The Code of Practice

There have been occasional mentions in these forums on the subject of the Code of Practice. What Code of Practice? I hear some of you say.

The Code of Practice, I reply. The Code of Practice as it concerns blokes, sheds and tools - and what blokes do with tools in sheds.

The thing is, most of us know what's in the Code of Practice but I doubt that any of us have ever seen it written down. Besides, even if some of our illustrious members feel they may have seen a written version, it's my guess that the thing needs updating, right?

And we are the right people to do the updating. Furthermore, can anyone imagine a more appropriate place for the Code to be debated, discussed and drafted? Of course not. This is the only place for such a momentously important codex to be composed.

So, let's get into it.

What we need is for the giant intellects that gather on these forums to bend their imaginations to the task and to contribute thoughts on what needs to be included.

Might I suggest, as a starting point, that the following issues need to be aired (and I know well that many of them have been covered in previous forum threads and discussions but there's no harm in repeating and/or amending them herein):-

- The shed - definitons, characteristics, type and size, degree of luxurious fit-out etc., exclusivity of occupation (ie, how to keep the sheilas, kids, pets and nosy buggers out), relative tidiness or lack thereof etc.

- Tools - is it possible to have too many; what to do when there's not enough space; when does a collection become A Collection, what the hell is wrong with having seven routers and eight cordless drills anyway?

- Standing and staring and/or leaning and staring, usefulness thereof and differing techniques.

OK, that's merely a start. The idea is to discuss what needs to go into the Code of Practice and thereby, hopefully, begin to shape a version for blokes to use as a handy reference.

Whaddaya reckon?

Col
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Like the idea, Col.

Shed must have a couple of different chairs, for sitting & solving the worlds problems. Must have a radio for distraction when needed. Fridge is good if space permits.

Messy & dirty is fine, keeps the missus out.

For those of us with little kids, must have a small toolbox for 'em & a scraps bin for project materials.

Some form of heating makes it more bearable & inviting in this winter weather.

Decoration? Old number plates, tin signs, tool stickers, charts & info.


Cheers....................Sean

Shed must contain something from a previous generation & hopefully no knowledge of what it does

Two or more of any type of item on a bench or shelf is a collection, or the start thereof. This includes any broken tools, bits of lawnmowers, old blocks of wood and oddly shaped antique doodads that have no readily apparent use.

Any item on the floor is to be considered a fitting and should be worked around and over, but never, ever, moved except when being put to it's original purpose. When finished using, it is not to be put back in its' original place, instead it should be left into the closest free area whereupon it is once again to be considered a fitting. This also includes any broken tools, lawnmowers, obscure blocks of wood and oddly shaped antique doodads that have no readily apparent use.

There should only be one stool or chair in the shed; that's all you need to ponder the whichness of the why... your mates' will quite happily perch on a bench or convenient wood pile to finish their brew. Any more seats practically guarantees an audience of the fairer sex.

A space reserved for that special machine you haven't bought yet but hope one day to own.

A screaming pillow so that you can express your frustration without having the missus come and investigate.

Cobwebs

If you have heaps of cobwebs it shows the shed is healthy (supports life forms apart from bacteria, mould and termites)

If you can see the cobwebs (heaps of airborne dust particles) then your lungs are also collecting this muck and you need a dust collector. The better way is to use handtools for the exercise, superior work and keeps the dust down.

They help keep the blowie population down in Summer.

7. Works In Progress
7a. At any given point in time there shall be no less than 3 works in progress.
7b. If at any point in time there is any likelihood of the number of works in progress dropping below this threshold owing to the impending completion of one of said works, all work is to stop and the thinking position (par 3b) shall be assumed for no less than 15 minutes whilst a new work in progress is decided upon. This work must then be commenced, at least to the point of material being selected and sized, before work on any of the other works in progress may be resumed. It is not acceptable to return to the original work in progress until at least 3 more weekends have been consumed by other activities.
7c.There must be at least one major work (at least 100 man hours; or at least $100 worth of materials; or at least one expensive single use tool purchased solely for the construction of) which remains a work in progress until the day you are carried from the shed with pennies on your eyes.

Rule #1. Do not for any reason convert your shed into a bar /pool room... it is bad shed ediquite, build a bar room onto your house instead!(your shed will help you build it...)

A sign on the door that says "if you hear machinary running do NOT tap me on the shoulder"

old chlorine buckets around the place for off cuts and garbage. each machine should have its own bin, handles are optional. excess buckets should be used for wood storage or makeshift shelving...

a 30m power lead whos job is to sit on a nail.

Whatever shed you have, guaranteed it is never going to be big enough. Get used to the idea:cool:

Sheds and tools are not for sharing with S/HWMBO's unless, of course, you both use the shed and contents for the same purpose (rare but does happen)

Cheers
Wendy

a shed needs lots of appropriate places to store things - there should be a dedicated place for everything, but everything still seems to go in an odd collection of buckets, ice cream containers, tin cans, old lunch boxes, plastic bags etc left on the bench or a couple of shelves rather than in the place allocated to it.

Rule number 1. There is no such thing as junk. Throwing a broken Hills hoist gearbox to the dump is not an option. It may one day be needed!

Local rules shall apply, and no discussion will be entered into! Such things as: tools being used for tasks other than that which they were intended (ie. old chisel for opening paint tins); radio station tuning changes according day; choice of bevvie (ie. beer in summer, plonk in winter); latest position for safety glasses; and the use of wood bench for metal work and vice versa will be solely at the discretion of shed owner.

Good thread!!:D :rolleyes:

A half rotten mouse sleeping in an ear muff.

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Originally Posted by bookend

A screaming pillow so that you can express your frustration without having the missus come and investigate.

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A screaming pillow :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Oh NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

If I'm going to yell "F**K" cause I just hit my thumb with a hammer, I don't want some nancy pillow to stop the sound. Make the shed soundproof if you have kids with sensitive ears (this means less than 5 year olds cause once they get to school they'll teach you some new words). This also helps with heating.

But no pillows - Pillows are for holding bearings in a shed!

The shed is the domain of the owner/s and they can set whatever code of practice they choose. In my shed if i have power tools running then I excpect my visitors to don the PPE as well. My grandfather had a spare of everything in his shed. My grandmother thought he may have had a spare wife down there. i do know where i get my hording addiction from though.

Great thread!! And I might say very good timing! If we can get this up and running I will make a nice sign with the code of practice on it to hang in some spare obscure bare patch of wall in the shed

The bench should never be cleaned but should always be covered with something screws offcuts tools gobs of paint glue and such

The floor shall never be swept the 2ft thick mat of sawdust offcuts nails and screws are seen to be charector building and should only be cleaned off to a depth of 1ft only upon loss of child wife or other venturous personage who should know better than to venture into said shed

All sheds should contain at least one fridge for cold storage of beverages for visiting shed connisoors and wood butchers

One stool only... buggar visitors they got bums sit on a log bench floor whatever its MY shed... GET OVER IT

The shed will ALWAYS be too small... GET OVER IT

There will NEVER be enough tools... GET OVER IT

Wendy will NEVER get me to wear that red leather outfit... MOVE ON!!

ooh oops wrong thread :o

ahem... where was I? damn lost the thread of thought or was that chain of thought? red leather of thought? DAMN YOU WOMAN!!! :eek: :p

It does NOT have to be a regular round thing with a bulls eye. (Pic of MIL or Ex work just as good)

Must be mounted in a suitable safe place somewhere within 6ft of a bin.

Should have a back board big enough to accommodate your throwing skills.

Used for snapped drill bits, stripped screws, farqups, balls of 2nd hand masking tape, offcuts & stubby twist tops. :D

To everyone who has contributed ideas so far: Goodonya! The quality of your contributions and the thought processes behind them are tributes to the sagacity and erudition of the membership of these forums.

Keep the ideas flowing, boys and girls. They're all valid and they demand inclusion in the Code of Practice.

I'm trying to put this together in a decent layout, incorporating all the ideas that have been contributed up to now. I may have something to show you tomorrow.

Col

Where do you keep them in your shed Col? :confused: :D

But I'd rather do it than practise :D

Sadly Gents I feel that this forum is not secure enough to enable me to post what I feel to be the essential items in any proposed Code of Pratice. :p loose lips sink ships and all that ey wot ??

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Originally Posted by MarkV

Sadly Gents I feel that this forum is not secure enough to enable me to post what I feel to be the essential items in any proposed Code of Pratice. :p loose lips sink ships and all that ey wot ??

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Please feel free to post,
after all this is not the boating section:D

Boating section :p Most excellent :)

My shed, my rules.

I may well be pussy whipped in the house, I accept this for the sake of a quiet life.

Not in the shed!

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Originally Posted by Bodgy

My shed, my rules.

I may well be pussy whipped in the house, I accept this for the sake of a quiet life.

Not in the shed!

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Well, exactly!

Horse whip, yeap.
Bull whip, yeap.
Pussy whip???? :rolleyes:
Wongo, would that be some kind of a puree? :D

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Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers

Where do you keep them in your shed Col? :confused: :D

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Ginge, me old mate, I keep 'em next to the fridge, ready to be exercised when I'm having a coldie.;)

Arh, you mean like Grolsch & the beugel? ;)

(look them up in Wikki) :D

Walls and roof do not a shed make. Where the sawdust falls, it's "in the shed."


...and what good's a Code of Practice without fine print? :rolleyes: Stuff like:

Installing a safety guard on a machine you've used for years without one is just begging for trouble.

The quickest route to the hospital often involves removing a safety guard.

No matter the shed or the rules, remember this: Transgressors will be persecuted.

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Originally Posted by Skew ChiDAMN!!

.... Transgressors will be persecuted.

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Is that anything like p'd upon?:confused:

All flat surfaces no matter how narrow, wide or long are deemed to be storage or work areas, this includes lathes, machines (table saws etc), cabinets or tables being built and the mates car bonnet if he stays too long.

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Originally Posted by

... and the mates car bonnet if he stays too long.

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make that ".. and the mate (or any other visitor) or his car bonnet....":D

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Originally Posted by Wild Dingo

....snip.....
Wendy will NEVER get me to wear that red leather outfit... MOVE ON!!

ooh oops wrong thread :o

ahem... where was I? damn lost the thread of thought or was that chain of thought? red leather of thought? DAMN YOU WOMAN!!! :eek: :p

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https://www.ubeaut.biz/laughing.gif :D

If 'red leather' and suchhttps://www.ubeaut.biz/boobies.gif is going to be hung on the walls of sheds, consider rigging an emergency cover for them. Beware the https://www.ubeaut.biz/gonnagetit.gif who finds them, doesn't like them and gets rid of them for you and anything else in her way at that time.....


cheers
Wendy

OK. Here's a first draft. It's quite a long document. No apologies for that. This is important stuff and it contains contributions from many very serious intellects (see earlier posts).

I've protected it so that if you add anything the additions can be tracked. However, I suggest that you simply post any suggested additions into this thread.

This is a work in progress. All suggested additions and amendments are welcome - indeed they are encouraged. This is our Code of Practice. Let's make it a good one!

Col

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Originally Posted by

All flat surfaces no matter how narrow, wide or long are deemed to be storage or work areas, this includes lathes, machines (table saws etc), cabinets or tables being built and the mates car bonnet if he stays too long.

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Sorry , missed that one :o . However, it's an excellent contribution and it will be added to the Code! :)

Driver, a concise document. You should be rewarded for your efforts!

Mate that is truly a document of erudite wisdom and perception! I picked up only one spelling mistake (a "look" instead of "like"), but really a top effort! well done.
Now to have it printed and laminated...but where to put the thing...it won't fit under the "Good Shed" award, I'm not moving the Angelina Jolie calendar, and maybe I don't drink VB anymore, but the advertising placard is sacred!:D


Cheers,

Top effort. :D :D :D

Appendix A, item 7, 4th word should be 'never'

A seriously impressive document, Col - a real credit to yourself and the Forum.:D

Now I know that we aren't supposed to get into too much religious discussion here, but..................I think I've found a new bible.....;)

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Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers

Is that anything like p'd upon?:confused:

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Exactly. "You push my buttons, I'll punch yours."



My only problem now is finding a sheet of timber big enough to rout the Code into. I wonder if an outside wall counts as a plaque?