Miss Adventures

I was wondering what miss-adventures other people have had, I will start off with two of mine:

Miss-adventure No 1
Back in the good old days at 19 years of age I was interested in vintage cars. One night I was participating in a night navigation trial in a 1925 Chev Tourer, we were traveling around Gisborne (Victoria) when I felt the call of nature we pulled over and I rushed over to the nearest fence and started to relieve my self suddenly I felt a sharp pain in Willy and saw stars I had inadvertently peed into an electric fence stopped me in mid stream and it wouldn't work for hours after.:eek:

Miss-adventure No 2
I had a business trip to Northern Victoria several years ago as I was calling on a woolen mill my wife decided she wanted to come with me so she could buy some wool. I dropped her off at the shop and went out to the factory to talk with the maintenance guys. When I had finished I jumped in the car and took off, about 10 K down the road I realised that something was missing I had left the wife behind I turned around and by the time I got back there she was waiting for me. If she comes with me now she makes me give her the car keys before I go into a meeting.:confused:

Has any one else got a mis-adventure to add.

Regards

Phil

At about 6 years of age I was chasing my cousin around the dairy yard. I slipped and fell into the sewarage pit, which was an open hole about the size of a 44 gallon drum into which the cow poo was hosed when the yard was cleaned up. I went in up to my neck. Nearly drowned in cow shyte.

Around the same time I also peed on an electric fence. Shocking experience.

Still doing dumb things after 30 odd years. Day before yesterday, I went out to the car to go home from work. I noticed the parkers were on. Flat battery! I walked home. Walked down again yesterday, borrowed a battery charger and put it on charge for a few hours. Went out at lunch time and it was charged, started fine. Packed up the charger and went back to work. Came out in the arvo to go home. Flat battery!! I'd forgotten to turn the parkers off :o

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Originally Posted by silentC

Day before yesterday, I went out to the car to go home from work. I noticed the parkers were on. Flat battery! I walked home. Walked down again yesterday, borrowed a battery charger and put it on charge for a few hours. Went out at lunch time and it was charged, started fine. Packed up the charger and went back to work. Came out in the arvo to go home. Flat battery!! I'd forgotten to turn the parkers off :o

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Good work mate! :D I would have given you a greenie to numb the pain, but apparently I need to spread around the love a bit more...

I thought so. And I'm not even blonde....

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Originally Posted by silentC

I thought so. And I'm not even blonde....

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Let's be honest mate, when it comes to hair you're not much of anything. :D

If I'd gone into the shyte over my head, I'd probably have some hair on my head too, instead of stopping at my ears :D

Many moons ago, in the days before remote central door locking devices for cars were invented, I was driving through a major city in England.

I used to smoke in those days and I had run out of ciggies. Espying a tobacconist's kiosk, I pulled over. This was a very busy road - strictly no parking - with double yellow lines everywhere. I reckoned I had time to pull up, leap out, dash across the pavement, buy my gaspers and be back in the car in nothing flat. I looked around quickly for cops and traffic wardens. None in sight. Right! Leap out of the car, across the pavement, buy the fags. Back to the car.

Aaaaarrrgh! Bloody hell!

Door locked. Engine running. Keys in ignition!

I used to lock the car door by pressing down the inside locking button and levering up the handle as I closed the door. Habit had made me do this without thinking.

I was about to go back to the kiosk to ask if they had a wire coat hanger - the implement of choice for breaking into locked cars - when the constabulary arrived.

"Oh dear, oh dear!" was his opening remark, having summed up the situation in a glance. "You must be feeling quite embarrassed, sir....."

So many misadventures, so little time. There's the ones' I've already related elsewhere; my day collecting stumps on the bike, the anniversary, etc. so I won't retell them.

How 'bout the time I put the kick-stand down on the bike (well... I thought I did!) only to have it fall on the grey ghost ticketing up the car next to me? Or the time I parked & locked the ute, only to have it gently roll down the hill into the back of the cop car parked in front with me jogging alongside trying to get the wrong key in the lock? Then there's the time I started off in a 'dozer, only to spot my brew-bag and thermos disappearing over the front of the track from where I'd left it while I climbed aboard. When backing up to see what I could salvage I ran straight into the damned foremans' truck; he'd pulled up behind me once I started moving... :o

I guess it can all be summed up like this: about five decades ago I was born... and it hasn't finished yet. :rolleyes: Some people have one of those days; I have one of those lives.

My favourite misadventure story (that isn't mine thankfully) happened to a mad science teacher of mine. He was prone to misadventures, like lighting (read as "blowing up") a 44 gallon drum full of petrol "to see what would happen".

However the best one was that he had recently got a trailbike on cheap - there was no mudguard. Anyway, off he went driving around the farm generally having a good time. After a while he was getting pretty confident so he started to go faster, then he spied a cow pat and thought, "Right, I'll go straight over that..."

Well, he did go straight over it, the bike did its thing, picked up a large amount of the pat (fresh and steamy) and proceeded to insert it so far up his nose that it FILLED his sinuses. Apparently it took two weeks to clear his sinuses. :D

Not every teacher would be willing to tell their students stories like that...

As a lad in Jersey I used to do some coastal fishing with my Godfather and a few others. Coming back into harbour on a falling tide, I was asked (read as "if you don't you'll get a wallop!") to get on the bow, put one foot on the adjacent boat (paired moorings) whilst the boat owner made fast the stern mooring.

I should have known better. Falling tide meant outgoing water, and the boats were moored bow-in. Guess what? The bows of the two boats, on which prows I had a foot on each, started to part.

I yelled. I hollered. I was ignored. I got very wet, a groin strain, and applauded by about 30 watching onlookers. Buggah!

BTW much more recently a work colleague of eastern European descent was always calling for "alignment" between initiatives, even if they were not even remotely connected. She became known as Miss Alignment :) (not to suggest that there was a Miss Adventure, or even a misadventure :p ) Sorry!

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Originally Posted by CameronPotter

Well, he did go straight over it, the bike did its thing, picked up a large amount of the pat (fresh and steamy) and proceeded to insert it so far up his nose that it FILLED his sinuses. Apparently it took two weeks to clear his sinuses. :D

..

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That would probably take a bit more than a squirt of 'Sinex' to clear :eek:

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Originally Posted by Skew ChiDAMN!!

When backing up to see what I could salvage I ran straight into the damned foremans' truck; he'd pulled up behind me once I started moving... :o

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Thats classic....

Al :D :p

Hah! Here are you old bludgers spouting ancient history. Pah. Mere amateurs.

Here's a story from this afternoon.

I'm a writer. I have a laptop dedicated to my writing - this internet lark is done on a seperate beast. I transfer files from one to the other, plus do a backup EVERY session using a USB drive. It's great. Small. Neat. Lives on my keyring.

Well, this arvo, I went out. Got home at a reasonable hour ... and discovered that my USB drive, complete with key ring, was still in the flamin' computer :eek: Had to break in through a window didn't I :rolleyes:

Richard

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Originally Posted by Daddles

... and discovered that my USB drive, complete with key ring, was still in the flamin' computer :eek: Had to break in through a window didn't I :rolleyes:

Richard

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Oh dear, oh dear! You must be feeling quite embarrassed, sir ..... :rolleyes:
:p :p :p :p :p

When I was about 4 the EW&S were installing a new sewer main down the main road next to our house...
The trench started near our house and finished about 3km up the road which just happened to be at my grandmothers house... can you guess what happened?






























I knocked on grandma's door shocking her... how'd you get here... Oh I walked !
One of my uncles dropped me back at home and explained to Dad that the trench he dug(he worked for the EW&S shovel and pick gang) is how I ended up at Grandma's!

And boy did my sisters cop it for not watchin me!

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Originally Posted by Auld Bassoon

That would probably take a bit more than a squirt of 'Sinex' to clear :eek:

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More like a shot of semtex methinks.


My misadventures?

Started 31 years ago, no signs of abating just yet. :D

Not mentioning anything specific, other than having spent at least one night in a nuthouse under lock and key.






Well, mum had to keep me safe from all the other loonies there, even the ones who collect a paycheck. :eek: :o :D

I have never ever ever done any thing stupid...... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL....... apart from aforesaid statement of course!
Now just how many times have I launched my boat without the bungs?
How many saw stools have I sawn in half?
How many power cords have I "shortened"?
How many times have I backed up quickly..... forgetting about the trailer I am towing?
Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
How bloody long could this list be????

My common misadventure is, hopefully was now, being missed. Being missed by the bus even though I was standing at the bus stop waving at the bus, my parents forgetting to pick me up from a music lesson, the whole grade 10 class and three teachers leaving me behind at the careers night........ :rolleyes: :( Not very nice when we lived about an hour and a half away from where I happened to be when missed and I was 15 or younger...... Still, I wasn't the one who had to turn around and drive another 1.5 hours to pick me up :D

RR

I was the passenger in this ancident not the driver, mid 60's, passenger in an MGB on our way up to Mt Buller, top down tailgating a cattle truck.
Bull at rear must have been suffering dysentry, say no more....................

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Originally Posted by Iain

I was the passenger in this ancident not the driver, mid 60's, passenger in an MGB on our way up to Mt Buller, top down tailgating a cattle truck.
Bull at rear must have been suffering dysentry, say no more....................

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Suppose you could say you ended up in the Poo!!!!

I have thought of a few more (again not me thankfully) - I think I got my stupidity out of the way nice and early by almost killing myself three or four times before my second birthday... (i.e. Jumping into pools and literally turning blue and stopping breathing, getting a SERIOUS whack on the head, getting third degree burns over most of my body - I have a lot to thank Adelaide Children's Hospital for that I am not terribly scarred).

Anyway, onto funnier (and only slightly less gruesome)...

1. My girlfriend (of almost nine years) has a mum who is slightly prone to silly behaviour. Now, sure, she has had a lot of car accidents and little things like that (usually at very slow speeds), but Auld Bassoon reminded me of this one. She was asked to fend off a boat, decided that her thumb would make as good a fender and anything, so she left it there... OUCH! (This was before I knew her).

2. Her (the mum's) partner of many years was cutting some bricks using a large angle grinder. Managed to cut through his steel cap boots and left a rather large gash across his foot. He is usually OK with tools, but sometimes he is a *little* careless...

3. Now this one is a doosie! This one had the whole hospital in stitches (pun intended).
You know Bamixes? (you all nod your heads in an apprehensive way)...
You know the mincing attachments? (you all nod your heads grimacing slightly)...
You all know better than to hold the Bamix by the cutter when you plug it in? (you all make a horrible face)...
Well, lets just say that the switch on the wall was on, the Bamix was on and the cutter wasn't designed to go through bone. The Bamix came to a stop (blade inserted firmly into finger) and it was then turned off...
My mother-in-law to be (at some stage I would guess - although it isn't official yet) took the whole contraption to the hospital producing large quantities of blood and was rushed straight through. Whilst they were prepping though an inordinately large number of medical staff came by to "check up on the patient" before leaving with hard to conceal smirks on their faces.
She was actually fine but apparently it was a fluke. By probability she should have managled the nerves in that fingers entirely. Now she is absolutely fine. :)

Funny how often a horrible sorry ends with no real side effects, and then some poor guy or gal does something silly for the first time in their life and that is it... :(

Cam

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Originally Posted by Phil Spencer

Back in the good old days at 19 years of age I was interested in vintage cars. One night I was participating in a night navigation trial in a 1925 Chev Tourer, we were traveling around Gisborne (Victoria) when I felt the call of nature we pulled over and I rushed over to the nearest fence and started to relieve my self suddenly I felt a sharp pain in Willy and saw stars I had inadvertently peed into an electric fence stopped me in mid stream and it wouldn't work for hours after.:eek:
Phil

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Ahh night trials, what fun.. (Your werent in the VDC were you?) I remember doing one, and getting to the end and mentioning the stage through the state park being extra tough, and the rest of the compeditors looking at as and saying that there wasnt any section through the state park...:( :( We still made all the checkpoints, so who knows how we did it...

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Originally Posted by Gra

Ahh night trials, what fun.. (Your werent in the VDC were you?) I remember doing one, and getting to the end and mentioning the stage through the state park being extra tough, and the rest of the compeditors looking at as and saying that there wasnt any section through the state park...:( :( We still made all the checkpoints, so who knows how we did it...

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Was a Member of the VDC up to about 1980 had a 1929 Chev Truck which I sold.

Phil

Doing a survey years ago, we had to get over an electric fence. I checked that it was working - back of the hand, quick touch. Yike. The bloody thing was set for wild steers. I mentioned this to me chainman who, not wanting to miss out, reached out and GRABBED the thing :eek:

Couldn't get him within ten feet of an electric fence after that :rolleyes:

Richard

19 years old, a new pair of strides were nearly a weeks wages for an apprentice, all done up in new strides to go to the footy with mates, out of smokes, onto the motorbike and down to the shops, return trip there is a spunky chick on footpath right where I do a sharp turn around a silent cop, show off lays the bike real low, collects silent cop, roots trousers, roots leg, ego takes a hell of a bashing, girl dissapears into ditance laughing head off. :o

20 years ago, heading south across Sydney Harbour bridge on the motorbike, about 8pm. Decide to change lanes just past the Kirribilli on ramp, thinking that the white line I can see is painted on. It's actually a raised median strip about 6" wide and 8" high. Lay down bike in front of a woman coming up the ramp. She's more shaken up than I am, she thought she was going to run me down. Big hole in knee of jeans, big hole in toe of ugg boot.

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Originally Posted by CameronPotter

My favourite misadventure story (that isn't mine thankfully) happened to a mad science teacher of mine. He was prone to misadventures, like lighting (read as "blowing up") a 44 gallon drum full of petrol "to see what would happen".

.

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so what does happen? "boom", "woof" or "something more sedate" ?

I've already said this one elsehwere but its worth repeating :

Got drunk, fell asleep in wheelbarrow, mates filled it with sand and water. bastards!

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Originally Posted by Iain

I was the passenger in this ancident not the driver, mid 60's, passenger in an MGB on our way up to Mt Buller, top down tailgating a cattle truck.
Bull at rear must have been suffering dysentry, say no more....................

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Yep, all loaded up for weekend away on the Harley, passed parked cattle truck in the main drag..... your an eight mate!!!!.... back home, hose down bike, self, all the gear...... shower self, new gear..... try again..... gave ALL trucks a very wide berth for years after...

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Originally Posted by Iain

I was the passenger in this ancident not the driver, mid 60's, passenger in an MGB on our way up to Mt Buller, top down tailgating a cattle truck.
Bull at rear must have been suffering dysentry, say no more....................

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Similar, up near Murrurundi on the bike, open face helmet, load of pigs in front..........Iain, I would have been happy if it was a bull.:o

Went for an outing with the olds a few years ago. Bought some prawns and headed for a picnic table to have a cuppa. Wife rips the head off a prawn and a lovely big glob of prawn guts shoots out the end, describes a lovely arc through the air, and lands right in the old man's cup of tea just as he's raising it to his lips. "I was looking forward to that" he says. She's never lived it down...

Last bird that did something like that to the old man was the ex. There was a blowie in the house, so she picks up the can of Mortein, tracks the blowie through the air and opens fire - just as it flies past the old bloke's face. Gives him both barrels. She turns bright red, I collapse on the floor, and he looks at her, squints his eyes, snorts out through his nose and says "what did you do that for?".

Same woman, I was in hospital with a broken heel and there was another guy about 50 or so across from me with the same injury. His missus comes in to see him every day, as does mine. We all get chatting one day, and my ex says to him "you're lucky your mum comes in to see you so much". His missus says "sorry, what did you just say?" I'm looking for a hole to crawl into and the ex, not satisfied with the one she's dug for herself blurts out "you're his mum aren't you?" Jeez! I had to leave her after that one... ;)

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Originally Posted by Termite

Similar, up near Murrurundi on the bike, open face helmet, load of pigs in front..........Iain, I would have been happy if it was a bull.:o

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BUt we are comparing quality with quantity:D :D :D

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Originally Posted by Iain

BUt we are comparing quality with quantity:D :D :D

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The quantity may not have been there, but oh my gawd the quality. I'm a bloke who as a kid used to go rabbit shooting in bare feet, a fresh laid cow pat was a foot warmer. :D

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Originally Posted by Zed

Got drunk, fell asleep in wheelbarrow, mates filled it with sand and water. bastards!

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Real mates would have put some cement in too.:D

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Originally Posted by Termite

The quantity may not have been there, but oh my gawd the quality. I'm a bloke who as a kid used to go rabbit shooting in bare feet, a fresh laid cow pat was a foot warmer. :D

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I can remember doing that, to feel the warmth oozing up between the toes almost as good as holding a No45:cool:

Phil

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Originally Posted by Zed

so what does happen? "boom", "woof" or "something more sedate" ?

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Boom is what happened. But most of the explosion shot fire upwards and the barrel only kind of came apart a bit. Apparently it took some weeks to grow his hair back though.

Cam

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Originally Posted by CameronPotter

the barrel only kind of came apart a bit.

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Reminds me of our spud gun. Made from 2" PVA pipe and a spark-plug, used to prime it with WD-40 than bang a spud down. Of course, my bro had to see what happened when ya shoved two spuds down... :rolleyes:

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Apparently it took some weeks to grow his hair back though.

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A biker mates' "famous last words"... "why won't this @#%$en' barbie light?" as he bent down, lighter in hand. He looked like a wookie for months after. :D:D

There were lots of lovely, tanned and toned Miss Adventures out on the boats when I was divemastering ;) :cool: .

As for misadventures, I've had a few of those:rolleyes: . More than a few of them concern vehicles. I was storing gear in a shed in a friend's backyard. I drove in one day while it was raining just after I'd bought this little Kia 1.5T 4wd "truck". It was running on-road light truck tyres on 4.5" wide (narrow) rims. I drove in and promptly sank in to the rims. Engaged low range 4wd and got nowhere. My previous vehicle was a hilux 4wd with a V8 and monstrous tyres and had no difficulty traversing the yard. Rang a mate who had a cruiser ute to haul me out. He came around and promptly sank into the mire as well. We discovered that there was a natural spring or soak running right through the yard:rolleyes: . It took the rest of that day to dig and Tirfor winch the cruiser out, and most of the next day to get my rig out. Of course we discovered halfway through the exercise that my handbrake was still on and low range first was still engaged:o .

Got some wide rims custom made the next week;) .

Mick