the rip in the time continium and managed to.................
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the rip in the time continium and managed to.................
avoid the censor's wooden...
censoring tool, which was in fact a nicley turned piece of walnut and took the shape of.......
a walnut.
Polly became bored with ballskis and the headlines and decided to ...
.. do some modern ballet with a pink tutu and a foil cap, but she needed someone to...
tell her (on pain of death) that her bum didn't look big in the tutu, so..
Everyone told lies.
Because her bum DID look big, no matter which way you looked at it, until she met Ray Martin, and got on the diet of a life time ( this is the umpteenth diet of a life time according to Ray ) so she..............
ate a 2 litre tub of ice cream as comfort food, followed by a packet of tim tams that never runs out, 3 mars bars, and a wooden...
walnut which was all just cold comfort to her as...........
her foil hat was way too big and kept falling down over her ...
... enormous bum. This gave her the appearance of an inverted radio telescope. Locals set up a sign to attract tourists. It read:-
"You've seen the Big Banana, the Big Pineapple and the Big Prawn. Now gaze in wonder upon the galaxy's premier tourist attraction: The Big A*se!"
It didn't work, because ...
there are far, far too many big ar$es in the universe.
Polly decided that it was time that she saw all of the "Big Fruits" of the universe. She grabbed her kit bag, her best mate Ella, filled her space ship up with fuel and took off.
Just past the first bend the space ship ...
crashed straight into the big ....
Quote:
Originally Posted by hovo
... make that the Big Prune.
Rebounding and deflecting off the wrinkly skin of the Big Prune, the space craft - out of control - pounded at warp speed straight through the rip in the space/time continuum.
The entire crew, including (in no particular order): Captain Nemo, Bracegrunt, Seaman Staines, Crabtree, Captain Pugwash, Michelle, Roger, Susan, Polly and her mate Ella (and others too numerous to mention) found themselves sitting around a campfire, dressed in cowboy outfits and eating baked beans.
The smell was appalling. The sound effects were a disgrace and Slim Pickens, wafting his ten-gallon hat backwards and forwards was not amused. He said ...
" More beeeens!!?"