just had a phone call

I have just had one of "those" calls from Micrsoft Vindows

My wife answered the call then handed it off to me.

ME: hello
Them: Hello am I speaking to Mr (MY name)
ME: Yes
Them: My name is Edvard and I am calling from Microsoft Vindows about a problem you are having with Microsoft Vindows
ME: (enthusiastically) Yes, which one.
Them: the computer running Microsoft Vindows 7
ME: (enthusiastically, again) Yes, which one.
Them: The one with Microsoft Vindows 7
ME: (enthusiastically, again!) Yes!, which one.
Them: how many computers do you have there with Microsoft Vindows ?
ME: 6
Them: OHH!
ME: give me the registration number and I will get the machine
Them: Prolonged silence
ME: They didnt teach you THAT in class did the you dick head!
I hang up and said to the wife "that was fun"

I could actually hear this dick reading the next question to my responses, then as I got more agreeable the pauses between questions got longer as he scanned the "next question" list, then after the registration question from me the was a deafening silence.

I did for a moment consider telling him we were on the do not call list but decided to have a bit of fun instead

I can not believe they are so stupid to think that there is anyone left who would still fall for this scam
The first real give away is the accent.

I don't have the tolerance for cold calls, either touting for business or scamming. I usually just say "Not interested" and hangup. If its a charity I might say "Sorry. can't help. Please don't ring back." but still hangup.

If I thought they are OZ based, I used to start talking about the Do Not Call Register. I'd start asking them for caller details, personal names, company names, phone numbers etc and remind them they are breaking Australian law if they don't tell me. Most hang up at "This number is on the Do Not Call Register". Surprisingly some persisted with the blurb, some would even argue the validity of DNC and of my registration. And on rare occasions, if I was polite but still forceful, they were sometimes dumb enough to give all and in two instances I've managed to get enough info and submit it to the DNC website, that it assisted in prosecutions against Dodo and a local financial advice company.

But now I just give them no time all. My time is more valuable than theirs and I haven't worked for over 6 years.

The last caller, do not know what they were ringing about, I just asked for their company name and street address. They said they were in India.
"Sorry, I do not service India" and hung up.

Usually I tell them that it will cost them $100 an hour or part there of, are they prepared to accept this fee?
My time is money, all they do is prove the phone works.

Those Microsoft scammers catch people all the time, that is why they do it.

I tell them I am busy at the moment, and will call them back whn I am free, and then ask for their number. Instant hang-up!

This can be fun - to make it more entertaining speak in a variable inflected Mr Bean voice and PAUSE for at least 5 seconds before responding.

To everything they ask/say, just say "YEAAAHESSSSS"

The game is, how many questions can you get out of them before they realize they are dealing with fruitcake and hang up.

The record I have heard of is 23 questions.

I usually tell them the person they wished to speak to passed away this morning and I am just there cleaning up the blood, I then get stunned silence and then a dial tone.

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Originally Posted by tdrumnut

I usually tell them the person they wished to speak to passed away this morning and I am just there cleaning up the blood, I then get stunned silence and then a dial tone.

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thats hilarious haha

I dont have a landline so i dont get calls from them.. but oh i wish i did sometimes just to toy with them.

The "giveaway*" for me was when I picked up the phone and I heard a very poorly recorded version of the old microsoft start-up tones.

*The real giveaway is tech-support phoning in the first place.........

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Originally Posted by tdrumnut

I usually tell them the person they wished to speak to passed away this morning and I am just there cleaning up the blood, I then get stunned silence and then a dial tone.

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Now good corporate citizens would have called emergency services - in Delhi:D

I've had this a couple of time here in France. I am very friendly and try to answer all of their questions and push all the buttons they tell me to. Well, that's what I tell them. They go through all of the Windoze whatever and I tell them that I have a diffferent screen to the one they describe and I do nothing and just wind them along.

Eventually, when they are totally confused snd start asking what windoze OS I have I just tell them OS X 10.6.8 and they have been really cleaver to find such a windoze problem on my Mac. It winds them up and wastes their time:D :D:D

Cold calling again, but different subject. A mate of mine had a call one eve from a conservatory company. He had nowt doing so he chatted to a very nice lady. After about 20 minutes they had sorted out what type of glass, how many power points, colours and all that sort of thing and she said that she would send one of their guys around the next day to do the measuring and things. When she asked for the address he told her, Flat 1b, such & such a road and she jumped in and siad "it is a ground floor flat isn't it?". He said no we are on the first floor. She yelled several obscenities at him and accused his mother of being a sport and slammed the phone down. Up until that point she had been really nice and my mate was both surprised and hurt :cool: :cool: :cool: :roll:

Well they got my ex:doh: He just happened to have installed windows simulator on his mac that morning to make sure something he is working on would work on it. I dunno how, but they talked him into giving his credit card details. Sometimes he is easy to bamboozle I guess. He ended up calling the cyber crime unit thingy. I think right on the day Julia announced more funding for it. (and put all the single mums on newstart.... but that's another story. Don't get me started. ) So I guess they DO get the odd person. They didn't get to clean out his bank account though. :rolleyes:

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They didn't get to clean out his bank account though.

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Did you get in first?:D (only kidding)

Look at the case in the news at the moment. A woman scammed of $80,000 and then taken for another $400,000 by a fake lawyer promising to get the first lot back for her! So many people hear what they want to hear or just can't believe that there are crooks in the world. How many times have landmarks like the Eiffel tower and London Bridge been sold?
ps when London Bridge was actually sold, it was said that the buyers had been expecting Tower Bridge:D

A fool and his money are soon parted. What I would like to know is how do they get so much of it in the first place when they are so dumb?
Regards

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Originally Posted by AlexS

Did you get in first?:D (only kidding)

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That reminds me of Robin Williams' quote:

"Divorce: Ah yes; From the latin word meaning to extract a man's testicles through his wallet ."

Regards
Paul


(TL. Nothing personal here. I know it works both ways :) .)

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Originally Posted by Bushmiller

That reminds me of Robin Williams' quote:

"Divorce: Ah yes; From the latin word meaning to extract a man's testicles through his wallet ."

Regards
Paul


(TL. Nothing personal here. I know it works both ways :) .)

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Well our divorce is one of the few true amicable ones I know of. No testicles extracted from anywhere. :cool:

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Originally Posted by tea lady

Well our divorce is one of the few true amicable ones I know of. No testicles extracted from anywhere. :cool:

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The last time I heard about that situation they were held quite safely be Scrotum, the trusty wrinkled old family retainer :C

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Originally Posted by jimbur

How many times have landmarks like the Eiffel tower and London Bridge been sold?

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Only once that I'm aware of. A bunch of fools bought it and moved it to Arizona. :q

We have caller I/D here and we can see on a display the number and name of the caller. When it is a telemarketer, I'll answer in Spanish and use the only two words that I know. Bueno and si. Every question that they ask, I'll answer with si until they hang up.

Anyone want to buy scrap steel?

I have been tasked with selling that big bridge in Sydney which is surplus to requirements.

Please send me your bank and credit card details by the end of this week and it is yours.

Not interested in scrap steel - how about road base - I have just this minute been tasked with getting rid of this big rock in central Australia as it is getting in the way of the sunrise and providing too much shade for the delicate desert plants.

As above - Please send me your bank and credit card details by the end of this week and it is yours.

:B

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Originally Posted by rrich

Only once that I'm aware of. A bunch of fools bought it and moved it to Arizona. :q

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Sorry Rich, should have said 'sold'.