Are boys always naughty?

Or is it the parents responsibility?

Jasmin had her birthday party on Saturday. She invited a lot of friends mostly girls. It was a lovely days except the 3 boys, 3 little bastards.:mad:

3 boys, 2 of the boys are brothers. I know them from Rhonda’s mothers group. When 3 of them get together they are very naughty.

Anyway, they went into the cubby house. One of them stood behind the door to stop the girls going in. The other 2 trashed the whole place, kicked and turned everything upside down.:mad: The girls kept yelling “Open the door open the door”. I went up there to see what is going on. OMG it was bad. Jasmin’s cooking set was broken into pieces. The poor girl just cried and cried.:(

Opened the door and all boys out. Told my wife that the boys are not welcome in my house anymore.:mad: The parents said nothing like they always do.:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I mean you’ve got to do something about it. My Jasmin is a good girl and usually behaves very well but I will never let her get away from being naughty. The least the parents can do is let them tell their kids it is wrong to damage someone else’s things. Instead they take the easy option. Quite frankly they are doing the kids any good.

What’s your view?

No Wongo,
Thats not typical boys thats just bad behaviour. You cant always blame the parents some kids are just shyts but mostly I recon the blame should be directed to parental discipline.
I've got a 6 and a 4 1/2 yr old boys, great kids, polite and generally well behaved.
Thats because they know what sort of behavior I expect from them and they like pleasing me and other adults.:)
They also know the consequences of bad behaviour.:eek:
They are boys tho so you expect them to push the envelope from time to time and they do get carried away but they know not to damage other peoples thing etc.
Sounds like the three you had over or at least the ring leader needed a boot up the backside.:mad:

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Originally Posted by Wongo

Or is it the parents responsibility?

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Absolutely.

We had about 12 boys around a few weeks ago for my son's 5th birthday party. They were, without exception, well behaved and polite. They all played together well, did what they were told, and ran amuck! Had a good time but nothing got broken. Better have a word to Jasmin about the boys she is hanging around with ;)

They need to be jumped on early, a stern voice and a threat is all most need but a kick in the backside is a good exclamation mark... Trouble is these days that will get you in deep doodoo.

However did you read of the baby in the paper this weekend? 7 broken ribs, lungs full of water, was on life support for a week then they sent it home to the father who caused all the damage.

Has to be a balance and a hurt pride is all thats needed to instill respect for others.

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Originally Posted by bennylaird

They need to be jumped on early, a stern voice and a threat is all most need but a kick in the backside is a good exclamation mark... for others.

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Benny thats sums it up I'd say I used to be quite strict with my boys when they were real young, now I just have to give them THE LOOK and they settle down.:)

Wongo,
The parent's response identified the problem, very graphically. Who allows their children to damage someone els'e property and does not react with apologies and offers to make good?:mad:
My two sons are adults, now and I have my grandson (21/2),at least one day each fortnight, for our time. I have seen changes as he has been exposed to bad behaviour of other children at play and kindergaten, but it does not remain because he knows what is approved of and what is identified as bad and not approved of. He does not want to lose love or be roused on, so he can be re-taught. But if there was no reaction to the bad, why would anyone change?:(
Also, you hope your children are angels when they are out. I can still remember some young boys who were angels around adults and proper little B****ds when they thought there were no adults watching.:mad:

Why not do the boys a favour and ask the parents what they suggest be done about the trashing of your daughter's cubby and contents? The issue should be addressed.

My boys are 24 and 22 and I am pleased to say they have great values. One will be a primary teacher soon the other a plumber. May have given them the occassional smack as toddlers but nothing more. My plumber son has been hurt before outside the pub but that was when he stepped in to stop his mate from being bashed, he had a black eye but the other guy faired much worse. Son is 6'4" and usually the bullies back away. My worry is some gutless mooron will use a knife as seems the trend.

All we did was brought them up with our own values.

Wongo, what are these kids parents like? I'm guessing the are either to soft or are have values none of us want to see in people?

I think that the boys have been let down by their parents. A little bit of behaviour correction when they were young would have avoided their now potential destination - gaol.

I am sure the parents will feel bad when they hear their sweet boys have been raped and bashed in gaol by bigger bullies but they only have themselves to blame.

Sounds like the whole family is a waste of space.

I don't attribute this lack of respect to the kids being boys.

I congratulate you on your cool approach Scott, if it had been me, my gross annoyance might have resulted in the parents being assaulted - definitely insulted.

The boys are not Jasmin’s best mates, not by a long way. They have been in the same mothers group for a long time. That’s all.

I spoke to my wife last night. Asked her to have a word with the parents next time they meet – today. If they stay defensive then my wife will leave the mothers group. Apparently the other 2 mothers also feel a bit tired of the boys too. Last year the boy hit one of the girls in her face.:mad: The mother of the girl got really unset. Still don’t know how he could get away from it.:mad:

Looking at the 2 brothers (5 and 3) makes me wonder why does the 3 yr old behave exactly the same as the 5 yr old. It has to be the parents, they are soft and they are protective. :mad: The thing is you can't really tell them what to do. And if they do want to discipline their own kids then it is not much I can do.

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Originally Posted by Wongo

Or is it the parents responsibility?

3 boys, 2 of the boys are brothers. I know them from Rhonda’s mothers group. When 3 of them get together they are very naughty.

What’s your view?

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Hi Wongo,

So why invite them if you knew there was a good possibility of there being trouble given their past record:confused: . Personally we don't invite kids to our house who have not been bought up with the correct values. It is unfortunate that most of the girls at the party will now think that all boys are like that which we know isn't true.

When I was doing my apprenticeship many years ago one of the guys working in our section came in one day and told us his son (who was only 4 at the time) had on the previous day gone into a small womans clothes shop with his mom and had got into the display window area and pulled down all the mannequins (who had clothes on them). When asked what did the mother or he plan on doing to the kid they said nothing - they actually thought it was funny and boys are like that at that age:eek:. I know if I had done anything like that, my feet would not have touched the floor the the next week and rightly so.

There are too many parents these days who won't smack their kids because they are afraid of being disliked (by the child) for it. I feel the kids are being let down (a disservice) if they are not made aware of the difference between right and wrong.

David

I've got four sons, and the best advice that I was ever given is that boys (a) need boundaries, and (b) need to know that those boundaries will be enforced fairly, promptly and consistantly. And as Teddy Roosevelt once said, speak softly and carry a big stick.

If any of my boys did that to other kids, they'd know about it, quick smart.

People say it's hard being a parent... well duh!

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I will never let her get away from being naughty

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There's the answer Wongo.

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Originally Posted by Bleedin Thumb

Benny thats sums it up I'd say I used to be quite strict with my boys when they were real young, now I just have to give them THE LOOK and they settle down.:)

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Nailed it, Bleedin. :)

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Originally Posted by Wongo

The boys are not Jasmin’s best mates, not by a long way. They have been in the same mothers group for a long time. That’s all.

I spoke to my wife last night. Asked her to have a word with the parents next time they meet – today. If they stay defensive then my wife will leave the mothers group. Apparently the other 2 mothers also feel a bit tired of the boys too........

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Sounds like there are a few families that need to leave the group in protest, and then form their own......might be that only one family is left in the original mother's group.