Sir!! You are drunk said Mss M. to which MR M replyed.
All together now.....................................
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Sir!! You are drunk said Mss M. to which MR M replyed.
All together now.....................................
Madam I am drunk and you are ugly, tomorrow I shall be sober, and you will still be ugly.
Your Future King, Charles
now then who is for pancakes for a light supper? said the Chef Roger de Crisper as he lit the ..........
.. The gas stove.
Miss Marples said "scuse me chaps I hear the call of nature and walked around the corner towards the Ladies loo but went through the rip in the fabric of the universe by mistake.
Her adventures there can be followed by going here
... portable, lightweight travelling barbie that he, like Mr M, kept conveniently to hand under his hat. There was a loud noise:-
"WHOOMP!"
Followed by a billowing cloud of smoke and a short scream from Chef Roger:-
"EEK!"
... as he realised his carefully coiffed and slicked down comb-over hairstyle was blazing cheerfully away atop his scone. People were warming their hands at its merry winter glow.
"Gerroff!" he yelled, slapping their hands away. "Me 'eads on fire!"
"Well," said Miss Marple. "I must say...."
Morning Mr M, that was one weird dream, 9 hours, it must have all happened in my sleep.
Hmm what to have for breakfast?
So off Miss M and Mr M went to find the dinning car...
Haveing found that the dining car had been sold as scrap to Ozwinsky dureing the night, they both settled down to roast marshmellows cooked over a kero flame.....................hmmmm, yum..................
"Tickets please".....
"Tickets Please".....
"Tickets Please" ......
Said the ticket collector, but wait.........
"Ticks Fleas" .....
"Ticks Fleas" .....
"Ticks Fleas" .....
Said the ticket collector as he itched his way down the corridor. Carefully Miss M and Mr M moved on to find ................
a three headed ticket collector.................
... with no arms and only one leg. He was waiting to board the train.
The guard said:-
"Hello, hello, hello, you look 'armless. Hop on!"
Boom, boom!
But the train was going soooo fast he didnt get on board.
Just as well, as Mr M was looking for such a man in connection to oodles of crimes......................
He is non other than ( insert dramitic music here ) the "Noodle maker From Oodnadater"............
Bluey "Wongo" Anstruther.Quote:
Originally Posted by ozwinner
"Well bugger me" said ......
.... the troll as it slipped through the rip ....
... and found himself in a QANTAS club lounge,
in Brisbane!!
Now he had to think fast, how was he to get back to his proper thread, there's a flight to Singapore leaving in a few minutes, perhaps he could ....
crawl inside a boogy board bag and...........
hope the rip was in there. Meanwhile Miss Marple popped back from her side trip thru the rip and said......"bugger me thats odd" and no sooner had she said that when the knicker-hatted terpsichorean troupe appeared in the dining car. With that a..............
Finnair Stewardess appeared as if from nowhere, with a great big smile she welcomed them, and escorted them to the very front of the plane.
The troll smiled, he knew that in less than half a day, he would be home and then....
he would be able to have fresh goat for dinner at the Under The Bridge resturant complete with a side serve of......
Having been seated in the front of the plane, Mr M looked for the steering wheel.
He had never driven a plane before, but now was his chance to try
"I wonder what this does?" thought Mr M, as he pulled a large red lever.
He wasn't left to wonder for long. The ejector seat cartridges exploded and propelled him through the canopy and into the stratosphere.
"Dear me!" said Miss M. "That's ....
an uplifting experience for him. What's this button, what's this button, what's this button 'ere for?"
the ejector seat cartridges under her seat exploded, and Ms M joined Mr M in the stratosphere. "Damm!!!" said Ms M, and then...............
just when you thought the "story" couldn't get any sillier, it did. Because....
... as Mr M's parachute deployed and he began a gentle descent earthwards, Ms M landed in his lap. He was not only startled but also puzzled.
"I'm not only startled but also puzzled," he said (to no-one's great surprise). "Why on earth ...."
"We're not on the Earth, technically Mr M. More to the point, is that a gun in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?"
"It's not a gun it's...
... a Bavarian Weissporkerschwarben sausage that I've been saving for a special occasion!"
Well," said Ms M. "I find it hard to imagine a more special occasion than this. Whip it out, laddie and let's have a slice!"
With that....
...they came to a stop with a sickening thud. "I was expecting that to happen, but not so soon - I'd have thought it would take much longer to fall from the stratosphere, which is, after all, rather a long way up" said Mr M.
"We haven't hit the ground, you silly man, " said Miss M. "we've landed on ...
the space shuttle, and we are about to make re-entry, I hope your hat is fire proof??
Mr M immediately clapped his hand across his (Bavarian) sausage. With a swift appraising glance, he took in their situation. It wasn't real good. They were poised on the top of the Shuttle, just fo'rard of the tailplane structure.
He realised that there wasn't a great deal they could do to improve things. He took a bite out of his sausage and offered the rest to Ms M...
.. who took it and stared at it. Slapping her head, she exclaimed "of course"!!
"Mmmff what, Miff M.?" asked Mr M.
"Of course, how silly of me. Remember when I was a counter agent during the war? They taught us all of the secrets of espionage, and one of the tricks was how to make explosives from Bavarian Weissporkerschwarben sausage. If I do this, and then this, and then twist this bit like that. There! Now we can blow open the cargo bay doors and...
... there was a tearing sound. The Rip parted and who should materialise alongside the geriatric adventurers? None other than everyone's favourite pommy agent masquerading as a French gendarme: Crabtree.
"Good moaning!" he said. "Beffure yew utilose thit soosage to blee open the curgo boo dears, you should know thit...."
.. a gude frond of moon had a greet dole of trible with some pod bay doors foor or so yars agoo... maybe you shood tree nicking on the woondow?
"What on earth is this idiot saying?" said Mr M.
"Well,' said Ms M. "He seems to be attempting to communicate with us in extremely poor French, for reasons I can't explain."
"Oh!" said the Captoon. "You're English! That's a relief..."
Why it was a relief didn't become apparent because, as the words left his lips, Crabtree rather rashly let go of the bit of the Shuttle to which he had been clinging. He was instantly swept off the fuselage and into the heavyweight glider's slipstream.
"Oh!" said Ms M. "That's ...."
But no one answered, so they went round to the back door, and found the fly wire door ajar....................
Which to our two detectives was very mysterious. So they ............
set up their deck chairs as the weather in Florida didnt suit a landing today.
The intrepid detectives will have to wait until all the baggy skins in Florida had their deck chairs set at the right angle for viewing.
Mean while, back on the plane......................