Roger Meter to determine if the beast was ready for for....
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Roger Meter to determine if the beast was ready for for....
... heaven's sake! This plot deviation is getting very convoluted - thought Crabtree (Notice how his pronunciation is perfect when he's thinking? Interesting, eh?)
Alternatively - he thought - the beast might have been ready for that famous Scottish Football League result: Forfar 4, East Fife 5.
But probably not. Turning off the light and returning the seat to its upright position, Crabtree emerged from the facility. He turned on what he imagined was his most charming smile and advanced towards Michelle, on pleasure bent. As he reached her side ...
winder missile he ...
Side winder missile?
So............Michelle, was really Michael, he knew it all along but he..........................
was still thinking about the beast and wondering if just maybe it would ......
would be happy with a ...
2 all beef pattys, lettuce, pickly thing, and a sesame seed bun..........
which was altogether a bugger, because due to a transdimensional shift in the space time vortex they had landed in a Subway Store.
She/he looked down at his hands, soft, pink and luscious though they were, he knew that soon they would have to .. . . .
grapple a cat sanger.................not that there is too much wrong with a cat, but he was in no mood for any kind of feline (you fill in the blanks)........................
luckily for them all it was grand final night in Sydney and the invading army was able to take the whole city without firing a shot. Phew that was close, thought Michelle/ Michael who had thought for a horrible moment that he/she was going to have to wash up and get dishpan hands, all for want of a cabin boy. Having nicely sidestepped the feline issue, they all went...
to watch the play " Cats". " bloody Nora he" he said, " can't we get away from all this pussy???" " I just wish we ........"
wave a magic wand and turn into...
real men who only use...
...wooden ... (Jeez, it's been a while since that happened ...)
wooden ...
"'ello" thought Crabtree "there appears to be zee echo". Who is zee narrator I am wandering ..
... all over the plot!"
A voice said: "Ello, 'ello!"
"Thor's thit eecho agoon," said the Captoon.
"No, no lad," intoned a portly British bobby. "That's a standard policeman's greeting. One halways sez: "Ello, 'ello" before interrogating a suspect."
"Er you implaying thit I'm a sospuct?" said Crabtree ...
"Oh no," exclaimed the bobby, whose name was Bobby, "you're not just a suspect, China, we know you done it. We've got you bang to rights. You're in the frame, you've been grassed up. It's not going to go pear-shaped this time because I've had a word in my Governor's shell-like ear, and shortly you'll be doing porridge, you horrible little Frenchman"
"Bugger Me!" said Crabtree in French and Bobby proceeded to ...
look up his French to English dictionary.
"Right sunshine" he said when he'd worked out the translation "you're nicked and I'm going to add offensive language to your form sheet as well".
However just then, the lovely Michelle intervened, telling Bobby .....
McGee every song she ever knew..with ....
..out including Knees up mother brown and roll out the barrell (I love stereo types). Enraged by the omission of these two classics Bobby called on his mate Barb (I'm still living off of my Carry On fame) Windsor to teach this trans gender ludite a lesson in how to have a kness up, Barb started by....
calling on her famous cousin Elizabeth Windsor to...
observe the goings on and point the knees up group in the right direction. "Well, well, well" said the Bobby, before he could continue the Frenchman said " Oui! I know zat one, it is zee chain of ponds ne ce pas?"
With that the Bobby grabbed his night stick off Michelle and was about to clobber the frog when the night stick began to vibrate "Farkenelle! said the Bobby"
Again the frenchman interupted with " Oo, OO, OO, i know zat one too, it's distant waterway , oui? This time the Bobby really spat the dummy and clocked the frog right in the .......
Wooden door of his wooden outhouse which was situated in the woods just outside the wooden gates of his wooden chateau just down the road from......
the call centre, where at that very moment thousands of furrowed brows were pouring over Australian telephone books, feverishly finding fone (sorry!) numbers to dial while the evening meal time was apon them.
One of their number, a thick skinned, thick set individual with wood-rimmed glasses, looked up suddenly...
stuff this nonsense ... who wants a bourbon and .....
wooded chardonnay in a wooden ...
unused...
virginal.......
plastic beaker. Now back to the telefoning ( sorry)......
.. as soon as he got close to the phone so he could resume, it rang . So he answered it and was surprised to hear the voice of....
Woody Woodpecker after his......
recent harrowing experiences with many and varied telefone companies all vying for his patronage. He wa more surprised than ever when his own telephone (sic) carrier called chasing his favours. "Bugger me," he thought, for not the first time in this serial, wouldn't you know it...
if I call them I can't get anyone. If I don't want them they almost kick the doors in. "What is it you want from me?" he queried. The reply went something like this " As you know, you are one of our very valued customers and as such we wanted to ask you if you were inclined to....."
open chemist shops in the outskirts of ...
woodyville...
that sold nothing but condoms and ...
electric vibrators that...
were guaranteed not to chip your teeth even if you were inclined to blame your screw ups on typos