Droll!!!!!!!

Man to pet shop owner: ""Have you any kittens going cheap?"
"No sir, All our kittens go "meow."

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Woman to butcher: "I want a piece of beef, and make it lean!"
"Certainly, madam. Which way?"

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"Doctor, doctor! You've gotta help me! I think I'm a toilet bowl!"
"You're fine. But you do look a little flushed."

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I'm reading a very interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't
put it down.

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"You sound a little horse."
"Yeah, I feel a colt coming on."
(Mike Bull's Pun of the Day)

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I have kleptomania. When it gets bad, I take something for it.

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I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.