Printable View
... reading the articles - which even in the 70's, following hard as they did on the decade of 'free love', were very interesting - and not for looking at the pictures despite what his wife might think. He removed the bells from his knees and put them on his ...
... handlebars. Mounting his velocipede, he cycled slowly downhill towards the seafront, drawn by a strange compulsion to submerge himself in the ocean.
His progress became slower as he reached the dry sand above the high tide mark. Nothing daunted, he pedalled on (the dickhead - he would have made swifter progress if he had simply dismounted and walked, I mean, what the hell was he going to do with a Victorian bicycle once he reached the water?)
The question became academic because, suddenly ...
he was killed by the sudden reemergence of the good ship (whatever it was called) from that convenient rip in the time space continuum...
However, this story being what it is he was immediately reincarnated into the most handsome of men. And on looking down he was VERY pleased to see (he had been reincarnated in the nude) that he had just about the largest and sexiest looking ...
weapon ever invented. Ahh he recalled, this would have been good back in the days on the good ship Very Little Gravitas Indeed. Those were the days, no french accents and all we had to worry about was werknots cooking and a few Klingons. Admiring his weapon he began to wonder where Roger was, so that he could....
... do something bizarre with the weapon and induce a shift into a parallel universe or another dimension.
As he stood admiringly ...
...his weapon discharged.....
... and that was enough to induce the required shift. He found himself in a strange dimension where the dominant life forms were intransitive verbs. This was such a boring place that it can hold no further interest for this tale.
Meanwhile, back at Medulla Oblongata Beach, the partially-submerged Nautilus lay 50 metres offshore. An enterprising local (whose head was lumpy and bruised) had set up an interesting tourism-inspired business running daytrippers around the sub in his hand-built surf-cat. As he plied his trade ...
the Very Little Gravitas Indeed" suddenly burst to the surface, having risen from the depths of the artificial reef made from GMC power tools. Onboard grinning from wicked ear to ear was all these old skeleton woodies, killed in other episodes. Capt Beaut swaggered forth on the rotting deck and cackled a wicked pirate "aaarrrgggh me woodies" "its the blood of a fair maiden we be needing to become whole again". Whereupon....
the number one could be heard from wherever he was saying "fair maiden?you've got to be joking matey. Now ugly maidens, them we've got by the back of the busload. However, I do have something else that may help you in your (slightly) unusual predicament. Now these were made in (maiden) Russia from virgin gerbils" he said, pulling from an interior cavity (he is still nude) a pair of the largest and reddest .....
russian ballskis from his pouch and dangled them in front of hime like they were........
xmas tree deccies waiting for a good .............
person to take them in hand and give them a good.........
rubbing.
A little girl named Polly walked in and saw the ballskis. Polly grabbed the ...
... the headlines in tabloids throughout the galaxy when she seized the ballskis in her teeth, juggled them one-handed for several seconds prior to flicking them into the air and then kicked them, with supreme accuracy, right through ...