..which got Penis excited immediately. Standing up straight he started and immediate search for the cabin boy. Meanwhile Semen was wooing the whore, "Wight then my pwetty how about a....
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..which got Penis excited immediately. Standing up straight he started and immediate search for the cabin boy. Meanwhile Semen was wooing the whore, "Wight then my pwetty how about a....
Cuppa tea and a biscuit? Then we'll take you home to meet mum.
She'll be most impressed by those huge.....
...and juicy...
mangoes that you got for selling your ...
..self to any Extra Terrestrial with a shiny coin and a....
"If you lot don't keep it in check the mighty delete button will erase certain phrases" Having said that.......
...he ran off with the alien whore fearing the mighty delete button which might take away his precious mangoes forever.:D He arrived home and upon sighting the alien his mother was heard to say....Quote:
Originally Posted by
Well it's about time you got home, where the hell have you been? Not gallivanting around the universe again? You are a bad, bad...
...boy, so get into that kitchen and fry me a kipper, I'll expect it in....
... 5 minutes after your father has given me a good ...
run down on what happened during the third test at the Gabba, he was just telling me about the side Ian Thorpe was batting for when we were interrupted by a strange noise coming from the...
melon crusher in the back room... "who is that sickly sweet smelling sentinent being from another planet of dubious virtue you are "
Just as an aside - I havnt laughed so hard for a while. I like it when it gets a bit naughty - very benny hill...
...presently body painting... (ala Demi Moore)Quote:
Originally Posted by Zed
but gave up as he found that paint rollers we much more effective until..
he reached nearly the bottom of the can and discovered that the strange texture in the orange-red coating was due to the fact that it wasn't paint they were using but baked beans; and they hadn't been applied in accordance with Material Data Sheet supplied ..."AAAAAAaaaarghhh!!"! he cried as.....
.. he scraped the beans back into the tin, giving the triple-breasted whore a nasty skin rash (he was using a capinet scraper), "without these beans, there wont be enough methane gas to power the ...
...pilot light on our ancient heating system, it's freezing in here! This was illustrated by three small bumps across the front of the alien whores wet t-shirt soaked with 57 varieties of.....
seaman stains spittle. "My, thats all over me, isnt it ?" said the whore
"Get out of my house you galaxy trailer trash!" shouted Mrs Stains. Semen thinking quickly....
... turned to his mother and said "it followed me home from the ship, can I keep it?" Mrs Stains rolled her eyes, she knew what this meant. It would be just like the time ...Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Hammer
...he asked to keep the termite as a pet and it literally ate them out of house and home. "How do I know this beast won't eat our home" Asked Mrs Stains. Semen thought then said.....
"cause Il'll keep her in me shed, which you'll remember is steel framed. I can chain her to my Triton as another attachment.
Mrs Stains wasn't convinced, however...
... it was nice that he had a hobby and she had heard that a triple-breasted whore could double as a 3-pin dovetail jig. "OK, you can keep her but just remember you have to clean up the mess when she ...
...forgets to empty that massive calostimy (spelling?) bag she's carrying around". The whore replies "It's not a calostimy bag it's a....
silicone implant I purchased from Ebay (I understand it once belonged to pamela anderson before she upgraded her system). I've modified it to include a nozzle for...
... dust extraction. So is that a cyclone in your pocket, big boy, or are you ...
laughing at me like the dolphins do ? I hope you dont rust like my triton did when I forgot to close grandfather stains blind. To get around this I'll have to paint you...
into the corner...
... of this Monet fake I've been working on. You can be one of the water lillies and I'll be ...
...missing you.
...because I'm not standing for that kind of insult from your old bag mother!" and with that the whore...
flounced out of the room and immediately transported herself back to her home planet of Coosbane where she promptly ....
sat down and wrote a letter to her local MP demanding that Coosbane declare war on Earth and all those who sail in her. Meanwhile on the other side of the galaxy, ...
Far, far away...
Captain Penis was looking for his long lost love of his Life (the whore of course), since he couldnt find her (she had scarpered and was in the process of starting a war - see previous response) he looked for his favourite cabin boy - seaman stains. Stains of course was...
..wifling thwough woger the cabin boys pants looking for.....
a way out. Unbeknownst to him however, Woger's tackle was ...
... snagged in a cleft in ...
...a precarious position right over the top of.....