big cabinet shop a few years ago the apprentices (there were ten of them) were forever losing and then pinching pencils from each other. I used to swing by the casino or one of the clubs everytime I was in town and go to the lounge area. They had pencils there for the Keno and I'd swipe a few handfuls of them to hand out back at work. So if your a chronic pencil loser top up your supply the cheap way. The pencils are only little stubby ones but you'll lose it before you wear it out anyway!
Mick
All the missing pencils end up in polling booths at election time so that you can write the digits 1 - 310 on the Senate ballot paper. It is a well known fact that electoral officers spend the 6 months prior to an election raiding workshops to steal pencils.
The answer is ---- steal them back at the next election. Enrolling as an elector in all 6 States and both Territories ensures that you will have 9 opportunities, at least, in every 4 year period to replenish your supply.
As to missing socks --- if you always buy the same brand and colour then you won't notice.
and your own jet to get around to all the states :rolleyes:
Its not only pencils, its anything I'm trying to use. The more recently I used it the less chance of finding it. Thats why its handy that body parts are permanently attached.
My theory of missing parts (pencils, screws, nuts misc. items).
They are taken into another dimension by interdensional gremlins. These gremlins hang about just waiting for someone to drop a screw or other vital small part and then whip it into their demension to use for what ever nefarious purpose.
When they are finished with they will usually return it ti its original place of drop. This however can take any length of time since, as Einstein said tiem is relative. So they may have had said part for eons but return it in seconds in our time.
How many times have you dropped a part, heard/saw it fall, watched it come to rest on the floor then turned away for a second to put down whatever you were doing, go to retrieve the missing part, never to see it again. Or you will search in all directions because you "know" it fell there but cant find it.
Only for said part to turn up after you have given up looking and gone to get a replacement.
Thats the gremlins for you. Beware of them.
Nah the pencils are coated in chameleon paint so that they blend in with whatever you place them on (and then have to buy more, a plot by the pencil makers ) this is why when you have bought another pencil the original one feels safe stops trying to blend in, you look down and there on the bench in plane view is that pencil that wasn't there 5 minutes ago.:rolleyes:
This thread was started 3 years ago, please do not bring up threads from this old, it messes up the forums, stick with threads within the past month,Quote:
Originally Posted by pedro the swift
Joash
There's only one thing worse than losing pencils: being the type of person who doesn't.
I'm a proud pencil, wallet, sunglasses and keys loser, come to think of it, I'm an all round loser. But I'd rather be a loser than one of those pedantic, retentive, slow, over-fussy dodderers who never lose anything. You know the ones, when you bump your head on some low overhang or something, they knowingly say: "You should have ducked".
Like Principal Skinner on the Simpsons. He'd never lose a pencil.
I'd say Joash doesn't lose pencils either. :rolleyes:
Otherwise he'd understand that this is the sort of thread that is timeless... and just as relevant today as 'twas three or a hundred years ago. Hell, it'll still be relevant a century or two from now, so long as you substitute "digital laser stylus" or "pointy stick" for the word "pencil." (Depending on which way you believe the future is heading. ;))
Havn't you heard of the Borrowers, a family of tiny people, just a few inches high, who live under the floorboards, they exist by "borrowing" scraps and oddments from the house above. I reckon that they are responsible for most of the things that we cant find, or that are misplaced. :D
Glad I went and washed the car and had a beer , you said it much better that I would have. :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Skew ChiDAMN!!
Since this thread has been pulled through the transdimensional time and space inhibitors I will add the definitive word on the subject.. A lot of the comments on this thread have been accurate to a point and some have just been totally absurd..the mere thought that they have been placed in an area that you did not investigate thoroughly enough (Iain, July 2003) is a blatant and preposterous argument to say the least and the idea they have suffered the fate of being used as a paint stirrer (Ashore, Oct 2006) or similar then disposed of is plainly ludicrous ..
The one thing no one on this thread has talked about is the fact that pencils are a living entity.. most people choose to ignore this as no one really wishes to acknowledge that they are responible for the enslavement of intelligent life forms, even those organisations that ostensibly claim to protect these creatures such as the R.S.P.C.A, W,W,F and others choose to ignore the plight of what is arguably the most intelligent form of life known to man.. the fact that they are smarter than us may be the cause of this..
Tell me where you think pencils come from.... I assume you will be telling me that they are made from dead trees and strange forms of carbon.. How deluded you are and yet you know not..
Pencils can be found in the wild in most areas of the world. Why haven't you seen them. It is predominantly due to our predatory ways they are now so afraid of humans they have become adept at hiding from us.
Pencils are captured (although large stationary corporations have had secret captive breeding programs operating since the 1600's so no longer harvest from the wild). The pencils are captured at a time of metamorphosis when their outer shell hardens. At this point they are immersed in chemicals that slow down the process of change. They then suffer the indignity of being embossed with company logos and other markings then sold.
Some pencils have developed a resistance to this chemical compound whilst others are left lying about for too long and so are able to continue with their process of change... at some stage during this natural process they slip into a different dimension or parallel world to continue their lives unhindered by Humans. It is my theory however some feel the need to chastise us for what they view as the horrendous attacks on their kith and kin. Endless sharpening leave a number quite stunted not to mention those who are broken and tossed aside. It is these conscientious pencils that continue to seek retribution for the suffering of their fellows. some work to restore those newer ones to health before they can be abused while others distract us as per the gremlin & borrower myth's. At times they have become quite vicious, there was a species that lived underground who when defending their territory became known as The Tommy Knockers.
I have discovered some unique isotopic signatures in individual pencils which has allowed me to track certain pencils and can show not only the moments they blink out of our realm and also when they blink back. It is around these latter events that I have discovered the absence of other items in the vicinity.
So it is clearly not merely some conglomeration of chance scientific happenings that pencils disappear but a clearly defined natural process that is hindered by humans. There are some who have been trying to find out the mechanism of transfer to this other dimension and as indicated some believe socks have something to do with it. It is my theory though as of yet unproved that it is the pencils that are responsible for the lost socks not the other way around as proposed by my fellow researchers.
His Self Appointed excellency Penne Sille.
Founder of the pencil rights and liberation movement
Then they may well have mated with a chameleon in the wild :rolleyes: more food for thought , how else can they dissapear and then re appear in the same spot .....HummmmQuote:
Originally Posted by thetassiebfg
Did you look in your socks?:D
Missing pencils? Easy. Stolen and disintegrated by the same gremlins who tie thumb knots in hoses and electrical cords. How do you tie a thumb knot in a hose without passing an end through the loop? Impossible for humans but can be done.
Carry Pine
Tried to solve the sock problem.
Threw out all of my socks and bought new ones.
Same brand. All the same colour (Black)
Now if some one can explain why there are odd socks in my draw.:confused:
Some black but different pattern to the rest.:confused:
Some NOT black.:confused:
I made the stupid mistake of drilling a hole in the stub end of a pencil and attaching a 3' loop of bright yellow string. Tucked behind my ear, the string got in the way... looped over my neck, the pencil got in the way. So, I left it on the bench. It should be easier to find, with so much bright yellow string hanging off it, right? Wrong... by the next week-end it had disappeared. Never to be seen again.
Working on the principle that it'd been knocked off by an envious fellow woodie, I made another prototype, incorporating some minor improvements. I wasn't going to "wear" it this time, so I attached my trusty old square to the other end of the string. Now, I know that any time I pick up my square, there'll be a pencil handy. :)
So, if any of you come across a well-loved Marples Rosewood square with double brass facings and attached to a pencil by a length of bright yellow string... please tell it to come home. It's sorely missed and it's younger brother, Stanley, is just as useless as it ever was. :(
my wife usually finds my pencils, unfortunately by that time they've been through the heavy duty wash and spin dry so most of them are broken:(
Quite! I may have been a little more, ahem! forthcoming :eek: :D :D :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Ashore
After a very ordinary day at work, i looked at this thread for unknown reasons and am very glad that I did, haven't had a laugh this good for a while so thank you to all those pencil deprived woodies out there.
I have actually got a solution for you all. I have a pencil that is 6 foot long and has a diametre of 10 inches. I usually find it easier to leave the pencil on the bench and move my timber along the point to mark out my lines. Never lost the pencil yet. If only I didn't keep losing the timber, it all seems to just lose all molecular structure somehow and ends up in little piles on the floor........
Maintaining the pencil in a sharp condition can be troublesome though. Last time I had to sharpen it I smashed a flouro tube swinging the axe. I could tell you a story about that axe, had it for years, still the same as the day I bought it, only replaced the handle three times and the head twice.......
Glad someone did revive this thread, just because something has a little age does not mean that it is no longer valuable or relevant. Something that some self appointed neat freaks seem to have lost sight of perhaps.........
I get my revenge on the kids with pencils and the like. In particular, the Idiot Child has provided me with many pencils, a stick of gum (for sticking the sandpaper to the spindle, and sandpaper to hold-down jigs), two pencil sharpeners, a calculator (that was a big coup!), those modern, coloured plastic drawing pins (to stick skethces and plans up whilst measuring out), a cork board, a document folder with the plastic sleeves (for storing machine manuals and the relevant reciepts for warranty) and a dressmakers tape to measure bandsaw blades.
I look on innocently when she accuses Thuggo (her brother) of these thefts.
Its the first taste of revenge before beginning some serious SKIING (Spending the Kids Inheritance)
Another possibility is that they go sightseeing. Going to places of significant and important pencil related places and exhibits.
(These photos came from a link posted herea couple of years ago)
I love the second pic... it shows quite clearly that pencils have been going walkabouts for a loooong time. :D
(I'll bet that carpenter was ... back then pencils would've been worth quite a bit more than they are now. :eek: )
The pencils go to the same place as paperclips. Paperclips metamorphise into wire coathanges and clearly the pencils change into the wooden ones that infest my wardrobe.
See, it is simple.:confused:
Have you checked behind your ears (for the pencils)?