Shop lifting checks

Yesterday, I went over to the local Bunnings Store to get a lock for shed protection, and some other bits and pieces.


When I was ready to pay for the lock and other bits and pieces, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."


Making a mental note to complain to the CEO about the store check out operators running amok about shop lifting, I did just as she had instructed.


When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!!


I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to us Seniors a little clearer.


I don't think I looked that bad.

My problem is when I use a card the screen says "Press OK". There is no button labeled OK.

In the gardening section looking at shovels the assistant says "take your pick". There are no picks, only shovels.

Any wonder I get confused. :rolleyes:

When the greeter says 'how you going' I say 'by boat and I'm running late, where's the loading dock'.... no-one has come up with a reply for their induction course yet for this one :rolleyes:

When the check out girls ask "How are you today?" My reply with a straight face is "What's it to do with you?" :D

When somebody asks, "How are you today?" I usually answer, "You never want to ask someone my age that?"

Whenever I ask them "How are you" and they reply "Good", my response is that they might be well but it is for others to decide if they are good.

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Originally Posted by Chesand

Whenever I ask them "How are you" and they reply "Good", my response is that they might be well but it is for others to decide if they are good.

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I ask them to prove it ...

The one I HATE is the old 'How are we today.' from young check out attendants.

my answer i inevitably 'I have no idea how you are. Why are you asking how you are?'

They stare blankly, the young generation having been totally unmoored from even the remotest considerations of good use of language, let alone grammar. Sadly even my generation is starting to pick it up.

And you wonder why you are called Grumpy Old Men...

Or the blank look I get when I reply to the routine statement by the checkout operator "that will be $xx today" my reply "how much will it be tomorrow?"

I personally have despised the "Oww Ya Goan?" question since 21....

They ask a question and don't expect an answer. Worse, its mindlessly droned out.

From a sales perspective it should be illegal.

Its impolite, impersonal and utterly ridiculous - worse, it has absolutely nothing to do with why I might be there (Hospital emergency excepted).

There are 100 other more appropriate greetings that would gain more traction from a sales perspective. My health has nothing to do with Bunnings, unless its for a shovel for a DIY job ;)

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Originally Posted by Ruddy

And you wonder why you are called Grumpy Old Men...

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Actually most of us are pretty content with that label :)

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Originally Posted by Bendigo Bob

The one I HATE is the old 'How are we today.' from young check out attendants.

my answer i inevitably 'I have no idea how you are. Why are you asking how you are?'

They stare blankly, the young generation having been totally unmoored from even the remotest considerations of good use of language, let alone grammar. Sadly even my generation is starting to pick it up.

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I have always struggled with English and I'm definitely no paragon of grammar. I first read your quip and thought 'couldn't the language evolve?'. Then I realised this would be a bad development because it would make English grammar more difficult.
I should be working but I looked this up. It seems the issue is our lack of informal second person pronoun.
Originally we had thou (singular) and ye (plural) for informal. Whereas 'you' was formal. We dropped the informal.

How art thou? Was considered too informal and fell out of use. Although to modern ears it sounds most formal.

Nowadays 'you' might be considered more informal since the language doesn't really have the formal form grammar any longer. Which might leave some feeling the need to create a formal second person pronoun.

What people might fail to realise is that a formal version of the pronoun would accompany formal versions of each verb.
By removing thou, thee, ye, thy, thine etc we removed an entire set of verb forms and simplified the language. For example, to use thou one usually needed to end verbs in ...st.
What dost thou still in bed, thou lazy lout? Thou canst not.

Just to confuse things if one was to make 'we' a formal second person pronoun, would it be treated as a third person pronoun grammatically? That might be necessary to make it clear 'we' was being used in the second person formal - not first person plural?
I beg your pardon for my intrusion. I see that we doth what we liketh best: we sleepth.
Or would we need to use 'Our' as formal second person possessive? (Thy and thine being informal and thus unsuitable).
May I emploreth our pardon for my intrusion? I see that we doth what we liketh best: we sleepth.

As in Spanish where usted is the formal form of you and acts as in the third person with third person verb endings.

In English we do have the fourth person in extremely formal speech but I'm not sure it works in this context since it is really for an undefined person. Maybe it could be made to work.
How is one today?
How does one do today?
How does one find one's state of affairs today?
I trust I find one well and of good humor today.
May I presume to have found one well and of a convivial disposition this day?

Of course, I suppose to be formal they could simply say: 'Salutations'.
It's not as if they give a rats about your health.

Another 20 minutes of my life wasted.
Easier just to call you a grumpy old man and get myself back to work.

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Originally Posted by Ruddy

And you wonder why you are called Grumpy Old Men...

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I wear that tag with pride.:)

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Originally Posted by Ruddy

And you wonder why you are called Grumpy Old Men...

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and I'm becoming a Grumpy Old Woman!

Thanks Dave, you gave me a good hearty chuckle today :)

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Originally Posted by Bendigo Bob

Thanks Dave, you gave me a good hearty chuckle today :)

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You are most welcome.

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Originally Posted by Ruddy

And you wonder why you are called Grumpy Old Men...

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I represent that remark!!!!!

When asked how I'm going I often respond with "Why..... are you a doctor?"

Years ago we stayed a night at Crown in Melbourne with full breakfast included. Our waiter was very proper with beautiful English and pronounciation etc. as the breakfast ended he came to the table and improperly inquired... " 'Ave yous paid for this...?" my response "Yeah mate, we'z 'ave!" to which I got a bemused look that said huh, why are you talking like that. Definitely no tip for that bloke.

Go into almost any shop selling shoes and get greeted with "Youz right?" It's almost mandatory statement.

:doh:

I don't mind "How ya goin" at least its Australian.
I do hate "OK Guys what can we get you" when you go to a cafe/restaurant.
"How are things" what things? Or what are "things"
What about the kids serving at Maccas, they say "See you later" that's a lie. I have never seen them later
"G'Day Mate" Now that's Australian
"What do you know" is another one I don't mind. Its not really a question when taken in to context when said when first meeting that morning
We had an Apprentice who finished off his last 2 years with us. When you would say "How ya goin" first thing, all you would get was a grunt. I bumped into him years later and guess what ...He grunted. Must have been a family thing. He may have been more Neanderthal than human

I am dismayed with the influence of TV (American) sayings being used instead of "older" Australian words

Ooohh, don't get me started on millenials face-to-face, social abilities performance. What about "Youz guys right?" .. or "Youz guys looking for sumfing"?

We aren't America, we don't live in America, we have our own language and expressions, and it's called the Queens English with a degree of Aussie flavour.

I detest the overwhelming and endless impact on our society of American culture. We've got youngsters who have adopted American "hood" greeting methods, with "hood-style" fancy Negroid "handshakes". What do they want? - for us to fully develop into Crips and Bloods, gang neighbourhoods?

Local cops tell me they round up juvenile offenders, and they start mouthing off about "pleading the 5th Amendment"! Give us a break!

School teachers reckon they nearly go insane trying to ensure that it's pronounced "skedule", not "shedule". Or that it's spelt "centre", not "center". Or that it's "flavour" and "humour", not "flavor" and "humor".

The problem is simply the one of constant overwhelming American assault via our electronic devices.
Type in a word and it wants to correct to American spelling. Google "Derby" - and unless you put "Derby, W.A.", you get Derby in Connecticut.
Even "WA" will immediately bring up every result associated with Washington State.

Anyway, I'm glad I got that off my chest. Just a GOM, reporting in from the Southern Hemispheres, 51st State of the Union. Ah'll see y'all, guys. High five with a double knuckle bump and shuffle.

NC teacher has unique handshake for each student | Daily Mail Online

I am just fed up hearing "Man", "Bro", "COOL", Ooooh that really gets me. I grew up in a era that identified "cool" as a measurement of temperature and not the "add on" adjective to complement what ever subject. I would rather leave "cool" to Maynard G Krebs. The Beatnick from The Many Loves of Dobie Gillous. A sit com, yes from America, set in the 60s and following a young bloke who chased girls but never managed to catch any.

Of Maynard G Krebs, his father would give him a ticket to anywhere in the world.....one way!

I just learned something. Youse guys spell the plural of you as youz.

Even though I grew up in Brooklyn, my mother would box my ears every time I use the word "youse". There were so many other slang words that would upset her. Whether it be Yiddish, Italian or Spanish. My mother absolutely hated any slang of any kind.

'how are you today'
my response .... large hacking up fleme cough, smile and say "doc has given me 4 days, then every day after is a bonus, how you going? You having a good day? Enjoy your work?"

One shop person in Adelaide years ago got more than they wished for when the asked " how are you today?" I collapsed on the floor groaning and holding my gut, slowly got up (after she screamed and possibly wet herself) Iam OK nothing to worry about, then walked out with goods without paying......:D

to the 'you right?' or 'you right there?' shop assistant question my answer is inevitably - 'no, only half right - half left too!'

I just LOVE the quizzical looks. :)

I think "youse" has got a lot to do with being made popular by Jeff Fenech. You may remember that after he had just done his utmost to pummel a fellow human being to the canvas he would beam and say,

"I loves youse all!"

Many moons ago I used to undertake a workshop practice course in welding (not that too many would pick my education in that field) and my teacher, Dan, who was one of the best welders I have met, would look sympathetically at my work and ask in the most polite fashion would you like "us" to do that for you. He did not have a team of people waiting to do my work. It was his humble and most modest manner that was so endearing.

However, with greetings, I emulate an old uncle who is now in the woodworking shop in the sky. When greeted with the question "How are you?" he would reply.

"I'm alright; It's all the others!"

Regards
Paul

I saw a large sign at a recycling place yesterday:

For Sale
Garden Knowm

At least he is having an attempt at the silent letters.

CP

I must admit to having some fun with shop assistants while being bored out of my brain out 'shopping' with the wife largely against my will.
They politely ask "can I help you?"
I reply. "No. It's too late for me. Save yourself."

"How are you?"
"I'm fine but the man in my head really should have taken his medication."

Stuff like that.


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Another one I use when they ask 'how are you' and I reply, 'I'll just check with my wife", for some reason they suddenly remember they have to be somewhere else....

How are you? So far so good, but it's only lunchtime.

"How are you today"? is a familiar question at our local supermarket.
My standard response is, "Oh I have felt worse, but I can't remember when".
This usually results in the cashier giving me a strange look.

My other standard response (but not to the young girls).
To the expression, "See you later" I answer, "Ok, what time".
Usually I get a grin when the person realises what they have said.

My pet peeve is being addressed as "buddy", " pal", or "mate" !

Another one Ive heard...

"Hello love"
"dont you hello love me, the last time we met you kicked me out of bed saying you never wanted to see me again."

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Originally Posted by arose62

My pet peeve is being addressed as "buddy", " pal", or "mate" !

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If it irks you to be called 'mate' and you live in Australia or New Zealand then you are in for a miserable life.


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Would you prefer they just stand there saying nothing with a bored look on their face? I am happy to respond to any friendly greeting with the appropriate cheerful response. The front line troops probably don't care how you are feeling today sir/ mate/ buddy they are just greeting you as management has instructed them to do.
Years ago one of our customers came into the office and in response to our receptionists cheery greeting gave her a nasty broadside, the manager in the adjoining office, intervened immediately, taking him into his office and closed the door behind them. He talked through the irate customers problem and did whatever he needed to do to placate him. At the finish he said "please apologise to Ms........ on your way out and if you ever come in here and talk to her like that again you can take your business elsewhere."

Have a great day youse.
Geoff.

Many moons ago I started out my career by fixing electronic cash registers. In January we had skeleton staff while most were on holiday. This caused a back log of jobs for retailers who have one of their busiest periods.
We worked on the jobs as quickly as possible and people just had to wait for us to get to them.

I turned up at one store. The store manager frustrated by the delay went ballistic at me calling me every name under the book.
I stood there and waited for him to finish. Then I said:
'I don't get paid to be spoken to like that.' I turned around and left.
By the time I got back to the workshop that guy had already called my manager. I didn't expect my manager to back me up to be honest. However my manager listened to my side and rung the guy back. He told him simply that I was correct in that I wasn't paid to be spoken to like that and neither was anyone else in the company and so no one would be coming to fix his machine.
10 minutes later the guy called back to sincerly apologise to me and ask me to return.

So yeah there's a line.

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