Young adults at home

Slightly off-topic, I visited some friends yesterday (I built their house) who have a son and daghter, both still at school. My friends are retired, having sold their business for many millions of dollars. Son wanted money for a motorbike and was told he would have to get a job and save for it. Mum or dad will spend more on fuel than the son makes at his job, in order to drive him to and from work. Theyre adamant that they want the kids to grow up with a good work ethic and feeling responsible.

Mick

I still live at home with my Mum. I don't pay board or do any chores.

Life is good. :U

I couldn't wait to get on my own. Left home at 18 and joined the Air Force. Never looked back.

Now my son--at home until 20, out, back home at 22, out at 23, back at 24. Finally took a page from Midge and sold up and moved 2500 Kliks.

He'd probably take my full pension to support him! :wink:

Forget teaching lessons about life.

Enjoy them while they are there, soon enough they will have moved on.

:D

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Originally Posted by Bleedin Thumb

LOL:D more fool you. Bet you never lent him any money again.:p

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perzackly. :cool:

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Originally Posted by KevM

Mike,
Were you only 14 when you left school??

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G'day Kev. No had just turned 15. The boss was still working in LSD (kept his money in a monstrous old safe in the basement). Was an old Pom. I think I got my first decimal currency pay about 3 months after I started.
Cheers

PS: Did you have a good xmas and new year. Was santa heavily laden with things for your shed?

When I split with the 1st wife I paid $100 per child per week in maintenance (and why I lived in a caravan for 10 years). I guess I am now used to it and base my current rules on that $100.

My kids are now all over 18 but still studying or want to. I give them 4 options:

1. Study full time and live independently - I give them $100 per week to help out.
2. Study full time and live with me - I support them and charge them no board, but they must pay for their entertainment (going out, phones etc) and hence have to get a part time job.
3. Work full time and live with me - they pay me $100 per week board and pay for their own entertainment.
4. Work full time and live independently - they are on there own.

My youngest (18) is on option 2, but considering option 1.
My 2nd (20) lives in Sydney on option 4, but considering option 3 until he gets into the action uni he wants, then will go for option 1 (no suitable uni's near me). He considers option 3 a good deal and a lot cheaper than option 4.
My eldest (22) lived independently in WA on option 1, but has decided to take a year off, hence now on option 4.

I am really lucky in as much as all my kids have good head on their shoulders, are independent and even more important, do not expect a free ride.

No kids but have had 5 foster kids.

First mob we felt they'd done it hard enough asked for nothing paid for everything. One of them pulled weight worked at job, helped out moved out with her partner :2tsup: . Others did SFA. When we got sick of it they picked up and left.

Now we provide room, board, education, bus fare and lunch money. You want anything else your problem. Working so far.

Other key lesson we learned: they must do something productive. Have a job, work at education. One lad with ADD was productive by doing shopping cooking cleaning. Once they get used to sleeping in to 3 and staying out to 3 you're stuffed (so how do I know...)

good luck

This thread has been very helpful, thank you all.

Final decision (discussed and agreed) was

• $15 per day for each day worked. If there is no work available he is not required to pay.
• max $75 per week.
• Any overtime is his, to encourage him to work harder.
• If he decides to have a working day off that is counted as a working day.
• He pays for his entertainment.

I was going to reduce it a bit because we get the family allowance, however we have to pay that back anyway because he is working so I canned that idea.

Anyway, agreement was finally reached.

Now if I can just get him to do his chores around the house....

G'day Groogy,

That seems like a very good solution you guys nutted out. I am glad you weren't as harsh as some have said, but definately not as softand disgraceful as the you tube daughter with the new car that was the "wrong colour".

As long as he has a good head on his shoulders and a good work ethic (contingencies if he decides to only work 1 shift a week/fortnight???) then he will have good knowledge and respect for saving and also a little of what it is like in the world of indepance.

FWIW I was fully supported until I finished studying (19 1/2) but from the time I left school all of my extras - going out, buying magazines, eating out etc were up to me. When I finished studying a got full time employment I started paying 10% board and started to buy my clothes etc.
My parents bought my 1st car but I had to pay all other costs, rego insurance on costs.

I had it pretty good, but at the same time I had a good sense of the value of money from an early age. I didn't go out much and when I did it usually wasn't expensive. I was also able to save and when 20 had bought my hot rod and payed off the loan.

I was very fortunate to have parents so willing to help me out and support me through my childhood - but I am also very aware that if I didn't value it and was disrespectful of what they were doing for me, a lot of things would have been different about how they gave that support.
When my 4yo gets to any age where she takes what she has for granted, then things will change. We will give her everything we can but if it starts to affect her view of how the "real world" goes about life, or she starts becoming a princess, things will change VERY rapidly.

Shannon, I saw the youtube video too and thought "some poor guy is going to marry that one day" (~shudder~). Every birthday, Christmas, anniversary is going to be hell. The parents should have taken the car back and told her to buy one for herself :rolleyes:.

Contingencies are covered "If he decides to have a working day off that is counted as a working day.". Basically the intent of that is to not penalise him if there is no work available, but if he takes a day off then he still pays board.

I am lucky with my kids, but striking a fair balance occasionally means looking around at what others are doing.

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Originally Posted by Groggy

.....
Now if I can just get him to do his chores around the house....

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Hi Groggy,
Sounds like a good agreement there.

No chores done = no food, no tv, no using the car, no .... nothing . Works well around here sometimes :D


cheers
Wendy

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Originally Posted by rufflyrustic

No chores done = no food, no tv, no using the car, no .... nothing . Works well around here sometimes :D


cheers
Wendy

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This is for HWMBO Wendy? :wink::p

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This is for HWMBO Wendy?

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Isn't it HWMO?

Gday guys,

I'm twenty years old, moved out when I was 17, about 6 months after highschool. Those 6 months were spenty recuperating from a nasty Downhill Mountainbike crash that I had, and I didn't have to pay board (wasn't working much due to not being able to walk). As soon as I was healthy enough, my old man hit me up for board. I wasn't keen on paying board for something I'd had all my life, so I moved out.

I was no freeloader, and I definitely new the value of money and knew what it cost to look after me. They also knew of my goals (own my own house...or should I say mortgage...by the time I was 21) but were adament I pay up anyway.

I ended up owning my own house at 19, along with two businesses. I have no doubt in my mind I still would have achieved what I have, had I stayed at home and my old man shouted me a car etc...these are your kids, look after them!

But then again if he is a disrespectful little punk, put him out on the street to fend for himself.

Yep, those are the rules for HWMNBO and his girls. As for him being HWMO - not a chance :(( :doh:

Ah well.



Jonno L - it's very interesting to hear your viewpoint and perspective. Congrats on achieving what you have and what you will have/do.:2tsup:

I too, wouldn't have come as far as I have if I'd stayed at home.

Cheers
Wendy