The Rip in the Fabric of the Universe ...

foil doiley maker who .....

liked loiter around gay bars in his tu-tu and foily waiting for ...

a gay blade with a rapier wit and the ability to foil his way into.........

the past. Oh... the past... that lost lustre of youth where a foily was more than a hat but rather "special tobacco" to be had from the local craporium dealer for approx $15-20....

for a joint and $50 for a full bong. However this method of mind relaxation did not retract from the fact that the rip in the fabric of the universe has still not been repaired. Why is it left the way it is so any creature can jump in and out ?? Maybe some real good rip roaring rip repaire glue ( not to be sniffed) can............

be used as duck tape was tried but it only prevented ducks coming in and out.
A quick trip to Rolly Taskers to pick up some ripstop fabric proved fruitless as it was only suitable for.............

...subduing diaorreah...

but not on this BB...........

because it continues to flow like....

... the hamsters incessant chatter. Murgatoyd come here quickly and look at this .......

Murgatroyd sidled across. He was one of the more suave and cosmopolitan of the hamsters - less inclined than the rest to be overly impressed.

However, one swift and searching glance at the rip in the fabric of the universe told him that here was something that required serious consideration.

"Montmorency!" he exclaimed. "Fetch me my Paslode nail gin and fire up the hide glue pot!"

With that ...

they began to repair the rip in the fabric of the universe. Little did they know that....

..the rip was in fact the rectum of a terrestrial being of enormous size and upon feeling the repair work begin....

the terrestial being thought he had bent over to pick up 20c in Oxford St..............

.. whereas he was actually standing erect.
Just then one of the hamsters looked up and saw the T.B's huge appendage and called out to the other hamsters......,

It's mine I saw it first, to which they replied.....

"Nuts that size will get us through many many winters" Just then the giant being let one rip through the rip in the fabric etc. The hampsters looked and listned in awe and one said holding his nose " Lads, we have just witnessed the origin of the rip in the fabric of the underpants" Just then one of the hampsters lit his pipe and......

... in the olden days we would fix that real easy by just....

breaking into song. With that the lead hampster started singing Kumbya...

http://www.humanzee.pwp.blueyonder.c...stersinger.jpg

while the others went through the pantomine of a bricklayer wearing a .......

pair of stubies and a pair of blunies.

Waldorf couldn't take it anymore. He decided that he was going to kick the living-sheet out of the rest of the hamsters for singing Kumbya again.


http://shotokancrsa.com/hamster.jpg

Having kicked the sheets out of the rest he found himself very alone and no one to talk to. He started to day dream about what it would be like not to be in charge all the time and having to make all the decisions. Just then the Torn Fabric Fairy appeared and said " Now look here you little furry...........

...imitation of a rabbit, I have a good mind to coat you in Paklistani slime and dissolve all of your ....,.

cricket balls, this had him stumped anf he..................

... promptly walked, without even a glance in the umpire's direction.

This was a pity, for had he undertaken such a glance, he would have realised that the umpire was, in fact, the ...

King Hampster!! The fool, he should have looked and not walked. He gave great thought to......

... a rather simple matter as he walked past the rip .. but a hand shot out from the gap and pulled him into ....

the anti hampster warp where the s' respmah were all back to front and upside down.
( In reverse language) the captive hampster said " Bugger me! the rip is still torn, when will they........

make the edges smoother so we can slide in and out without scratching our butts and whatevers. Since the last posting the edges appear to have been smoothed and lo and behold who should slither through the tear but our old nemesis.......

... the Captain, gazing all around and holding tightly onto his....

sanity. All the while he was missing his time on the silent sea. SO HE ...

...hoisted up his pantaloons; carefully arranged his accoutrements - buffed as they were to a shining perfection after liberal application of handfuls of MFKL - and, stepping nimbly forth onto the poop deck ...

slipped over and.....

fell in all the poop on the deck. " Goodness me " he said flicking the .........

poop off his boot and back onto the deck, that was a slippery fresh one, and, although it looks like hamster poop it was actually guinea pig poop which has similar qualities but is of a slightly different texture.
Theres an imposter aboard he roared.................

... Bring me my sword!", he roared.
And, at this, a horde
Of superficially bored
But understandably awed . . .(Bugger - wrong thread!) . . crewmen brought him his cutlass and he ...

He sood, in a voory manly voice "I cun noot beloove this throod is still running"


Al :D :o

... meanwhile below decks the hamsters were busily making foily caps to sell at ....

the annual hamster fest, which is held every year at

Hamsterdam in Olland..................