SWMBO has departed this mortal coil

Bob

What can I say that has not already been said by so many people and probably thought by many times that number. I had no idea your wife had passed until Matt alerted me. While nobody escapes this event, there is never a good time and arguably never a good way, but if it has to happen it should be quick: Not long, drawn out and full of misery and suffering by the individual and all around. This way your memories are good and untainted by a slide.

I remember you telling me of her keen interest in horses and from your earlier post she clearly had many interests: All these things will remain stong in your memories. Time is a healer, but in the meantime be there with your family and cherish her memory.

So sorry.

Regards
Paul

I'm sorry to hear this, Bob.
Geoff.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mr Brush

Very sorry to hear this sad news. At times like this, I find the words of another splendid old bugger to be of some comfort,

“No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life is only the core of their actual existence.” - Terry Pratchett

Treasure the memories.

---

Thanks for this. The Pratchettism is playing out with the torrent of messages etc from people she touched including many I did not know. Not having any daughters she adopted all her nieces as daughters and treated them as such and I did not realize how much she had done that until now.

Sorry to hear of your loss, Bob. It brought home to me just how much I would miss my own dear partner of 52 years.
Your advice to say all those things now that you always mean to say and never get around to it, is something we should all take to heart.
Pete

My deepest sympathy Bob; I can't comprehend what you're going through at this time.

Forumites are like an extended family and we will all support you in any way we can.

Ian

I am saddened to hear of your great loss.

You will be in my thoughts over the coming days.

Neil

Thanks everyone for your replies.

Organising Amanda's memorial service is partially distracting but also keeps reminding me of “stuff”
Were following Amanda's wishes and having a no-attendance cremation and an informal memorial celebration at the South Perth swan river Foreshore in a couple of weeks time.
My family friends and the neighbours have been supportive -I’ve got dinner invites for a month and a weeks worth of cooked food in the fridge but I wander the house aimless looking at Amanda's arts and crafts, and memorabilia and muttering "why now”? I do have heaps of treasured memories that I just need to keep referring to.

Sorry for your loss. Great to hear you have the support from family, friends & neighbours

Bob, mate, hang in there the road ahead looks pretty dreary at present, the loss of the love of your life must be bloody hard. I dont envy you looking at all her gear/stuff/memories, they can stay for ages, you will know when its time.

I never really know what to say in these sort of situations mate. Really sorry to hear Bob.

My sincere condolences to you Bob, in this moment of grief.

Jim

My Condolences to you and your family Bob.

Sad news Bob. The closer the relationship the greater the pain. All the best as you make your way through this.

Sorry to hear of your immense loss Bob
Dreadful news
Wishing you all the best during what is difficult time

Log Dog

Sorry to hear of your sudden loss, hopefully time will help you.

Mick.

Very sorry to hear of your loss Bob. Keep talking with your family and friends and hopefully that will keep your mind occupied, but unfortunately your alone times will be the hard ones when you were so close. Only time will heal.

It's all been said Bob I have only known you from this platform and have liked what I've read ,feeling your loss.

Hello Bob

My deepest condolences on the passing of Amanda.

Warm regards - Neil :C

Very sorry to hear this Bob. There's probably nothing we can say now to ease the pain, but you should know that if there's any time you need to chat to any of us, we're here.

My most sincere condolences to you & your family in this time of sorrow Bob.When we lose someone we hold dear ,we are left with memories of heartfelt moments shared in the times we shared together with so much joy in life.That's the glue that binds us in life as well as in death .
R.I.P Amanda

Yesterday was fairly hectic. A dog walk, a trip to the library to drop of Amandas books, then the Op Shop to drop off a bunch of stuff,.
Most of this stuff which was already earmarked by Amanda for disposal but I did fill the boxes up from the overwhelming supply of bric-a-brac (Amanda was a bit of a hoarder) around the hose. Why she had to have more than 2 dozen plastic water bottles is beyond me.
Then a succession of friends visited and about a dozen phone calls. At 7:30pm I was wondering why I had a sore throat and then realized I had been chatting with friends for more than 9 hours. Today is lining up to be a similar one. Every time a bad memory surfaces I try to think of the many good ones - it's sort of working.

I am so sorry. <3

My deepest condolences to you and your family Bob.
There are no words for a loss this great.

Our thoughts are with you.

Ben.

I only just saw this. I am so, so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you Bob in this difficult time. She was obviously a wonderful partner and you can cherish the beautiful moments you had together.

Jane

I am so sorry to hear that Bob.

My sincerest condolences, Bob.

my sincerest condolences Bob.

Dear Bob.

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this very difficult time. I’m shedding a tear with you now as I remember my loved ones that have left before me.
Time will help you find understanding and happiness once again.

I wish you much peace.

Pete.

Going thru some old photos and found two copies of this one in a poster tube that I was just about to throw out.
I had seen it before but thought it was lost.
This was taken the year before we met.
Amanda was every bit and more as alluring, cheeky, quirky, and enigmatic, and many other things that words simply cannot describe, but are somehow captured by this photo.
I framed the photos and given one to my son.
Attachment 519171

Bob,

I know how you feel and what your going through.
I remember your kind words when my wife died.
I'm a bit late in responding, but since my wife died things aren't quite the same.
Time seems to pass different, sometimes quicker, sometimes slower.
I haven't checked in here for a while.
My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

Keith
aka verawood

Only just became aware of this Bob, I hope the pain eases soon and leaves you to concentrate on the happy memories.

Hi BobL
I log on after 2 or so weeks absence and am greeted with this

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BobL

Yesterday around lunchtime SWMNLBO suffered an aneurism followed by a heart attack and she passed away at 7:30 pm last night.

She was only 67 and had suffered badly from severe vertigo for the last ~3 years which added to some mental illness issues and she became quite limited in what she was able to do eg could not drive. Over the last 6 months she had got some help with the mental illness and it seemed to be working cause she had just started driving short distances. We even started making some tentative plans but then . . . . .this.

One of the worst things I'm feeling is the regrets of what I never quite got around to telling her. Tell your loved ones those things now.

---

I don't really know what to say -- apart from offering my very sincere condolences, albeit two weeks after her passing.


treasure the memories of your years together;
don't be shy about imposing somewhat on your kids and other rellies;


but most importantly, don't retreat into your shed and grieve for the rest of your life.



.
.
.

Mate, I am saddened to hear, I wish you all the best on the journey ahead.

regards

Bob,
I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve been away from the forum for ages and came back to the sad announcement of your wife’s passing.
It must have been a terrible shock. It sounds like you had a great marriage. Remember the good times and try to keep busy in the workshop.
Chris

Yesterday was Amanda’s celebration of life ceremony.
We gathered at a local park directly across the Swan River from the city of Perth,
I chose this place because every morning we walked our two Border Collies along this section of park - the dogs were also present.

Showers were forecast so we set up 5 3x3m gazebos but it stayed dry and the sun even came out for a while. Just as we finished packing up a light shower came down.

About 180 people turned and about 20 persons sent apologies.
There were a number of extended family members I hadn't seen since the last family funeral about 4 years back and some of Amanda's work colleagues and acquaintances we had not seen for decades.
Six Speakers (a Girlfriend from school, a Girlfriend from Amanda’s bookclub in which she had been a member for 40 years) a niece, our son, Amanda's brother and myself presented many stories and memories. Many loving and caring words were spoken.

4 speakers spoke first and then followed Amanda's choice for her "funeral music" , we thenhad a break for refreshments and a chance for attendees to sign the memory book, look at the photo wall and some of Amanda's craft which were on display, and reminisce.
Then there some reminiscences and a toast with red bubbly (Amanda's favourite tipple) by Amanda's brother .
Then I spoke and also wrapped things up.
Then the attendees had a second chance at refreshments etc - there was loads of food and red bubbly which was taken back to my place.

Despite the sadness it was also a joyous occasion
Amanda would have been highly embarrassed about making such a fuss but we relived some great memories.

Then we had a family lunch (more food supplied by my sisters and SILs) but there was still about 40 people present, and viewed a continuously running Slide Show about Amanda's life.

I was left with more food than I could deal with so I ended up farming most of it out to neighbours with Teenagers. After everyone left that was a dark moment but several people called to check on me. Then late in the day a widower neighbour visited. This morning another neighbour is accompanying me on my dog walk and then having me over for breakfast. Then I'm going with my grandies to check out the ducks at a local lake.

Bob,

That sounds like the best send off anyone could ever hope for, what an amazing turnout. You've done Amanda proud.

Bob, I am so sorry.

BobL, I don't know how I have missed seeing this until now. I have not been on the forum much lately due to some of my own issues so I belatedly would like to add my condolences as well. I lost my wife 20 years ago and I know it is a lot to go through.

Thanks Fellas, much appreciated.
Things are going as well as can be expected under the circumstances.

Yesterday was putting up the Xmas tree with the grandies which brought a few tears - Amanda loved all that Xmas stuff but I was usually an old grump about it and was lucky to hang a single ornament on any tree she put up.

I have continued to declutter the house and have removed about 40 boxes and bags of stuff but this has barely put a dent in the bric a brac, I've mainly been getting rid of old clothing and Amanda's mothers and grand mothers bric-a-brac. I'm doing this to create a bit of space to put out a few photos of Amanda and her horse riding and craft activities. I've also taken the opportunity to get rid of some of my stuff like the Belgian beer glass collection that I haven't touched for more than 10 years. Taking a much loved partners life apart and finding useful homes for the stuff is a mixture of pain and privilege.

I've sold a few things, like her rock polishing and cutting gear which was just taking uo space in teh shed, but generally I don't need the money so most of the stuff including excess furniture is being donated to Vinnies or Good Sammys. Likewise stuff like the stamp collection can just go to charity. But what does one do with a "Winnie the Pooh" shrine/collecctio0n, or an extensive children's book collection? Once I've removed enough stuff to make things easier to clean and created enough space to set out photos and samples of Amanda's craft I will let things lay for a while.

Still no interest and energy to get out to the shed - I wonder if that will ever come back?

G'Day Bob, The shed is the HAPPY PLACE for most of us blokes so I hope you get out there soon to enjoy the fun of creating with wood. Cheers Peter