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the hopes of finding something to hunt. However, the chairs were turned when from off to the right who should come galloping up into the story but Sir Alice.
"Ok Sir Alice" spake Michelle, "Piddle off! I'm the sex interest in this story and I'm not having any stupid....."
bimbo's messing around with the story line...So..get outa my car...said the rather miffed Michelle, howver Alice had other ideas and...
just before saying anything a massive Red Cedar tree fell across the front of the car and...
immediatley about 40 woodies came piling out of the pub on Hunter Street that I can't remember the name of..., (where's a Novacastrian when you need one) and ran across to the tree bearing chainsaws, Lucas Mills, foil helmets and....
foot operated band saws. The chopping, cutting , hacking and sawing created such a din that the local environmentalists came bobbed out of the brown building to see what was going on. Seeing the mayhem, they decided to hold a protest ( as you wood) . It was then that the boys working on the tree saw them and turned to.......
Sir Alice and said " if you want any of those sissies just go and help yourself to ......
Doug Mulray who , unfortunately, was deceased.
So it was the spirit of Doug that said "I said jump in my car, not drop a bloody great tree across it"
"Freaking rednecks"
Suddenly, who should appear but Doug Parkinson.
"well said Doug, that was a surprise" ..
each other and started morris dancing, hankies a wavin, bells a jinglin, sticks a stickin..........owwh what merryment was to be had by all.....................................UNTIL.!! ( insert dark nasty music here )......................
the sky went black and an eerie glow settled on the protesters who ...
cowered in terror as the sky blackened and a terrible foreboding came over the group. Just then BraceGrunt (Late as usual) fell out of the pub landing in front of the protesters. The sky cleared immediatley and one of the protesters said "look its the Messiah"
BraceGrunt broke wind and burped simultaneously and said "I am not the bloody messiah" now where is my...
stick, I want to pass, oops part some water.....
... or at least part of me does. Part of me wants to burst into song and another part of me wants to wear women's clothes. However, most of me wants to have a nice lie down somewhere quiet."
Sobbing quietly, he was led away by a bunch of interfering dogooders.
"Right!" said the leading Morris dancer. "That's seems to have satisfactorily eliminated a bunch of snivelling wimps from the plot. Now we can ...
rattle our bells and knock our sticks together as Morris dancers are wont to do.
Dancer one said to dancer two, "Do you not fel like a complete prat?"
To which number one said...
well yes I do, but I was told that I couldn't have one. Do you know where I can get one then? He asked dancer number one.
"ONE of them? Just one? quoth number one "Just go over there" (he pointed) "and have a look behind the steering wheel of that car with all the scratches and stuff all over it.
It was at this point that a strange and errant memory entered the head of number one. Who was he? how did he come to be here dressed in this pratty looking Morris Dancers costume? The last thing he remembered was lots of water everywhere and some bustard trying to ..
...make off with his 1977 copy of playboy, which he carried around everywhere for the specific reason of...