.... flagrantly waving his woody at Wanda the woodwork teachers wooden (pre inflatable) doll who......
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.... flagrantly waving his woody at Wanda the woodwork teachers wooden (pre inflatable) doll who......
came complete with hundreds of patches, from all the little pricks she had received whilst..........
in transit
... lounges of airports all over the country where she was employed in the relief of ...
...cat induced...
...pussyitis, which as we all know can lead to...
...wooden..
..prose.
Suddenly, with a flash and a bang, appeared .....
... said mob of pros ...
who were on their way to Sydney for a Tart's Convention.
THis completely threw Rodger, because ....
his spell checker lead him to believe that a prose convention was a gathering of writers, so he was completely taken off guard when the ugliest pro said to him...
" 'ello darling how about it? " She wasn't a cockney but had been scarred emotionally by being subjected to Dick Van Dyke's chminey sweep accent in Mary Poopins (That's for you Driver). In repsonse to the pro's advance he.....
... replied "no time for the old in and out love, I've come to read the meter." With that he ...
..turned to leave but was confronted by....
... a cardboard replica of a well-known Belgian detective ...
.....in a bad suit...
which was badly and repeatedly stained by Roger's...
squirt gun filled with ...
Semen Stains excess ..
...wooden...
... Dr Jurd's Jungle Juice. The cardboard Poirot (no, that's pwar-row, not poyrot) turned to him and said "Do you like my ...
donger? I use it to ring my bells. It is made of ...
..cardboard, just like moi.
This was getting far too weird for Rodger.
First he had a group of tarts appear from nowhere and start propositioning him. Now, he was having a conversation with a cardboard cutout Poirot!
He really had begun to wonder what was in the cocktail he'd ordered in the departure lounge bar, when suddenly ....
...he was totally unsurprised by the sight of a large, redgum (that's wood you know!) Christmas cake which had beautifully turned and carved....
...nuances..
... reminiscent of the ones possessed by his ex-girlfriend, Lotta. Lotta, whose last name was ... (10 points if you get it right)
..Fagina. She was related to the Galore sisters.
Za Za, Eva and ....
[QUOTE=craigb]..
Za Za, Eva and ....[/QUOT
....the one who had the legendary monstrous....
... wooden ...
leg that she had previously employed to ..
... kick the crap out of anyone who called her "Puss in boot". Pussy Galore did not like people making fun of her name or her wooden leg. She also didn't like people making fun of her ...
...deep dark cavernous...
...shed just because she couldn't afford the latest and greatest Norm type environment.
It was bad enough when Mr O'Toole and his daughter Plenty would come around and scoff at her meagre ...
..beer supply. "We came round herefor a real good....
"droppa plonk" they exclaimed, "and all you offer us is some of this bee's ..."
... p1ss". "Do bees p1ss?", asked Lotta. "Well, if they did, it would taste like this!", exclaimed Mr O'Toole, who was a farmer. Plenty was only his daughter but all the horse ...
...'s made way for her from fear of being......
..saddled up and taken for a ride. For you see, Plenty was a big gal. In fact she was so big it was said that ....
...she could break the family tree. Her sister....
... said her backside had it's own postcode. She said Plenty never went to the beach sunbathing for fear of being rolled into the water by whale-saving greenies. Yes, Plenty was a whole lot of ...