Alan walks into a doctor’s office at Wallan with a stick of celery in one ear, a carrot in the other and a grape up his nose. Confused, Alan asks: "Doctor what's wrong with me?" The doctor looks at Alan and replies...
"You're not eating properly!"
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Alan walks into a doctor’s office at Wallan with a stick of celery in one ear, a carrot in the other and a grape up his nose. Confused, Alan asks: "Doctor what's wrong with me?" The doctor looks at Alan and replies...
"You're not eating properly!"
Same doctor - next day.
I went there with a pain in the tummy. He asked what
food I had eaten that day.
I replied, "For breakfast - two billiard balls, one pink, one black.
Then for lunch - two billiard balls, one brown , one yellow.
and finally for dinner - four reds".
The doctor said, "It's simple, you are not eating enough greens".
Allan
:bricks:
:rolleyes:
I saw Alan today actually, he was flying a kite. I asked him what he was doing flying a kite and he replied that he had been to the doctor and asked him if he could give him something for the wind. so he gave him a kite.
Alan's wife saw him flying a kite. She told him, "You need more _ _ _ _."
He said, "Last night you told me to go fly a kite."
Cheers,
Joe
Yes so Allan made his kite used some Osage Orange for the frame being a double box kite he decided he needed plenty material for the sails. His MiL wasn't to pleased though he'd used a pair of her silk bloomers.
You've forgotten Al's dietry problems
- it's getting a bit hard to stomache
Allan goes back to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
At last, after roughly three weeks without my computer it is
finally repaired and returned to me today.
On the rare occasion that I have needed to I used my wife's
laptop I can now declare .... "I hate it". I am a touch typist
from way back and find the laptop simply too small for my
fingers.
My wife has never heard me use so many expletives and she
is more relieved than me to get mine back.
Glad to see my "mates" have been busy posting jokes
about me in my absence ... thanks fellas.:D
Allan
Allan all you needed to do was plug the USB key board into the USB slot on the laptop. :doh:
As for being a touch typist from way back is that when the typwriter first hit the market:U
boom boom
You are a cruel man Ray.:DQuote:
Originally Posted by wheelinround
Have been a touch typist since 1957 for what its worth.
Allan
That was the year Sue was born Allan I recall those typewriters old heavy and the need for brickies touch on the keys.Quote:
Originally Posted by Allan at Wallan
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7pn67BiL4k"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?<wbr>v=d7pn67BiL4k[/ame]
Just a quickie, I have also just got my PC back today but I cannot find the spell checker, how do I install that please?
I can type faster than her, but not so accurately.
spell checker should be in the bookcase shouldn't it?
I hev kno yewse fore spelchekr - doo ok withowt it.:DQuote:
Originally Posted by jow104
Allan
You two comedians above should come up here, dont see much of Rolf H. these days on tv, I reckon you would make your fortune.
:D
Sorry Jow, John and I tried our hand at being comedians onceQuote:
Originally Posted by jow104
but we gave it up after one night ... people were laughing at us.:D
Allan
The first time Alan's mum clapped eyes on her new baby, she thought he looked a bit funny.:)
I remember it well.Quote:
Originally Posted by munruben
I was the lightest baby ever born at Warburton Hospital
... they put me on the scales and I "blew off".:D
Allan
Slippery little sucker:D