Printable View
Brother HB, you have the right of it! :)
Wendy, I reckon Bob has not only provided you with an excellent Get Out of Jail Free card but has pointed out , yet again, that The Code is sufficiently robust to meet and deal with any situation that can arise in the shed.
Good result all round, I think.
Well done, Bob.
Col the Congratulatory
Whew!!!!!
Thanks Guys!! :2tsup:
I vote definitly no.Quote:
Originally Posted by rufflyrustic
A proper sheds windows would be covered with enough dirt grime and dust that no - one would be able to see in. In addition this situation creates an opportunity for a projectand the purchase of a new tool!
How so?
You need to replace the glass in your windows with opaque. Of course you wont be able to find the damn glass cutter so you will have to buy a new one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a friend in Canada who is a little concerned he may have gotten a dose of girl cooties (germs) by drinking milk from his significant other's glass.
I suggested he take the quiz (Appendix B of THE CODE) in order to check.
In my opinion Canadians are a lot like Ozzyuns..... (just kept in the fridge for later on) so it prolly wont matter all that much.
Q1. Can a furriner qualify for blokelyness assuming he is still living in his native country.?
and cobwebs, mould, splattered oil, wax, paint, blood, mud...... :DQuote:
Originally Posted by dadpad
Yes.Quote:
Originally Posted by dadpad
For further edification, please check Posts 202 and 203 in this thread. Plus, my user name. :cool: :D :D
And now 25 pages later :doh: ...do we have a DEFINITIVE cod of practice for the shed yet or is it still a "work in progress"?
Im thinking of making it up into a document laminating it and then make a nice frame for it... then hang it PROMINENTLY in the shed :2tsup:
note... appropriate sections HIGHLIGHTED of course :;
And Wendy? Your alternative name calling of the curtains in your sheds cannot and will not fool anyone!!! They are what yous sheilas call
CURTAINS!! :~
and are therefore a violation of the code... please remove them forthwith or else one of the nearby brethren of the code will have to take steps to resolve said violation :o an if theyre too flamin scared of boofheaded spanner I will have to work a way around our distance issues and take you to task meself! :;
Definitive? Hmmm... :hmm:
Well... so far a few questions have been thrown into the ring and The Code has come through unscathed. Sooner or later someone will ask a real poser that may require a redefinition, but until then... :fineprint:
...until then or when Wild Dingo visits my domain, I shall continue building up a more appropriate window dressing such as Cliff suggested :) Until then, those hanging things will just have to stay :rolleyes:
cheers
Wendy
Is there any differences allowed to distinguish between a Blokes Shed and a Sheila's Shed?
Can sheila's have a official shed?
If all things must be Blokey, then is Wendy classified as a sheila, or an honorary bloke?
And is Bob Childress a sheila posing as a bloke.
I believe the code states that a bloke doesnt have to be a particular gender, they just have to meet certain criteria? Am I wrongQuote:
Originally Posted by Linden Hardy
Just so you know Dingo, The Code is now 30 pages long.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Dingo
It's going to be one big @rse frame featuring very PROMINENTLY in the shed. :o
One word... Wall PaperQuote:
Originally Posted by NCArcher
From memory, Wendy started compiling a Sheila's Code of Practice, but decided that The Code was sufficient, with reversals of gender where applicable.
I'm not sure whether this is mentioned in The Code, it has been a while since I checked :whip: but if it isn't, perhaps it should be? Then again, mebbe not... AFAICT wood and tools don't care what the gender of the person they're biting is. :rolleyes:
And while I'm asking... what's the latest revision? The latest I have on HDD is 21 June 06...
That's two words, but let's not split hairs. I'm still waiting to see the DEFINITIVE cod of practice. Sounds a bit fishy to me...Quote:
One word... Wall Paper
Post 326, page 22. Version 7 Feb'07Quote:
Originally Posted by Skew ChiDAMN!!
Ah... so I'm current then. [Phew!] (That's the Jun 06 version)Quote:
Originally Posted by NCArcher
Where has the time gone? :oo:
LindenQuote:
Originally Posted by Linden Hardy
You've posed quite an interesting series of problems, mate.
Y'see, if you had followed the evolution of the Code as it has evolved, then you wouldn't be in any doubt as to Wendy and Bob's joint and several blokeliness.
Equally, if you had followed the evolution of the Code as it has evolved, or even if you had merely read the last several postings, you'd be aware that the expression "Blokey" is, in and of itself, unblokely. :oo:
On the other hand, if you had followed the evolution of the Code as it has evolved, you could be accused of having read the bloody thing in detail - in itself almost a Code violation.
So, the dilemma is: have you actually, by having a go at a couple of blokes, to whit: Wendy and Bob, and by using a SWMBO expression (ie, "Blokey") stepped across the line, or should we ignore these appalling transgressions and let your post go through to the keeper?
Whaddaya think, girls?
Col the Concerned.
My shed has, amongst all the various car, motorcycle parts, fishing gear, camping gear, rifle safe, reloading gear, skins, skulls, tools, various bits and pieces ive collected and hung on the wall, parts cleaner, compressor, sink, toilet, WELL stocked fridge, etc. etc. a male dunny man on the door walking in and a female dunny girl on the door on the way out, with a sign that states "By invite only".
I'll let this pass--just the once. :rolleyes: :D :rolleyes: :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Linden Hardy
An excellent job creating a code for many blokes sheds today and into the future.
Can I suggest a definition be added regarding "thongs". The intent should be for our international associates to not miss-understand what a thong is in Australia. For example using the US definition, wearing the thong could be a concern if worn and would probably not be seen as blokely.
Id like to see that!! :2tsup: :UQuote:
Originally Posted by wonderplumb
mmmmm so Im gonna have to go back and look for the damned code?... Rats and buggarbums! time for another slurp of the good oil before me brain zions zap emselves stupid an me eyesockets begin to bleed reading back through all those posts to find the friggin thing!!
30 pages??? nah this thread ISNT the code the code is more definitive than this thread which is confusing and consistantly hijacked by suggestive red leatherette wearin "blokeys" which of itself is no doubt a violition of the code since were meant to be blokes its just not on wearin red leatherette!! and yet that blokey one continues to express the intent nay the contemptuous intent to leave those CURTAINS up over their shed windows!! A CLEAR VIOLATION!... the main problem I see with enforcing the code violation punishment is the fact that since such code violation punishment would require a cadre of brethren attending the offendees shed and taking down the offending CURTAINS and hanging the offendee by the gronicles from the roof trusses... unfortunately since the offendee is a blokey sort of non bloke they unfortunately do not have bloke bits to hang them from... thus we are in a state of conundrum with what to do by way of punishment for crimes against the code the offendee
It is a problem that must be remedied and thus included within the code to send a clear and present warning to other "blokey" ones that curtains will not be tollerated in a blokes shed... red leatherette does not a bloke make!!
As for Bob being a blokey type of bloke I have it on good authority that he is indeed a bloke by way of having those blokey bits earlier spoke of and thus being able to accept and face the punishment if he indeed were to violate the code by hanging curtains in his shed... whereas Ruffly is NOT a bloke but rather a "blokey" type person
As for the code not discriminating by word usage the differences between a blokes shed and a sheilas shed unfortunately by virtue of this being the Politically Correct era of the year 2007 and not the wonderously non politically correct era of the 1950s through to 1980s during which era a BLOKE was a BLOKE and a SHEILA was a SHEILA and no variance betwixt or between was tollerated... a bloke had the shed the sheila the house... and thus Wendy being a sheila would in fact NOT have a shed but her boofheaded spanner nut of a hubby would have the shed and she being a sheila would have the house... thus the right order of things
but now... now... we blokes have been degronicled to such an extent that now its not politically correct to have a blokes shed it must be a unisex shed... or as has been stated elsewhere a blokes shed and a "blokey" shed so in fact the code itself is in violation of the code!! thus this entire code thread could be seen as being in violition of the code itself by its very nature its contradictory consilitary politically correct and not by its nature done in a BLOKE type of way.
So as a bloke who has a blokes shed I ask beseech an implore all brethren and sisteren to control thine emotions and stick to the facts! A blokes shed is his domain a sheilas shed is the house where of course everything goes other than the blokes gear in his blokes shed
signed brother Dingo
:U :U stated like a true child of my time :q and showing my age brilliantly :C just out for a bit of fishing I am :2tsup:
A bit like the line on the last page of Neil's Polisher's Handbook... I found it after I had read the whole book. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Driver
Get that one will ya Gillie... Linden has 2 left feet, when one isn't in his mouth, the other one is. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Driver
Is that why you call me Ginge? :?Quote:
Originally Posted by Driver
Okay what I am gonna do cause yous buggars wont is to try my hand at condensing that 30 page code of practice to something a bloke might actually read. :roll:
So Im thinking something like this
The Shed
Code of Practice
1) ITS MY SHED
2) If you dont like it PHISS OFF
3) I will do what I want in MY SHED
4) You as a visitor will ONLY do as I say when I say while in MY SHED
5) No visitor no matter their relative relationship to me will dictate to me in MY SHED
6) Enter MY SHED only if you intend to DO SOMETHING
7) ASK BEFORE YOU PHART or do anything in MY SHED
8) If you intend to enter MY SHED you will put beer in the shed fridge FIRST
9) No frilly knickers curtains skirts or sheila type things will be allowed in MY SHED
10) Stand outside MY SHED until I notice you do not disturb burp phart yell scream knock or otherwise try to get my attention, EVENTUALLY I will notice you.
11) There is NO SUCH thing as an emergency outside of MY SHED while I am in said Shed, IF you have a problem deal with it I AM UNAVAILABLE until I leave shut and lock the shed door.
12) See 1 above
Anyone else want to try to make a condenced version of the 30 page code that may be more pc than the above is welcome to have at it.
Im really starting to think we might just be able to design and impliment a MY SHED Code of Practice that we can submit to the University of Shed Studies and thus can be utilized and in every shed in the land! :2tsup: But we must get it to such a degree of understanding that any bloke or blokey type can read it and understand its simple message without having eye bleeds nose runs brain pharts or just plain waste away from dehydration and starvation while reading the sodding tomb!! :doh:
Geeez - where's that big sheet of bubble wrap I put aside for the windows (and then lost track of where it went) :rolleyes:
Shane,
This isn't like you!:D I thought you'd be taking the 30 pages of the code and rewriting them in your inimitable style so it becomes a 75 page code. :D :wink:
Mick
Well I must admit I did try.. gave it my best too I did... in fact Im yet to go to bed its been so trying... but so far Ive only managed to boot it out to 140 pages so Im still working on it... dont worry I'll sort it :doh: I know I was trying to reduce the pages but theres just so much legalize you have to include in such a profound document that I find it impossibleQuote:
Originally Posted by journeyman Mick
sigh... Wendy Wendy Wendy :roll: You do realize that Im simply taking the phiss outta you dont you? I mean your a sheila!! (an a pretty sparkly good lookin one by the way... stay outta this boofhead :o ahem sorry about that hes okay Wendy must be since hes with you eh!! :U ) For cripes sake WE ALL KNOW sheilas are weird creatures even those sheilas like your own good self :doh: ... and weirds good no wukkers me dear!! :2tsup: You want curtains? You go right ahead and have curtains... heck you want pretty nipple pink shag pile carpet in your shed you have pretty nipple pink shag pile carpet... it is after all
YOUR SHED!
And as such there can be no code violation!! YOU are the master or is that mistress? of your shed :2tsup:
Me I wouldnt have curtains but then nor would I have pretty nipple pink shag pile carpet in me shed... but then Im a bloke an us blokes are like that :; Unless your names Bwuthey of course then the mere existance of a Bwuthy in a BLOKES shed is a code violation... but then a Bwuthy type "blokey" person would feel more at ease and at home in a sheilas shed than a blokes shed anyways so...
Its all good :2tsup:
has my leg vacated me gob yet?? :o
That just proves my point made elsewhere... sheilas are evil :q
A shed's Code of Practice is determined and laid down by the Owner of afore-mentioned shed. The Owner of such a shed shall gain the wisdom and gather information on acceptible solutions, which shall be included in said Code of Practice, from years of reconnaisance missions to the "Old Mans Shed", where he would have gained valuable knowledge through listening to otherwise secret conversations via a partially opened door or an old bullet hole through the iron sheeting on the walls.
Information may also be taken in snippets, without arousing suspicion, from a mates Shed, a mate who was fortunate enough to own a shed before yourself.
You may also take into account things you have seen in various other Sheds on your journeys around the countryside.
Upon aquiring your own Shed, the Shed shall be personalised to your own tastes.
You shall draw up your own Code of Practice, which may be displayed or you may take it for granted that any Shed-worthy people you happen to invite into mentioned Shed will posess enough common-sense, and know the Owner of the Shed well enough to respect such formalities.
Summary..................
The Owner of the Shed shall posess the authority to formulate His own Code of Practice, using the basic fundamentals of Shed ettiquite.
Anyone fortunate enough to visit the Shed, shall comply to the Code of Practice at all times, lest the resultant consequences be decided by the Owner of the Shed.
Any visitor shall replace what he drinks, unless specified said drinks are repayment for a favour, the price of which shall be agreed upon between the two parties.
In short............
Its my shed, my rules, dont like it, f##k off!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, now... have you read the code? :?Quote:
Originally Posted by wonderplumb
I draw your attention to this section....
4.2. The purpose of a shed.
The purpose of a shed is to provide an environment and territory wherein a bloke has total and complete dominion and control and is therefore happy.
You don't sound very happy.... is somebody violating your code? :D
c o d e is that what the kids are calling it nowdays
Ahh, but in this direction lies anarchy, Grasshopper. For a bloke to develop his own Code is impossible, because then it would not be a Code, just a collection of personal eccentricities.Quote:
Originally Posted by wonderplumb
The Code of Practice is but the logical outcome of the theory of the Social Contract. The Social Contract is a means by which we can come together to agree what is generally acceptable and unacceptable in any given shed and thus promote the best interests of all blokely shed owners. As Hobbes, Locke, and Rousseau argued so cogently, the Social Contract (dare we refer to it henceforth as the Shed Contract? I think so.) is necessary for the successful functioning of society. Without a Shed Contract (let us speak plainly now), a bloke visiting another bloke's shed would be in a constant state of tension, lest he unknowingly violate that shed owner's personal rules.
Oh ho, but we do have the Code. Consider now that the visiting bloke knows what to do and not do and can join in the general camaraderie of the shed without fear of a misstep. What's more, in his own shed, the bloke not only understands his role (which is that of absolute monarch) but also can depend on his subjects (shed visitors) to behave according to the correct protocol.
So you see, the Code exists for the benefit of the Greater Good and should be embraced in that vein.
[The above does not, of course, apply to chaps, who are free to write their own rules as no decent bloke would associate with them anyway and other chappies visiting their Space are equally likely to be nongs.]
There will be a quiz on Thursday. :)
Struth!!!! :oo:
Go easy Bob... you are starting to sound like (waffle like) bloody Ding. :D
PS. I did however, read the whole lot & understand it, so maybe you aren't doing that bad yet. :p
Steady up ol fella yer encroachin nigh on to warrin country with them words!! :~Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers
ahem... I do not waffle... like or otherwise!... I ruminate cogitate extrapolate and generally converse! more often than not with meownself but at times with others... and yes inclusive of your own self Cliffy me boyo! so steady up ol son steady up
Now... this code... Ive printed of the existing code as it stood back a few pages in time... and Ive sat on the royal throne and pondered its contents... I have spent many MANY friggin hours attempting to reduce the duced words and paragraphs down to a few short succinct ones that could be made into an easily read by any visiting bloke to the shed document that can be laminated framed and hung at eyesocket level in full view of said visitor to shed... but have failed miserably to do so
Sooo whats to do with this code of practice to make it more bloke freindly? Do we have to make it into a book to have on hand to give to any venturous bloke type sod who may wander through the door of the said shed... in so doing do we say nothing hand them the book point at the moaning chair and shout "READ THAT" and leave them to it? Sounds right rude to me... and knowing most blokes a book like tombe such as has been created in this code would be glanced at and tossed to one side never to be read said bloke would then begin wandering around touching fondling and sneeking drinks from the fridge whilst the owner of the shed would be busy doin stuff... not a good thing in my book
So we NEED a shortened condensed version that is simple easy and to the point so any bloke would not help but be drawn to reading it... this would then make the rules of the Shed ala the code clear to any visitor to the shed bloke or heaven forbid sheila type... as is well known NO bloke in his right mind will read a document such as this IF he doesnt HAVE to... and a visitor we must agree does not feel any urgency to read ANYTHING
I therefore submit that someone MUST write a condensed shortened perhaps in point form code of practice for the benefit of all and continued harmony in the shed.
Now thinking about this I believe it should be on A3 size parchment and framed under glass so as to look mightily officious an serious thus grabbing the visiting blokes attention upon entry... this I feel would stop the visiting bloke in his tracks and draw his attention to the code wherein upon reading the points written therein would behave in suitable fashion... ie: run out of the shed and down to the local rubbetty to pick up the required BEER to replenish the beer fridge stocks... I do think many have not given this one point the attention it deserves which is a sad indictment on those blokes with sheds who have given this code of practice their attention and assistance... sad
What can be done regarding this matter?
As for distribution I feel aside from every contributor that has given of their time ruminations eludications and efforts on this the code of practice thread at ubeaut.com.au forums getting a complimentary A3 framed original... this could be signed by all however many contributors (much like the USA constitution eh? very officious indeed!) and sent to them poste haste!... but a copy also should be sent to that shed bloke of shed blokes the shed scientist for him to include with his package when a bloke becomes one of the band of brothers with "good shed" status... thus promote the wholesomeness brilliance and communal nature of "The Shed Code of practice" :2tsup:
We must at all times strive to help and assist our fellow shedites and this I feel would assist and help a good many new young shedites who of no fault of their own are without a bloody clue with regard shed etiquite and proper diplomacy with regard their sheds... and thus we would be furthering our great forum and its brilliant membership...
The code of practice document should always include reference to the Ubeaut forum and its members from whence it came :2tsup:
That doesn't sound like you Ding. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Wild Dingo
A condensed version, eh? Hmmm... how 'bout:
:pQuote:
MY SHED
(Rules & conditions apply)
Im thinking of others Cliffy mate... some of who have the attention span when it comes to things like rules of an gnat... not even a gnat on heat just a half dead gnat... so Im thinking there should be a shorter version to cater for them blokes you know?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers
gawd mate Ive gotta stop worryin about other buggars!! strewth they dont wanna read the book called The Shed.. The code of practice" then tuff shyte sport when I toss em out the damned door!! :doh:
Good Lord no! What was meant by the little swear words is that there is boundaries, and as long as these boundaries are not over-stepped, I have total dominion and control and am therefore happy. Example, my best mate has an awesome shed on his farm, being a former aircraft engineer he has a rather hefty Snap on tool chest. I know without being told, should I happen to find myself within arms reach of said tool chest I risk, at worst a broken arm, at least being banished from the Shed. A Shed worthy visitor in my opinion has the common sense to know instinctively what the boundaries are.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers
But using said fundamentals of Shed Ettiquite you are providing a Code of Practice best suited to your local authoritive requirements......Quote:
Originally Posted by Honorary Bloke
example,
AS3500, National plumbing and drainage code of practice,
NSW Code of Practice for plumbing and drainage, a code of practice which overrides the National code of practice to be better suited to local authoritive requirements, ie Sydney Water for the main part and local council requirements, and still however uses the basic fundamentals of the original Code.
So you see, its not about eccentricities at all, but submitting clauses into the Code so they best suit your locality, shed design, shed contents and so on and so forth, as every shed is different.
I've only just recovered after originally reading this extract from the Wild Westralian Dingo's recent post. I read it several hours ago and, in the period since, I've had a bit of a lie down and a couple of stiff drinks ..... calmed down my colleagues, who were concerned at my health when they found me lying on the floor with tears streaming down my face, apparently gasping for air ..... and brought my pulse rate back to a less excited level.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Dingo
However, on mature consideration, I've realised what's been going on. Some bastard who is an extremely skilled plagiarist has managed to overcome Shane and gain control of his computer. He's written this appallingly blatant spoof, brilliantly disguising it so that it looks as if our own Wild Dingo wrote it himself. But he isn't fooling me! No-one who is at all familiar with Shane's posts could ever believe he would want to have a shortened, condensed version of anything.
So come on, ya bastard! What have you done with Wild Dingo. Eh? If you don't release him before the WW Show on the weekend, a mob of wild woodies will descend on the South West and sort you out. Let him go! You're fooling no-one!