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When new day dawned twas bright and clear.
Perhaps egged on by many a cheer
(well two at least, from Oz and )
The three arose to once again
enjoy the company of men,
the threats from Zed not worth two bob... oh.
Despite the dangers ever present
They breakfasted in sunshine pleasant
Then in work they all sought consolation
In Towns so widely separated
how could they all be castigated?
How could they avoid stern reprobation?
Of course, thought Zed,
He shook his head,
Why did it not occur to me before?
The woodworker's ball is where I'll get,
Revenge upon these mongrels yet,
I'll fix them so they torment me no more.
I'll offer each of them a muffin,
Made with extra poison stuffing,
I've got a packet left over from last year.
One bite each is all they'll need,
I'll watch these wicked bastards bleed,
My laughter will be the last sound that they hear.
The problem will be,
For the bold young Zeddy,
How to pin down all three of these bastards.
Only one of the three:
To whit, SilentC
Had he met over muffins and custard (?)
Of the midge and the bear,
He had never a hair
Or a hide even spotted or seen.
So the Woodworkers Ball
In the end mightn't be all
That he'd hope for as a vengeful scene.
(Further stanzas today
From this bard in WA
Will be missing, I have to inform you.
For I'm off to the bush
In a bloody great rush.
'Til tomorrow, I'll have to say: "Hoo Roo!")
Was it Muffins he'd use?
So to heaven they'd cruise,
Surely he had to be kidding.
He'd need help of course,
Recruit innocent(?) Oz,
On eBay to do secret bidding,
But let's not yet forget
that very safe bet,
conspiring in his crapatorium
that Oz started this thread
to see us all dead
so he'd be the sole Empororium.
So the truth is now clear,
That OzWinner we fear,
Is the root and cause of this trouble.
By starting this thread,
He wished us all dead,
So our toys he could sift from the rubble.
To steal them away,
To his store where folks pay,
For stuff they did not know they needed.
But we've caught him off guard,
His plan he'll discard,
And we'll make sure he reaps what he seeded.
How stupid we've been
having failed to have seen
The obvious clues though so teeny.
We should never trust anyone,
getting his fun
from wearing a tinfoily beanie
The corpses he has, hanging high from the ceiling
His missus though naked, appealing
To customers, woodies, a turner or three,
who enter in hope of buying our things
but never come out without haloes and wings.
It's time to take action, to shake up his tree.
The first thing to do,
Is establish it's true,
That 'twas Al and no other sinner,
Who posted the thread,
That wishes us dead,
In the name of the junkman - OzWinner.
The first one to see,
The jig maker, Sturdee,
Who went to his place of trade.
But what did he find?,
Al was gone, left behind -
Only she who must be obeyed.
The borer of wood,
Is the next one who could,
Shed light on the truth or the lie.
But he tells a tale,
Of rituals strange,
And Al wearing a bow tie!
If he innocent be,
then why would he flee
From Sturdee the kindly Jigmaker,
And why build a sander
to soften his hands eh,
or to remove prints from his fingers, the faker?
Twas not I went up the cry
For I am a kindly cr&p dealer
Tho' I wear the bow tie
And sometimes the foil
I sometimes feel like a Sheila
Sometimes on morn'
Sometimes at night
But when I look in the mirror
Tis always with fright
For I am one ugly MF
( didnt rhyme I know :o )
Oh dear how much gall!
Perhaps now we all
can see through his dastardly plot.
His conniving and scheming
all the while seeming
that planning to have us all shot
will bring him undone
when his bastard son
(Sir ) strangles his 'pilla.
He'll turn it all red
till it's good and dead
Like the bricky Oz did, he's the killer!
Aha! There's a clue,
Could it really be true,
That the Junkman was ever a bricky?
I put it to you,
That one of the two,
Is trying to take the mickey.
Did the junkman lay bricks,
Or does he play tricks,
By pretending to be our mate Al?
Could the junkman have been,
Someone new to the scene?
If so, what has he done with our pal?
I find it hard to believe
That Al would deceive
All his mates on the Woodworkers' For-ee-um.
Therefore it must be,
It's quite plain to see,
An imposter has accessed the Craporium.
We can't let this lie.
But you two, and I
Are remote from the scene of the swap.
We need someone in Vic
To get round there right quick
And restore Al to ownership of his shop.
Well I never did!
For just a few quid
I'll catch a plane to the South.
Can't get there this week
I'm right up the creek
and that's from the Cup horses mouth.
So I'll fly in from Sydney
Good old Steak and Kidney
and drive in a hire car down.
I'll see for myself
if all of this stealth
should give rise to us wearing a frown.
(Dr Seuss has a lot to answer for!)
Goodonya, Sir Midge!
If you’re ridgey-didge
About rescuing Al from his captor.
Make sure that you’re wary
It could get quite hairy
So move less like a midge than a raptor!
Our mate, SilentC
Can prob’ly help thee
Now he’s grown bloody great talons.
In a serious blue
He’d be more use than you
With his beak and superior balance (Jeez!!) :D
So I urge you to think
Over this evening’s drink
Of diverting from off the Hume Highway
While en route down to Vic
Give that road the flick
Take the coast road, an int’resting by-way.
For then you can reach
Into Pambula Beach
Where resides our good ol’ mate Silent
Take him with you, I urge.
Pick him up from the verge.
Take him with you. He’ll be much more violent
‘Gainst the usurping bugger
Who has replaced the figure
Of Al, our good mate Ozwinner.
When you’ve finished the deed
You can then proceed
To Flemington. Eh! Come in Spinner!
I can just see you on siteQuote:
Originally Posted by bitingmidge
all shiney and bright
with hard hat on head
all white and shiney with stipes a red