Shanes dillema

Shane was ripping some timber for the top of a chest, and whilst his body was there, his mind was defintly on something else. He pushed the timber over the blade as per usual, but instead of turning the saw off and removing the timber from the rear, he (without thinking) simply picked the board up and pulled it back towards himself. It was then that it slipped from his fingers and landed square atop of the saw blade that was still running at full speed.

The board caught the blade and shot like a bullet back towards his old fella and the family jewels. This quickly snapped his mind back to the here and now.

With that he .....

ran inside the house and immediately filled out an application for the postion of counter tenor in the Mackay Symphony Orchestra which had been advertised the day before..

But through the tears of frustration he couldn't count a tenner or a fiver for that matter, but could only find the high notes whereupon.......

he broke into a rousing rendition of "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose its Flavour on the Bedpost Overnight" and landed the post of head Soprano in the new series of the same name.

This of course really off Tony Soprano who until then was the real head Soprano. "Dat Ossie pretender aint got the balls to be a real Soprano." he said and with that he .....

.....sent an e-mail to his mate Knuckles(where are you?) in Oz asking him to sort out this cheeky young up-start.
Unfortunately....

[This message has been edited by John Hambly (edited 03 November 2001).]

Knuckles was on assignment by the Donn, but the upstart finally realised the error of his ways in trying to upstage Tony Soprano,when an advertising executive aware of this new found voice contracted him to sing the merits of Bundy Rum in Tv Ads much to the delight.........

bringing a son into the world who was stupid enough to wack himself in the nuts with a lump of wood.

However as luck would have it .........

he was thinking about his mates wife at the time and the critical plumbing had moved to..

..beloved jewellry warts and all back into the sling especially made for him by the insurance company in recognising all that was at risk by a bundy addict who...

really didn't have a clue what was going on or why but thought he would just have .....

---sip of his beloved Bundy.
What he didn't know, however was that some nasty person ,or persons unknown had...

...hairy armpit to ripen whilst assisting said bundy addict to reach an even higher note much to the dismay...

of the vicar from the bandsaw story who heard Shanes amazingly high C and came over all weak at the knees, instantly dropped cookie lite a bag of spuds and ren to Shane crying ......

..the high C notes as well as their other body attributes,to which Shane cried out in disbelief I'm not.....

... here so this must be a dream.

BUT THEN...

he remembered the pride and joy of all queenslanders; the Jerrimandar. you rememeber the jerrimandar ? "jerrimander figaro, magnificooo-o-o, beazlbub has got a devil put aside for meeeeee, for meeee, forrrr MEEEEEEEEE!!!!

< insert lead break here :D >

Then he made a peanut sandwich and was about to take a bite when ...............