What's your favourite saying?

SilentC has reminded me of a bouncer incident.

Whilst entering a seedy establishment the bounce was giving the guy in front a hard time. You know the drill, he is going to let you in but wants to feel important. "Tuck your shirt in, not sure those shoes are appropriate etc".
Anyway the guy in front finally gets in and the bouncer starts to open his mouth to give me a hard time, when I said "hey mate you dropped a chromosome". While the muscle bound chap looked around on the ground for his missing chromosome I just walked in.

Don't know if he ever found it..........

'poofteenth'
when you bump the handle to take just a 'mickhair' off the job
'chasing moonbeams'
when you take off a poofteeth and it doesn't do anything and you say to yourself there is no real point in chasing .01mm for a bearing fit.
'spot on bevan'
he is the generic customer or boss who you hand the job, knowing full well that it will work even tho it may be a 'poofteenth' out of tolerance and really can't measure to save his life.

"Like a bought one."

At my old workplace we had a useless apprentice who made it to year five of a four year apprenticeship, hence i called him the fifth year apprentice.

"go a row"

I've never heard of this before, but my friend said it this morning and reckons it means "in the s&%#". as in "go a row of s&%$ houses." As in "in deep trouble" :rolleyes::D

"Rough enough's good enough" when you've shaved the last poofteenth off.

A German visitor recently asked me to explain "Bobs yer uncle" :?

One in my signature....


and for the really FUGLY ... A face like a smacked a&se

Hey There,

I have a few regular ones, that the boys at work sort of get a giggle out of,

'Crowin' like a boy Chook '
Robert's your mothers brother (Bobs your Uncle)
Busy as a one armed Fiddler with a dose of crabs
Trying to make Strawberry Jam out of horse Sh*t
You can't polish a t##d
Portion of urine


HazzaB

Always liked, "So full of it even his eyes are brown"

I don't use it a lot but when I do it's the best way to describe the situation

"a fool and his money were lucky to get together in the first place"

pretty sure it's a WC Fields quote

All over it like a fat kid on a donut
Fits like mum and dad
Aren't there any mirrors in your house? (to people with bad hairdo's or bad dress sense)
You don't have to be dead to be stiff.
Stiffer than a honeymooners richard.

Dry as a limeburner's boot

Dry as a horse's fart

When in a state of misery I like a quote from "the Magic Pudding":

It's worse than warts, it's worse than corns to bare. It's worse than having several quarts of treacle in your hair.


When someone really gets up my nostril:: How would you like the ribosomes stripped from your endoplasmic reticulum?!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by artme

When in a state of misery I like a quote from "the Magic Pudding":

It's worse than warts, it's worse than corns to bare. It's worse than having several quarts of treacle in your hair.


When someone really gets up my nostril:: How would you like the ribosomes stripped from your endoplasmic reticulum?!

---

Will have to remember both of them. Makes you sound very scholarly! :U

For the useless types and things we meet: It's/he's about as useful as a hernia.

"show me your friends and I'll show you your future"

An old Irish immigrant that lived up the road from me said that to me when I was young bloke. Still makes sense :-