the worst woodworking day or dumbest thing you have done

Several years ago, as a teenager, I was watching and learning the fine art of woodworking from my Father. Dad was a trucker who was home very little. The index finger on his right hand had been cut off at the last knuckle when he was a toddler, leaving a one inch stub. Dad was going to rip a one and a half inch wide piece of material on his handy tablesaw. As he was getting close the the blade, he was watching his thumb very closely as not to get it in the blade. He was watching his thumb so closely that he didn't realize his middle finger had rotated over the top of the blade at the last second. I saw it coming but couldn't say anything quick enough. The end of his middle finger zinged over the top of the blade. Dad was jumping up and down holding his finger, afraid to look at it. "Dirty rotten !**&*&*!*&#&*#*, I cut my other @!#&^(^*&^(*ing finger off!" I knew he had just knicked the end of the finger and I was laughing so hard I just about peed my pants, which, of course, made things much worse. When my Dad passed several years ago my Brother and I were called upon to clean out his shop. We had quite a laugh when we came upon a box holding all the brand new safety guards for all the tools he had purchased over the years.

As I stated earlier, my Father was a trucker, and home very little. Mom wanted an addition built on the back of the house for and extra bedroom for me. Dad had the addition framed in and the roof on one Sunday afternoon and promptly disappeared. His tools were all put away in the garage and he was just plain gone. About 2 am the next morning my Brother an I were awakened by a tap on our bedroom window. It was Dad finding his way home from his favorite watering hole. As I was about to get up to let him in, my Mom, standing in the dark doorway, said; "Don't you dare!" Apparently she had locked the poor guy out to teach him a lesson. After a short silence I heard some scraping and scratching outside and suddenly the sound of his saw running. Then a crash and there was my Dad standing in a hole in the wall of our new addition. He smiled and said; "We needed a door there anyway." Dad promptly went to bed. Needless to say, Mom and Dad had very little conversation for quite a while after that event, but it finally blew over.

Last Friday arvo, heard from SWMBO that her hairdresser was felling a pear tree and planning on giving it away as firewood. A quick phone-call led to to a visit of said hairdresser that same night...

She & her hubby were subdiv'ing the back of their lot which used to be an orchard some 40-50 years ago and they were clearing several old trees, including the pear, a lemon, an apple and a cherry. They'd already felled a humongous preposterous (ummm... a pittosperum? sp?) and hubby was out back billeting it. So, I wandered outside to have a chat and ogle the potential shed-filler... and WOW! These trees were old. There and then I told hubby not to bother cutting down to pot-belly size... 4' lengths would fit my trailer nicely. To sweeten the deal, I offered to fell the fruit trees myself. Of course, he accepted: it needed to be done and who wants to waste a weekend toiling in their own back yard?

In leaving I grabbed a couple of small pieces of preposterous to try sampling. I wanted to see if it was worth keeping, or best passed off onto my woodclub sucke^H^H^Hbuddies. So, on arriving home, I promptly rough turned a goblet and then painstakingly sat in front of the microwave for 3 blasted hours nuking the thing for 50 secs every 10 mins to "force cure" it. Amazingly, it seemed to work even though I've no great experience in nuking timber.,

First thing yesterday morning, Saturday, I rechucked it and finished it off. 'Twas amazing stuff to work, turning as though uncured albeit without the shower of sap, an amazing grain coming through. Lovely swirls of caramel & vanilla, a truly beautiful piece. Being so workable, I managed the finest, most delicate looking goblet I've ever done, easily my best by far. After a bit of consideration though, I decided not to apply a finish straight away, placing it near a heater duct for the rest of the day to see how prone it'd be to checking & warping. After all, it'd been hanging off the tree less than 18 hours previous and it looked too good to be true.

Last night, after 12 hours next to the duct it was still intact so I took it back to the shop and applied an Organoil finish, sanding down to 1800 grit. This was definitely a work of art! I was sooooo proud of it, but I decided to give it to the hairdresser as a thankyou. And, I s'pose, a bit of "see what I can do." ;) All in all, yesterday was a great day, everything went better than I could've hoped for. And I also decided that at least a trailer load of preposterous would find a new home in my drying shed. :D

First thing this morning I arranged for a few mates to assist in the felling. Half-way there, got a call from one with a flat battery, so I did the mates' thing and went to his assistance. Stoopid, stoopid, stoopid. 2 hours later, I finally managed to pull up at the hairdressers.

The other blokes'd gotten sick of waiting and had already felled the trees, they were working at slice'n'dicing 'em to length. Went to get my chain-saw and join the game and... it's still at home! :( OK, so I'm now delegated to moving the billets down to the front yard while the other boys played with their toys. [sigh] In her disdain for the plans of man, Ma Nature decided today was a good day to rain. All day, on and off. Mainly in buckets. Some 8m3 of backache later, along with enough foliage to fill two semis, it comes time to divvy up the spoils. The blokes who brought their toys got first pick, which was fair as they paid for the fuel after all, then I selected mine and what was left was allocated to the "club pile." Which'd be stored at my place until the members picked it up 'cos I'd arranged things... Somehow that didn't seem quite so fair, but I was willing to go along with it.

OK, loaded up the trailers, got ready to head home when I was reminded about the goblet. Uhoh... guess what I'd put next to my chainsaw so I'd remember to bring... A half-hour trip home, more back-ache unloading and sorting the timbers, then I grabbed the goblet, kicked the chainsaw and headed back to give the hairdresser my latest pride'n'joy. Pulled up in their drive, picked up the goblet, opened the car-door and promptly slipped on the wet drive. Fell flat on my ****, in a puddle of course, also belting my head on the car door. Staggered upright, one hand going to each end. A quick rub to both, my butt was wringing wet. Wetter than the rest of me, at any rate. A quick glance at my hand to make sure 'twas just water and not mud... no, of course not. Blood! Looked at the ground and there was most of my beautiful, fragile, work of art. Another grope of the back of my pants and there was the rest of it. Funny how I didn't feel any pain until I knew that I should. Then it hurt enough to make up for it. :(

Didn't bother knocking, just gathered what dignity I had left, got back in the car and came home. I can't sit down comfortably, I've got the sniffles and I've done my back in. I know from experience it'll be a few days before the back's up to earning a quid. All for a few lumps of wood. I don't understand it; yesterday was such a good day and I haven't mutilated any babes or children this week. Not even any cruel and unusual punishment. So it can't be karma. Can it? :confused:

I hope those lumps of wood were worth it Skew!

Oh, yes. They were worth it. The sniffles dried up, the back eased and, although sitting's a pain it doesn't stop me from firing up the lathe. My wood supply still overfloweth though. :)

However I do regret the loss of that goblet; it was a really good day when I turned that and the pieces I've done since aren't in the same league. SWMBO has told me to go buy my own microwave though... I really should get back to turning my cured stock instead of trying to reproduce the goblet!

first year of my appreticeship, i was told to change a bandsaw blade... no problem.. i was a cocky kid... i set it up, and get this guy to start working all the sudden I see smoke coming from the bandsaw.. im like and i run over to see what is going on.. i put the blade in the wrong way!!!.. haha... i didnt hear the end of it for a few months from all the guys at work... and every time after that i changed the blade my forman would always come up and ask if iwas in the right way.. haha oh well.

Ah yes, the mistakes we make that never get forgotten...by others!!
I tried rapidly seasoning a turning blank a couple of years ago at work, like Skew ChiDAMN, I headed for the microwave. I'd read about this and now was the time to try it out...in went the blank for a tentative minute...yep, some steam, turn it up a bit...another minute. Quite a deal of steam emitting, I could see it through the window. This is working really well I think, so put it on for a couple of minutes. There must be time for a quick slash, so off to the the loo, but as I rounded the corner on my return I knew something wasn't right. It might have been the smell of burning olive wood first, or maybe the fog rolling out of the smoko room grabbed my attention!:eek: I ran in and turned the thing off at the wall, flames were appearing out the vent at the rear, and the whole room seemed to be full of smoke! Who should walk in just then but the boss, but he took it pretty well, muttered something about being hard to find good help nowdays! Exit one microwave, and the block of wood never did make it to the lathe, but I still cop it over that stuff up. Can't even heat lunch without some smart comment!
BTW Skew, I've read somewhere that Pittosporum (undulatum?) has been called Engravers wood, because of its carving qualities. I've got some trees in my backyard, but I can't use any of it, full of borers and they drop branches neatly cutoff by the buggers!
Cheers,

Worst day of my woodworking life was when I tried to coax one more cut from my bandsaw blade because I was in a hurry and didn't have time to change the blade. I got my extra cut alright ----- on my left hand as I was trying to force the wood into a dullish blade. It bled for hours, but I felt hardly any pain, it was so quick.

I have used most power tools but would regard the bandsaw as the most dangerous. I only seem to have accidents or get close to having accidents when I'm short of time, there's a lesson in that.

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Originally Posted by Andy Mac

BTW Skew, I've read somewhere that Pittosporum (undulatum?) has been called Engravers wood, because of its carving qualities. I've got some trees in my backyard, but I can't use any of it, full of borers and they drop branches neatly cutoff by the buggers!

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Thanks for the info! I haven't been able to find much out about it, but it really is a lovely wood to work. I may have to try my hand at carving some... I certainly have plenty to spare. :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Tiger

I have used most power tools but would regard the bandsaw as the most dangerous.

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Funny, I regard it as one of the safest. Hand held circular saws are the ones I'm scared of...especially the little 5" jobbie that went in the electric drill... now that was scary. :eek:

AlexS, my experience suggests that it is the most dangerous, also it's one of the only power tools that doesn't have a guard making it very dangerous.

Stay away from power tools! This arvo, I decided to change the blades on my electric plane (GMC Wood Razor). Power OFF, cord 3 meters away from power board, I loosen the bolts, started to take the blade assembly out, slip "My thumb is sore, it's bleeding!" Ouch! Memo to self - keep all body parts away from sharp implements! :D

This is an easy one.

A chisel, my thumb and momentary lapse of judgement.

My old bosses brother, trust me this is true, honest,,,,,,,,

Cut through a plank with a circular saw, but with it resting on his knee.

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Originally Posted by bennylaird

My old bosses brother, trust me this is true, honest,,,,,,,,

Cut through a plank with a circular saw, but with it resting on his knee.

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AWWWWWhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...cons/icon9.gifhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...cons/icon8.gifhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...ons/icon13.gif

Easy. As recently reported here, feeding my finger into a 60T triton blade while it was running.
Lesson = USE A PUSH-STICK.:(

A mate was using an angle grinder with a 12" stone cutter in it (yeah he was an idiot). Anyway, as luck would have it the blade broke into 3 pieces while he was cutting a block of sandstone. He looked around for the broken bits but could only find 2. He went get in his ute to go and buy another one and his left leg gave way on him. The 3rd piece was embedded in his thigh :eek: but he didn't feel a thing (until the ambos arrived).

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Originally Posted by bennylaird

My old bosses brother, trust me this is true, honest,,,,,,,,

Cut through a plank with a circular saw, but with it resting on his knee.

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May father did the same thing, still has the 8 inch scar down his leg to prove it:eek:

Wow! Was I stoked!

I purchased a length of Qld. Maple a couple of years ago and was saving it for the perfect project. I decided to use it to build a fairly complex jewellery box for my married daughter. After calculating the amount of timber I needed, I reckoned that there was just enough, as long as I didn't waste any making mistakes.

Hand cut dovetails - worked out great:) , especially pleased because the top dovetails are mitred to match the lid:) . The lid I cut from the body - perfect:) . Mitred Base - perfect:) . Three drawers faces - perfect:) - the grain flows around on all four sided:) . I had a few off-cuts left, so decided to face the end grain with face grain where the drawers shut against the sides. (Just a personal, probably unnecessary, detail.) Three days of shop time - this is going great:) :) :) !

I used one of the drawer faces to calculate what was needed for this, went to the table saw and adjusted the fence and ripped the face grain pieces from the scrap.

Wait a minute - that wasn't scrap - it was the drawer front I used to take the measurement. Arrrgh!:mad:

Now one of the drawer faces has a curf sized filler. Looks like crap!:mad:

Aww Mate!

I think that we've all been there, and done that. Doesn't lessen the angst though.

Utter bummer all the same. Time for a nice single malt, methinks!

back in my younger days I worked 60 hours straight and when attempting to drive the hour or so home I stopped 10 minutes from home for what I thought was going to be a 15 minute "power nap" as my eyes were refusing to stay open. 3 hours later I woke feeling like a truck had run me over.

I get home to find my wife half, no fully histeric as she had rung work to see how I was going and they said I had left, so she thought the worst, I must have had an accident. I found out later that a fella from work had tried in vain to find me, he actually drove all the way to my place and back, but I was sleeping out the back of a servo out of site.

Anyway I couldn't understand why my wife was so angry at me as I thought it was a pretty good effort working that hard and completing what I had to do (personal world work record) and bringing home the overtime and bonus proceeds but no she was furious, so much so I couldn't stand it anymore and bailed for the shed, but, what do I do then, punched the door to let out some built up agro with the whole situation, hit it so hard I broke my hand didn't I.

Well not realising it was broke at the time and ashamed, embarrassed and stupid I put up with the initial pain thinking it would go away, The next morning it had swelled out of proportion so the realisation of it being broken started to set in.

Off I drive to the doctor who set my hand/wrist in plaster and put it in a sling. Ok now more realisation, ever tried to undo your fly with one hand, you will find its easier with two especially when you really need to go. So I just managed that task, just one other thing, have you ever tried to drive a manual car with one hand in busy traffic? I rang my wife.

Where still married.

1. Rushing to correct a mistake in a change table project before my daughter was born. Too few shed days and a fast pregnancy (Only 37 weeks).
I was chopping the last of the mortises, and my left hand was in the tool path. Of course the freshly honed (8000 grit) heavy pig-sticker chisel found its way at high speed into my left hand. I felt it hit the bone.

2. Helping out the chippy I hired to finish off my attic. On a ladder, reflexively trying to catch a hammer (of all stupid things) that he had tossed my way. Came off the ladder, fell with my outstretched hand finding his toolbox, with his trowel point up. Tool surgically removed from my left hand.

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Originally Posted by gregoryq

...Came off the ladder, fell with my outstretched hand finding his toolbox, with his trowel point up. ...

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Now that's what I call aerobatics!:D

Greg,

Methinks that you need to do WW with your right hand only - the left one seems to cop a lot of flack...

I hope you fired that burk that tossed you the hammer - what a dopey thing to do...

Cheers!

That guy was an excellent carpenter, except for a serious depression problem, and some other issues as well. That WAS the last straw for me. Prior to this, I noticed him resting his still-winding down circular saw on his thigh after every cut. Obviously one day the blade guard was going to hang up and he was going to open up his leg. That scared me.

The other thing that chills me to this day was him clearing a nail gun jam while on the roof. He got that done, then held the nose piece down and fired a nail. I am not kidding about this: That nail found my neighbour's cat, right in the meaty part of her leg. Between Vet and Doctor bills I would have been better off to hire a real builder.

Greg.

Oh, by the way, between chisel and trowel scars, the amateur palm readers at work sputter out some pretty good theories!

That's odd. I don't remember doing any work in Templestowe!? :D

That was when we lived on the other side of town.

I have a knack. I could start a service: If I hire a tradie, black ban him. Announce it to the world. Every guy I have ever hired has instantly turned weird. The one and only sparky I hired insisted on disconnecting my power until he installed four (Yes, 4) earth stakes. Hence the genius of strong handgun laws in this country. I kept my power and he his hide, but he had lots to spare.

My dumbest thing happend half hour ago:o I just finished spraying the second coat on a coffee table, and as i want to hurry up and thickness some boards before i pull stumps for the day, i grabbed the nearest blanket and threw it over the coffee table to protect it from dust:eek::eek: :eek: what a f*%^#* idiot i am:(

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Originally Posted by redwood

i grabbed the nearest blanket and threw it over the coffee table to protect it from dust:eek::eek: :eek: what a f*%^#* idiot i am:(

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Redwood, i nearly fell off the chair, sorry mate, dont want to laugh at another's misfortune, but i couldnt help it.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...ons/icon10.gif

A greenie on the way for a very entertaining tale http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...ons/icon10.gif

i peeled it of straight away and its stuffed:( all that effort:( ill let it dry and totaly strip it:( upside is im havin a stubbie an hour before i had origanaly planed to celerbrate the fact im a goose:rolleyes:


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Just opened my first shop, had a new company name that was a blend of my last name & part of the gentlman whom helped me do it's last name. Spent $2,000.00 for a stall in the biggest trade show of the year, had a beautiful slab of fiddleback Spanish Cedar (like mahogany) 96" x 28" x 1 1/4", a real showpiece. I planned for a month to make this into a sign that would astonish people, worked on it from 6:00am to 11:00 pm, routed the name (13 letters) & Woodworking Inc. Did filigree corners, inverted pyramids, white maple inlay, the whole shebang. I was a proud man! Janet (my lady at the time) stops by to drag me out for a couple, so I just have to show her this work of art. . .She looks at it, says it;s beautiful but why did I spell the name like that? Well. I ain't got college, only the miltary as a formal educashun. Boy whatta putz. The sign never made it the show, it did however become a nice work plank.
I got a few more, this is enough though.

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Originally Posted by redwood

im havin a stubbie an hour before i had origanaly planed to celerbrate the fact im a goose:rolleyes:

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Are you sure you didnt have a few stubbies BEFORE you threw the blanket over the tablehttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...ons/icon10.gifhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...ons/icon10.gifhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...ons/icon10.gif

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Originally Posted by redwood

My dumbest thing happend half hour ago:o I just finished spraying the second coat on a coffee table, and as i want to hurry up and thickness some boards before i pull stumps for the day, i grabbed the nearest blanket and threw it over the coffee table to protect it from dust:eek::eek: :eek: what a f*%^#* idiot i am:(

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Sounds like you just invented the "textile finish" for woodwork.
Congratulations:D

Carpntr,
welcome and don't feel too bad mate! I used to work in graphic arts and used to see a lot of king sized typo's. The trouble when signwriting is that you don't look a the whole word like you do when writing normally, you tend to draw the individual letters as objects or pictures, rather than write them in a group as a word. Also, even when working with smaller text of a size nearer to normal writing people often can't see a mistake as their brain sees what should be there rather than what is really there.

Mick

theirs a thought. i could sell it as contemporary art:confused: do a few more and maybe get a government grant:rolleyes:

One day not long ago, I had a blonde moment (no offense to blondes, just a figure of speech). Anyway following a bit of a hail storm in brissie, the light bulb in one of those $18 outdoor Par38 light fixings was smashed by the hail. So, coming off about 6 hours sleep in almost three days, I go out there, pull the whole light fitting off the post it was screwed to (to light up the pool area) and throw the whole thing in the bin.

Of course, what i should have done was just take the smashed lightbulb out and replaced it with a new $4 one instead of chucking out a perfectly good $18 light fitting :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p

A made a mental note to get more sleep over the next few days :D

Before I owned a bandsaw I needed a large perfect circle cut out of a piece of perspex. I had one of those drill circle cutting things with the 2 blades, but it didnt open far enough. So I took one end off, and moved the bar across so it would cut much bigger, but with just one blade.

I figured I would put the speed on my drill press way down and just take it very slowly. My biggest worry was the balance of the circle jig. So I clamped the perspex in place and turned on the drill press and it spun beautifuly, no wobble at all....for the few turns it took to catch the power cord and tear it out of the side of the drill. It isnt woodworking I just realised, still maybe someone might learn something, I did

I HAD a bandsaw until my eldest decided to cut up cow bones with it now i have a meat cutter what a waste of $1000.00 bandsaw hence my boys have there own tools now and there own shed.

Mudgutts, why can't the BS be used anymore? Surely a good clean would suffice. Cow bones are softer than most of our hardwoods.

Did the cow bone have meat and sinew still attached?! That really pastes the insides of the BS with a stinking mulch, and builds up on the tyres enough to spit the blade off. Takes ages to clean too!
Don't ask how I know.....:o

Cheers,

Get your butcher to give you some of the chemical they use to break down meat on anything (don't get it on your skin though) they use it to clean the machines, stainless benchtops, floors walls etc.
Wipe on using gloves, wait about half an hour and wipe of with a hot wet cloth.
No residue, no smell, no nothing, nasty stuff though when concentrated.

And speaking of circle cutters, using the same drill/cutter attachment, bored a hole, raised the bit and put my hand under to move something.
Didn't realise that the cutters were THAT close, had a lovely set of arced cuts on the back of my hand.