Beer, what beer

At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria), Coopers (South Australia) and Swan Brewery (Western Australia) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch.



When the waitress asked what they wanted to drink, the GM of Tooheys said without hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New."


The head of Carlton & United smiled and said, "Make mine a VB." To which the boss of Coopers replied, "I'll have a Coopers, the King of Beers."


The bloke from Cascade asked for "a Cascade, the cleanest draught on the planet."


The bloke from Swan asked for a Swan Lager.


The General Manager of XXXX paused a moment and then placed his order: "I'll have a Diet Coke."


The others looked at him as if he had sprouted a new head.


"Well, he said with a shrug, if you blokes aren't drinking beer, then neither will I!"

I don't really want to start a parochial argument, but I like this joke EXCEPT for the beer that is in the punchline!!!

What should it be then Crunchie???

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Originally Posted by Crunchie

I don't really want to start a parochial argument, but I like this joke EXCEPT for the beer that is in the punchline!!!

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Is that because it was a Great Northern joke?

Hi,
He should have gone for a Classic Coke, to Hell with the wimpy Diet stuff.
Regards

I'm told that the reason Queenslanders drink XXXX is because they can't spell 'beer'.

(covers head, waits for hail of hurled timber offcuts to rain down on him.....)

I got online in 1990. (dons reading glasses, sits back into recliner) In the old days there was a thing called usenet news. It was a development of the old bulletin boards.

One group was soc.culture.australia, populated by foreigners interested in australia and some australians setting them...er helping...

Occasionally people tried to start an argument. Trolls. They would call us everything you could imagine, never a response, but every few months someone would strike upon the 2 topics that would start an almighty flame war amongst the aussies.

Which beer is best...and..

What do you call 24 cans of beer..

WW3. Every darn time.

Priorities..

Good one - it could be told which ever beer you think is best !! :2tsup:

As a young bloke I worked nights as a bouncer. Believe me the side effects can be sobering.

A few years ago, on a rail construction site, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen for awhile and we had a beer together at the wettie in the camp. He said he'd have a "Stella" (Stella Artois) which I'd never heard of. I was drinking Emu Export which at the time was often referred to as "wife basher" . When he saw my choice of beer he said "what the hell you drinking that for Geoff it'll make you go mad! Stella is much better for you".
Back home sometime later I was relating this story to a workmate and he informed me that Stella was the European version of "wife basher". These days Emu Export is known as Bush Chook.

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Originally Posted by damian

I got online in 1990........

Which beer is best...and..

What do you call 24 cans of beer..

WW3. Every darn time.

Priorities..

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Q1. There is no such thing as a bad beer, some, are just better than others.

Like every good rule there is 1 exception, Southwark aka the green death, unfortunately tested by many desperate Queenslanders during our beer strike.

Q2. Not enough.

Enuf said.

My thought on what to call the empty 24 cans of beer.

The remnants of a very good time.

Not sure what 24 empty cans of beer would be called, but 24 empty rum bottles would be "departed spirits."

Regards
Paul

Mr Dewar and Mr Teacher were on their way to a funeral, but s they had arrived a little too early, decided fill in time by having a drink at a nearby pub. Mr Teacher volunteered to buy and came back with two shots of his company's Teacher's whiskey. The two men downed these and found they still had time on their hands so Mr dewar said, " same again?" He returned from the bar with two more whiskeys and Mr Teacher immediately recognised his own brand of Teachers. After drinking it down he queried Mr Dewar on why he had not bought two Dewars. Mr Dewar replied,

"I didn't think it was befitting that we should arrive at a funeral smelling of whiskey."

Regards
Paul

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Originally Posted by Bob38S

Like every good rule there is 1 exception, Southwark aka the green death, unfortunately tested by many desperate Queenslanders during our beer strike.

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Yes, I remember Southwark well form the beer strike days back in the late 70's I think it was.

I was posted to South Australia with the Army at the time and I was driving to Rockhampton to visit my parents for Christmas. Dad asked me if I could bring some beer up with me. I told him that would probably be a bad idea but he said the line about no such thing as a bad beer, so up I came with a boot full of Southwark, bought tax free and cheap from an Army mess.

I arrived In Rockhampton to find that some enterprising person had brought up a couple of semi-loads of Southwark, hoping to make a fortune out of the beer strike. Nobody wanted it. They were selling it cheaper than the Army Boozer's tax free cost plus 105 price to try to get rid of it. It is truly evil

I don't drink alkyhol anymore, so I won't get into which is better.
The only thing I know about beer, is that Draught Beer is the only one, that shows the makers on the label!!!!
Kryn

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I don't drink alkyhol anymore,

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Neither do I, but I don't drink any less either.

I initially said in my reply at the start of this thread that I didn't really want to start a parochial fight, knowing full well that everyone has their own taste for beer.
It's funny how people see their beer. I have always agreed with the quoted saying - there's no such thing as a bad beer..." BUT I think now that some approach the "bad" label. The Government owned beer in Taiwan isn't very good and (sorry Americans) Budweiser is a shocker to me. Drinking XXXX makes me immediately look for a urinal.
It's also funny how some people either love or dislike their own "state" beers. I, along with most South Aussies, would never touch "green death"; especially when we have Coopers. Then again, I would only put Fosters one peg better that Southwark. Interestingly, a Dutch mate and I have been drinking Hollandia, but good friends in the Netherlands say they wouldn't touch it. They cross the border into Germany and bring a carload back; and why wouldn't you when you can get Erdinger and Paulaner so cheap? (AU$16 for 20 X 500ml)
Oh well, my biggest decision is whether to have a beer or one of our fantastic SA wines!!

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Budweiser is a shocker to me.

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Likewise. Fosters also seems to be an anathema to all Australians.
I think Bud to Americans, is a bit like Fosters to Australians. Few drink it, but it's known overseas as the American or Australian beer. There are many good American beers, but one of them isn't Bud.

Well, thanks to Kryn for telling yet another of his yarns. I suppose it was always going to stir a little debate. Perhaps Kryn knew that :D !

Are any of you familiar with Private Eye? It was a little underground paper published in London, not much more than a broadsheet, and looked most of the time as though it had been knocked out on a photocopier. It was something of a cult then and I just looked it up and it is still a cult, defying the downward spiral of print media, with a circulation exceeding 3 million.

Anyhow, back in the mid seventies they sent an intrepid, but quite fearful reporter to interview the actor Robert Mitchum. The reporter explained that it was the journalistic norm to send two people for Mitchum interviews as you couldn't be completely confident on how things would go! However the reporter (I think it may have been a girl, but not sure) asked many questions for the first page of a three page article and was answered with monosyllabic replies that consisted primarily of "Yep" and "Nope."

Then Mitchum was asked what was the strongest drink he ever tried. He elaborated without stopping for the next two pages. If my memory serves me right, it was some illicit Tequila type brew that was alleged to be around 180 proof (maybe it was only 160 proof; I don't recall exactly). No wonder Mitchum battled on occasions with addictions.

Alcohol: Always guaranteed to encourage discussion.

Regards
Paul

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Originally Posted by AlexS

I'm told that the reason Queenslanders drink XXXX is because they can't spell 'beer'.

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As a Queenslander, I can't drink XXXX Gold, it's got to be one of the worst beers ever.

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Originally Posted by AlexS

Likewise. Fosters also seems to be an anathema to all Australians.
I think Bud to Americans, is a bit like Fosters to Australians. Few drink it, but it's known overseas as the American or Australian beer. There are many good American beers, but one of them isn't Bud.

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Interesting observation about Bud! I go to the US every year and Bud from the gas station is crap. But if you buy it from a liqour store, it's higher alcohol content and tastes way better. It's my choice over there.
BTW guys, so nice to see a calm debate about beer. I made a near fatal mistake rubishing Vomit Brew a lot of years ago, even had to change my username and reregister due to the storm i caused.
Not that I drink much anymore, but my choice is Iron Jack, tastes like old fashioned beer.
Rgds,
Crocy.

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Originally Posted by AlexS

Neither do I, but I don't drink any less either.

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Yes, I don't DRINK any more. I do freeze it and eat it with a spoon.

To tell the truth, I don't drink much these days - I spill most of it.