Mary had a little lamb,
her father shot it dead.
Now Mary takes the lamb to school-
between two slices of bread.
:mad:
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Mary had a little lamb,
her father shot it dead.
Now Mary takes the lamb to school-
between two slices of bread.
:mad:
Mary had a little Lamb
And her mother fainted!!
Hickory dickory dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
And the other two escaped with minor injuries
When Mary had a little lamb
the doctors were surprised.
But when Old MacDonald had a farm
they couldn't believe their eyes.
or
Mary had a little lamb
she had it with mint sauce.
She had some baked potatoes
and some nice green peas of course.
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner,
Eating a mincemeat pie.
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a plum,
And said, "Frick, I could've choked on that."
Jack be Nimble
Jack be Quick
Jack jumped over the Candlestick
Candlestick was made of Glass
Jack fell down and cut his......................finger
Mary had a little lamb,
Fleece as black as charcoal,
Every time it jumped a fence,
Sparks flew out its'..............................
Re. the above: Many years ago, when I was alive, I was fitting out the school hall across the road from where I live. The electricians had just finished setting up the Microphone system on the stage. Fooling about, I picked up the Mike and recited the above- that is:-
Mary had little lamb- The doctor fainted!
The other chippies laughed and then the electrician rushed in and said- Thanks! That was attached to the Tannoy system and went out over the whole school!
When the Principal arrived, minutes later, breathing fire and smoke- guess what? We were all working away and no-one was anywhere near the stage...
So what did you do for the encore? ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
Jack be Nimble
Jack be Quick
Jack jumped over the Candlestick
Candlestick was made of Glass
Jack fell down, great balls of fire!
The boy stood on the burning deck,
his pockets full of crackers,
one fell down between his legs,
and blew off both his ...
Richard
The boy stood in the witness box,
picking his nose like fury.
Rolling it into little balls-
and flicking it at the jury
Mary had a little Lamb
took it to bed at night,
the Lamb turned out to be a Ram
.....now Mary has another little Lamb
The boy stood on the burning deck
his back against the mast
he said I'm not leaving here
'til Oscar Wilde goes past
Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffett
eating her curds and whey
along came a spider
and sat down beside her
and made Miss Muffett say
P... off hairy legs
Spider spider on the wall
have you got no sense at all
can't you see the walls been plastered
will you get off you silly spider
As I awoke this morning
as all sweet things are born
a robin perched upon my sill
to thrill this happy morn
He was so sweet and frail
and sweetly did he sing
thoughts of joy and happiness
into my heart did spring
I smiled so sweetly to myself
as I paused beside my bed
and slowly brought the window down
and crushed his bloody head
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the kings soldiers,
And all the kings men said,
Ah frick him he's only an egg anyway.
Georgie, porgie,
Puddin & pie
Kissed the girls & made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cos he was gay.
Cheers...................Sean, plagarists unite
Mary Had a little lamb,
It ran in to a pylon
10,000 volts up its ****
Turned its wool to nylon.
Mary had a little skirt,
that was spilt right up the sides
And everytime that Mary sat,
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt,
it was split right up the front
But she didn't where it very often.
Mary had a little watch
she swallowed it one day
now she's taking epson salts
to pass the time away.
The epson salts, they did not work
the watch, it did not pass
so if you want to know he time
you look up Mary's... Aunty, she has a lovely watch. :rolleyes: