Or being care free don't care as long as its free, ( my inlaws)
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Or being care free don't care as long as its free, ( my inlaws)
On the floor of an elevator in Melb Research Institute. "Schindlers Lift"
Slogan for Otis Elevators " We never let you down"
On a butcher where I lived in Brookline Mass. on Beacon Street
"Beacon Kosher" Everytime I saw it I'd double take, thinking it said "Bacon Kosher"
On a door at St George's in Sydney " This door is alarmed at Six...but really terrified at Seven"
It's a wigwam for a gooses bridle..... said by my father when asked by one of us kids about something he did not think we needed to know.
So thirsty I could suck a golf ball through a garden hose...... my fathers uncle.
That pothole is so big you need a cut lunch to get out of it.... someone
You sit that close to the telly and you will end up with square eyes! ..... my mum
Schindler actually is an elevator company. There are plenty of Schindler's Lifts in Sydney, our office has three.Quote:
On the floor of an elevator in Melb Research Institute. "Schindlers Lift"
Another famous (but maybe dubious) Churchill quote was:
Some woman: "Winston, if you were my husband, I should give you poison".
Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it".
Mark Twain produced some beauties.
http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Mark_Twain/
"Flash as a rat with a gold tooth"
'
"That so far ya need a sixpack and a cut lunch to get there"
"youre entitled to any opinion ya like as long as it the same as mine"
these two get used regulary and at a staff meeting i replied
"its running like the well oiled machine that it is" to how youre section going?:cool:
usually i just reply "cool"
and i think henry ford once said "you can have it in any colour you like as long as its
black"????
"coundnt give a fat rats clacker"
If you haven'y checked out http://despair.com/viewall.html, do yourself a favour.
A couple of samples
It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
For every winner there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.
How unattractive is she? "Well, you could throw her in a pond and skim off ugly all day."
On W.C. Fields' grave marker: "On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."
W.C Fields, on his deathbed, replied to friends who asked why he (a well-known atheist) was reading the Bible - "Looking for loopholes"
Two quotes from a much respected and now deceased metalwork tutor:
Of a difficult piece of steel:
"As hard as goat's knees".
And while sharpening a tool on an a grinder, without goggles:
" It hardens the eyeballs".
Cheers,
ROB NZ
Love it!Quote:
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
Full as a dribblers flute
Full as a fat ladies undies
A mate used one on the job this mornin', " That's as close as F#$k is to swearin"
the ends justify the means (or more literally, one must consider the final result)
niccolo machiavelli
During hardie 1000 at bathurst, camera panning to following D Johnstons greenstuff charge up the hill.
"see Dick heads up the mountain"
almost instantaneously same camera settles on bunch of yobbos' carriyng on at the top of the hill.
No comment from Darryl for at least 20 seconds afterwards:D .
When riding along on the third leg of the Tom Quilty Endurance Ride. Some one comented that the terrain was surprisingly steep and my father replied......
Up an' down like a new brides nighty!
Flat out like a lizard drinking
As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Heard on the Channel 10 news after an Easter break..... "Traffic congestion on the Gold Coast to Brisbane road, can be reduced if everyone staggers their departure times".
Jim
All over the place like a mad womans breakfast.
As mad as a cut snake.
As reliable as a two bob watch.
As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.
As useful as tits on a bull.
As dry as a pommies towel
Fair suck of the savaloy mate put a cork in it!
...off like Annie's knickers.
Heard in most Aussie family cars on Holiday,
..."Are we there yet?''
Off like a bucket of prawns in the sun.
Bangs like a dunny door.
He's a sandwich short of a cut lunch
He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock
He's not the sharpest tool in the shed
...god there are so many of them,
mr gibbs (p.o.t.c 2 )
"heave, heave like your being payed for it"
Well aren't you the most adorable black hole of need ... when talking about a 13 year old girl.
I would love to help you out, can you show me where you came in? ...... Unwanted vagrants in your life.
Just spotted this in another post on the forum and had a quiet chuckle: "It's not the stick that's at fault; it's the monkey at the end of it."
youre a wave short of a shipwreck to a not so bright offsider his reply but we aren't on water.............I gave up
Pete
'The lights are on but nobody's home'
more useless than a condom vending machine in the vatican.
There are promises and then there are core promises...J. Howard
Couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat...Yabba on the SCG hill telling the batsman he didn't score.
Nothing gives me the s**ts and this is the closest thing to nothing I have ever seen...a mate of mine
I am so hungry i could eat a horse then chase the rider...my dad
It's so windy it would blow a brown dog off a chain...no attribute
Flat as a sh#t carters hat
Or "couldn't catch a cold!"
When someone says "If only":
Barracker to a prelim boxer at the old Sydney Stadium (the tin shed):
Don't give up now, keep hittin' him with yer handbag.
Thick as two bricks end on
He's like a 240 volt lamp in a 10 volt socket a tad dim
Honestly its only a cold sore
Like a one armed paper hanger with an itchy #####
lower than a snakes belly in a wagon rut
A promise from him isn't worth the paper it isn't written on :D
They call him Opium because he's a slow working dope
They call his mate Draino - clean around the bend.
"Trust Me"
(soon as I hear that I start counting me fingers) :eek:
Like a rat up a drain pipe ......
Straight as a dogs hind leg ..........
Got a head like an "A" Frame attic----dark and empty
"Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition"
(Samuel Pepys)
"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to."
(Mark Twain)
Overheard at a local field day about another cockies wife, 'she talks more than a pub parrot'.