another cabin boy. When we find one we shall call him Ben Dover or Phil Mc cavity or........ They dreamt on whisle travelling through eternal space, then.........
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another cabin boy. When we find one we shall call him Ben Dover or Phil Mc cavity or........ They dreamt on whisle travelling through eternal space, then.........
a sudden gust of wind struck the ship broadside on causing the deck to heel over violently. Ol Mr Swinnger slid from one side of the deck to the other without even spilling a drop. Seamen Staines in the crows nest nearly renamed himself for another type of Stain.
On recovering himself from an embarassing position with Mr Hechnida Captain Beaut roared (as he was apt to do) "Thats it, no more Guiness and Beans for Mr BraceGrunt, effective immediatley". Pondering what else he might feed the first officer Werknot went below to gather some more underpants for which to strain the beans he had prepared earlier.
It was at this time the Giant, decidedly bored with the passage:D played a horrible trick on the crew. Whenever anybody went to speak everything came out Fracterbunt. "Sholy Hit" said Mr BunCraig we've ceen bursed by the Gevil Eiant and his aletion Dax. What the Hriggin Fell are we gonna do now.....
I'm nuffed if I stow said the....
befuddled Wilencee, who actually got his name from an unfortunate misunderstanding between Seamen Staines who was shouting "Violent Seas" and Ol Mr Zwinnger who was a bit under the weather at the time, bit I digress.., was looking around because in all the excitement nobody had actually been steering the Very Little Gravitas Indeed. Wilencee pointed to the land ahead.
"Croly Happers" said the Captain, "its the coast of the sevil Eiren Mylie Kinogue" "quick members, lash me to the main mast so I might hear the ticked wemptresses alluring song, then tuff your sears with hitshot wax so you are not doomed".
The crew rushed about and stuffed their ears with wax and....
rubbed their exposed bits with Shellwax cream and grinning lavisciously at Capt Ubeaut's evergrowing predicament:eek:
immediately sat down to a scrumptious 4 course meal of left over deserts provided by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Retired Harlots and Haridans, (duly affiliated with the Council of Trades Union). The table was headed by Charlotte, who at the venerable age of 101 years, still ate someones meat at every available opportunity and was at this moment helping herself to the cabin ..
...boys salami, she was a glutton for sausage and ....
... the sight of a wiener drove her to fits of ecstasy. Sauerkraut, she could take or leave. Meanwhile, Mylie... err Kylie was ...
was torturing the crew with her...
..warbling. The twentyseven backing dancers all prancing around in skin tight lycra didn't help either.
"Shpare me daysh" slurred Mr Zwinnger. "it'll be a miracle if we get out alive".
Suddenly ...
BraceGrunt, who had not been following Captain Beauts orders about the Guiness and Beans let another rip......
this did not make a lot of noise but man did it make their eyes water.......
...and create a dangerous gaseous situation. The cabin boy reached into his pocket and took out his hanky to block the effect. Unfortunately he also pulled out his cigar igniter which fell to the floor in a most unfortunate manner creating a spark which...
( I thought the cabin boy went overboard???)
which blew the gusset out of his baggy pants. In addition he also sustained severe flash burns to his nether regions which made........
a singed silouette on the doorway...