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I never ventured into this part of the forum before, mainly because I have been more interested in wood, machinery, that sort of thing. For some reason, I peeked inside this bit tonight. What are you blokes on about? It might be time to slink back into my comfort zone of the workshop.
Fgurgle, the alien whore famous for her arangement of bodily parts, and a particular favorite at bucks parties, frowned as she intercepted the strange earth transmition of her mobile communication ear implant. She understood peeking, slinking and places of comfort, but the rest was new to her, and this was very rare.
Determined to find out what these strange acts of 'wood' and 'machinery' entailed she descided to contact th earthling.
"Andy is that you honey .......
But it turned out it wasn't Andy but Ozwinner whose alien thought protector helmet had malfunctioned and instead of protecting him from aliens had actually chanelled Fgurgle right into his .....
... Lycra bicycle shorts. Although Al found the sensation of an alien voice emanating from his nether regions disconcerting, he was not as surprised as you might think. This was because he ...
is used to being told what to do by the occupant of said nether regions.
He simply offered to sell his...
finger skin to use as anti-skid on the decks of ......
the Good Ship Venus, whose captains name was....
(Midge, thanks for following Hovo, I couldnt trust myself to follow "sell his..."
Kind regards
Termite
Penis. Yes thats right the captains name was Penis, god how he'd suffered at school!
Willy, todger, tackle, pindick, yes he'd had all those nicknames and more. in fact he had quite a complex about it. If he so much as heard the word Dick he would hand draw and quarter the offending sailor.
The WHore alien really wanted to meet a human called Penis as it excited her...
... mother no end to think that her daughter might one day settle down and meet a nice man with a big ...
...tool. His use of the tool was well known to all who sailed the seven seas and the inn keepers in many a port as his preference was for...
middle aged balding men, with a gut just protruding over their belt. It was well known in their circles these men had a talent for.....
farnarkling, but it was an ancient skill, one that took years of sacrifice, self examination and........
...yoga. The whore was intrigued by the Whore In Bed that adorned the bow of his ship and asked why, if he was little light on his feet, this was his figurehead? He answered...
"donuts" let alone "donut punchers" dont look good as a figurehead Captain Penis replied. After all he had a reputation to uphold as a dandy of style in this here neck of the ocean. Penis did once upon a time have a figure head on another ship of seamen that featured the prominent part of a ...
...walking stick, but alas the alien had never seen one of those before and so mistakenly thought it was a ...
..n iron rod used by the second mate for flogging, the second mate was a dapper gentleman who was known to use broken glass as a deterent to amourous seaman resulting in the circumcision of....
.. Australia by Captain Cook in a bizzare accident with a spell checker. Meanwhile, Al's hind quarters were getting fed up with all this nautical stuff so they ...
medi-evil tool, used in sacrificial ceremonies, where the sacrificial maiden had her...................
Which one were you replying to Outback? Slow connection or fingers?:DQuote:
Originally Posted by outback
...spontaneously combusted covering the alien whore in a green goo of the most foul smelling kind. The alien gasped "Is this....Quote:
Originally Posted by silentC
snot? or silly putty ? surely its not the...
NO! It can't be the......
Yes it is, it's the ...
...heat seeking probe use for searching out hot...
...potatoes wedged into....
..cracks by captain Penis. How he came about this unusual hobby is another story altogether dear readers and we shall not bore you with the doings thereof. suffice it to say that Captain Penis was all charged up and ready to get himself a bit of that great looking semen's (spelling?) ....
..stains. Semen Stains said "You're on the wrong ship mate, I'm telling Captian Pugwash to make you walk the...
dog. If you don't know how to do it, I'll show you how to ...
hold the yo yo then you're on your own. Captain Penis had heard of the fearsome yo yo and shouted for the alien whore to help him. The whore...
had been forgotten up till now.... the forgotten whore. She turned suddenly in a move that was reminiscent of Merv Hughes in Slips...HER slips and said....
meanwhile had realised her mistake in trying to talk to Al's nether regions so she was having another go at getting through to Andy. Andy however were down pit
where he was having an interesting discussion with ....
A little slow CB.
"Leave my penis alone!" and swooped down knocking semen to his knees. Penis thought he might take advantage of semen but instead he....Quote:
Originally Posted by bitingmidge
Yep Midge beat me by seconds. However, I couldn't be ars*ed deleting it.Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyHammer
Rememberd the Olyimpics, and decided to watch Beach Voleyball, as the ladies competing had their cossies disapearing right up their.......Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyHammer
Well I hope that this has answered your question, the aim is to add to a story and make it interesting. The correct question is not what are we on about, but what are we on?Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy Self
Feel free to join in - it helps if you are feeling a little silly.
(as long as the little silly doesn't mind)
Sorry for the interuption lads - back in to it.
................up their .... hidden valley. The prostrate seaman stains, abandoned by Penis glanced at the whore
"For me?" she gushed at Penis' retreating back, "perhaps you can teach me of wood?" her eyes devoured the seaman.
Seaman Stains staggered to his feet, reached for a belaying pin .......
...and Shoved It Right Up....
Which he deftly inserted into his lathe and grabbing his trusty parting tool he ...
Bugger, trumped again :rolleyes:
[
into the hand of Semen Stains and said "Use this to satisfy the alien whore, she likes it when you....
...use the incorrect pronunciation of...
(where is Col when you need him?)
... Woger the Cabin Boy ...