Zed in drag :eek:
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Zed in drag :eek:
... followed by....
Grunt fully clothed.................
being led on a rhinestone studded leash by a trainer of donkeys who in a very gruff voice said 'if you even metion the rhinestone studded leash I will ask Cpt Nemo to.......
allow me to bring my donkeys on board.
Their names are...
the entire crew of the good ship Brisbane.
... which has been converted into a submarine and ....
was lost in the canals of Mountain Creek...
and was found by a local resident in half a canoe as he paddled into the conning tower of the converted submarine. 'Bleeding heck (or words to that effect) I've run into the conning tower of the converted submarine'
with that the half canoe fainted and said to nobody in particular...........
rather foolishly, it turns out, "Bugger me"
Whereupon...
...there was a great booming maritime yell from the quarter deck!
"Belay all them lubberly thoughts, ye swabs!"
It was Long John!
Standing four-square on the windward side of the quarter deck (the commander's side), he presented an imposing figure. His one good eye swept across the crew as they cringed before him.
"Oi'm takin' command of this 'ere vessel," quoth he. "An' Oi'm puttin' a stop to all them peeculiar practices that Oi'm told 'ave been takin' place aboard 'er for far too long. Seaman Staines!"
"Aye, aye, Cap'n!" said Staines (not, it must be said, without a frisson of trepidation. Although, it should also be said, Staines wouldn't know a frisson if it should fasten itself to his pantaloons and follow him about. That's a bit unlikely, of course .... however ....ermm .... moving along, then! Right!)
"Aye, aye, Cap'n!" said Staines.
"You be demoted to cabin boy!" said Long John. "Go and make some coffee and take it to moy cabin!"
Staines shuffled off, a beaten man.
"Lt. Commander Roger (VC and Bar)!" said Long John.
"Aye aye, Cap'n!" said Roger (VC and Bar). (Roger was actually relieved to be relieved of command).
"Can you navigate, lad?" said Long John.
"I can, Cap'n!" said Roger (VC and Bar).
"Roight, laad! You'm the noo navigator! Plot me a course for the Spanish Main by way of Cape Horn. We'll 'ave ourselves a bit of fun!"
Marmaduke Hamster, observing these interesting developments from the taffrail, turned to Hieronymus and said:-
"Pieces of eight, pieces of eight"
"You mark my words Hieronymous, whenever pirates are around, pieces of eight aren't very far behind."
"Yes" said Marmaduke," but what exactly is a piece of eight?"
Hieronymous looked to the fo'cstle and said .....
...Sally closed the book again, looked at the children and asked
"Who can tell me which plot features have been overlooked this time, in this very strange story, children?"
Billy, who had never really liked the Hamsters, was very eager to answer.
He said...
the chickens because they have stopped laying eggges until......