"Couldn't hit a Bull in the bum with a handfull of wheat"
Grandfather used to use that one when teaching me to shoot.
"head like a robbers dog"
Used when describing a not so attractive member of the oposite sex. Origin unknown.
Printable View
"Couldn't hit a Bull in the bum with a handfull of wheat"
Grandfather used to use that one when teaching me to shoot.
"head like a robbers dog"
Used when describing a not so attractive member of the oposite sex. Origin unknown.
"Ugly as a hatful of @rse'oles"
This is one of those wonderful, uniquely Aussie expressions that combines a vivid, graphic description with a very unlikely circumstance. Love it!
One of my father's favourites is:
You're worth your weight in cocky chaff. :D
but I've never been sure what cocky chaff is :confused:
Richard
Paul1 triggered dim memories of another ... "couldn't hit the side of a barn"
You'd get lost in a tunnel.
That reminds me of this little clanger concerning someone who is a little daft.
"He wouldn't know that a tractor was up him until the bank came to repossess it!"
Melbourne version, which I had forgotten until now:Quote:
Originally Posted by hovo
Wouldn't know a Melbourne tram was up him unless they rung the bell.
Lights are on but no ones home.
Half a bubble off plumb
Photographic memory with the lense cap on
As clever as Warnie
A coupla kangaroos short in the top paddock.
A coupla sandwiches short of a picnic
Mine are about the people I generally deal with:
"MUPPET" - Most useless police person ever trained.
"Negative tooth to IQ ratio".
"He/She is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot".
"Head like a smashed crab"
"Do Bears **** in the woods?"
"Suffering Ars3holes"
"It'll be ready in a Cubic Fortnight"
"Cork Head" (Usually in reference to eldest son! :D )
And my personal favourite
"I'll never forget old whats his name?"
And on a more serious note "What happened to Tankstand's old avatar?"
My Dad always said to me "suffer fools gladly"
he knew I couldn't :D
I spent a couple of days this week in Brisvegas. An expat Victorian taxi driver said "I'd be in more ***** than a Werribee duck".
Only funny to those who know about Werribee.
"The best part of him went on the sheets"
My Father in law describing a moron he met.
Sorry,
Lionel.
Its funny what expression you use and don't even realise.
Found myself use "laughing like a fat spider" again today.
I'm amazed at how many of these I haven't heard.
Richard
"Fits like a glove on a chicken's lip"
"would put a horn on a jelly fish"
"fugly"
"rough as guts"
and in moments of extreme anger (or pain) "f#%k me dead!"
Mick
:D :D :D :D :DQuote:
Originally Posted by journeyman Mick
Ugly as a hat full of asreholes
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Big O
His mother should have settled for the HJ.
This is an english translation of one I heard
"Im that lucky that out of a hamper full of female body parts, I would pull out a penis."
Did I mention that it was also cleaned up just a bit.
Sometimes when I get home from work when someones asks how it went? I'll reply with a deadpan "I see stupid people"
and my wifes' favourite when someone does something really dumb is "Here's your sign" a thinly veiled reference to an old Jeff Foxworthy skit about warning the rest of you about us stupid people :D
and to go one further on "Fugly" we use "Super Mega Fugly"
Do you keep a little book with things like that for your writing? A quick reference guide to insults from across the world. That may be a good book to write.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com...ons/icon14.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by Daddles
Or are you eidetikk:eek:
I don't, I prefer to make these things up as needed in my fiction. As for a non-fiction collection, that's not such a bad idea. It's been done but there's always a new twist you can put on it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gingermick
A gem from Billy Connelly - never travel with an eejit, you can always pick one up when you get there :D
Richard
Holy snapping asreholes, a Magistrate I once worked with used this frequently but never in court (that I was aware of).
And for card players 'don't shuffle the t*** of the queens'.
This is a throw back to top condition livestock often being grain fed. That is the biggest and best are grain fed.
i.e He's a grain fed idiot!
Bruce,Quote:
Originally Posted by E. maculata
that's because you've got uglier (and more stupid) people in northern NSW than we do in North Queensland! :p ;) :D
Mick (the handsome and clever! :rolleyes: )
Gee, I had no idea they were THAT bad :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by journeyman Mick
Richard
Had a mate who had a variation of that which I still use when the brain is on autopilotQuote:
Originally Posted by journeyman Mick
"f#%k me running!"
Don't know where he got it from or if it's even possible but I do use it.
Knew a bloke once whose girlfriend's father told him he'd be a waste of a good horn.
I think it's interesting how many variations we all have of the same sayings and find it surprising that I've heard most of them.
I remember an old sergeants reply to a young bloke as we were putting him in the paddy wagon;
Young Bloke: "do you know who my father is?"
Old Sgt: "Son, thats probably something you might want to ask your mother"
cheers'
dazzler
My favourites, as in most used, are aimed at our 3 & 13 y.o. kids.
Hopefully a succint distillation of useful life guidance:
1) Don't hurt yourself, don't hurt people, don't hurt things
2) Do the things you have to do, THEN you can do the things you want to do
3) Finish it properly the first time.
I also recently read (Readers Digest??) a saying along the lines of
"Good, better, best.
I will never rest
until my good is better,
and my better best"
Sorry for derailing the filth and insults :D
Cheers,
Andrew
You ought to be ashamed of yourself Andrew, bringing this board into good repute like that. If you're not careful, I'll sic Al on you, or Col, or Zed, or, worst of all ... Christopha :eek:
Richard
ha ha ha ha ha.................. shut up
One from work from a particular indiviual, "kick' er in tha gutz mole" or kickitinthagutzmole... which means push the start button, we actually call this bloke (all 6'7 1/2" of him) "the mole" because of it!
A very colourful character indeed!
And mine are, toungin like a lizard for a draught... even tho I dont like beer go figure.
When someone says "Im off" as in leaving I say "Yep off like a bucket'o'prawns in the hot sundy sun".
Ooooooooorrrrrrrrr Fair go Gladdys!!!! :eek:
Stop talking to yourself!!
Get it inta Ya!!!
Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr I think I'm loosen It!
Ya in the Mood Babe :)
Regards Lou:D:D:D:D:D
An oldie but when I first heard it, it was applied with gritted teeth to the yardsmen where I worked - he was called Opium, because he was a slow working dope :D
Richard
We had a chief draughstman called the Lead Balloon because his favourite saying was "Don't let me down, lads".
My all time favourite, said to me many times by an old friend is ****** you and ya dog.
Which i don't think i would really like, not sure about the dog sometimes though!:D
Sorry to bring the board back in to disrepute but with the caracters that are mebers here where else does it belong?
Hey, I think he's being rude to us ... or giving us a compliment. :confused: Hard to tell sometimes :D
Richard
Don't get me started on nick names!
Thiers the bloke we call "Pothole".................... cause every one avoids him.
Then there was "Budgie"....cause he was always looking in the mirror (who's a pretty boy then).
and "Porridge" ................ cause nobody likes porridge.
and ofcourse "Tickets" ..................cause he was full of himself.