...woman and her sister Rusty was the exact opposite, you couldn't fit......
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...woman and her sister Rusty was the exact opposite, you couldn't fit......
...a wooden...
...toothpick...
...between...
... her ...
......wooden legs due to......
..the fact that they were glued together with...
..Titebond.
Which when you think about it is a strange thing to do if you are unfortunate enough to have two wooden legs.
But that was Rusty for you. In fact, farmer O'toole and Plenty used to pretend...
... Seaman Staines' ...
had done it, just to cover their embarassment.
Nobody was fooled though.
"Poor old O'toole", they used to mutter to each other whenever he'd pass by.
One daughter's the size of a bus and the other is ...
..hopping mad...
... and impossible to ...
...manipulate...
onto a horse.
Yep, the local riding school used to despair whnever they'd see the O'toole sisters turn up.
In fact, it got so bad that they ended up ...
giving 'Peggy', as they affectionately called her, a wooden rocking horse, as this seemed to be the only way that they would ever get her firmly mounted on a ..
...single stirrup sadle...
which was alright whilst the girths and straps were tight, but one sad day, wouldn't (wooden ;) ) you know it, the inevitable happened and as confucious says, girl who ride around with both wooden legs glued together with loose girth straps, bound to have ...
...an interesting time. Fortunately, as she was only on a wooden horse, she didn't have far to fall when her girth gave way and landed her on her bonce.
"Oh for Petes sake" said Lotta, I've had enough of the O'Toole. Come on Pussy, lets put on our glad rags and ...
...hang around in bars, pretending to be lumberjacks, perhaps we'll get...
...but before Lotta could finish, Pussy slapped her face.
"Stop it Lotta !" she exclaimed. You're just letting your Michael Palin fantasy overwhelm you again, and you know that nothing good ever comes of that.
Why, don't you remember the last time you got out of control you...
... wanted to put on safari suits, go down to the pier and perform the fish-slapping dance. We only managed to talk you out of it by ...
..making you take the fish and....
..wrap masking tape around it..
... and, oh sorry I was thinking about your pet Gerbil. No what we did with the fish was we whipped up some nice Thai fish cakes and fed them to the ...
Thai fish, so they would....
prostrate themselves on the altar of...
... the 'burning snag' - in other words, my barbeque." All of this was starting to make Roger hungry and also made him wonder if he'd taken too many drugs back in the 60's. He looked around for an exit and, spotting a red door in a nearby tree, he ...
It wasn't my gerbil(I never had one, or wanted, or needed one) :mad: It was your guinea pig you were about to mention you silly boy. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by silentC
Come on Jim, stick with the topic. Are you sure you didn't have a hamster?
He looked around for an exit and, spotting a red door in a nearby tree, he ...
opened it and stepping through found himself in the cockpit of an alien space ship in the midst of a fierce battle with the vogons about the ownership of the copyright to the works of William Shakespeare, who they claimed was much better in the original vogon rather than in English, anyway that bored him to death, so he toddled off to the galley to fix himself a sandwich when...
a wooden ...
...oval...
serving platter filled with....
... peaty ...
...pity patty party pies...
porky pies
... and it was a porky pie that Roger the Cabin Boy had told when he said to the captain:-
"Yer sausage and mash has gone over the side"
It hadn't. What had happened, of course, was ...
Roger had spilled some shellawax on the plate of food and...
through one of those freak occurences caused it to be transported to the galley of an alien spaceship which
..was carrying Fgurgle the triple breasted whoire (remember her?).
Fgurgle looked at the bangers and mash and ...