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Hey C'mon its Chrissie
Q: What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the sand?
A: Sandy Claws
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Q: What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?
A: Santapplause
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Q: What do you call Santa Claus after he's fallen into a fireplace?
A: Krisp Kringle
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Q: What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A: A pineapple
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Q: Where does Santa surf?
A: On the Yule tide
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Yesterday I rode my bike twice, I guess that makes me a recycler.
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A speech is like a wheel. The longer the spoke, the greater the tire.
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Wrestlers don't like to be put on hold.
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"Can I go downstairs and see if Santa came?"
"<yawn> Okay, go ahead."
(seconds later)
"Daddy, Daddy, Santa came! I told you he wasn't watching me!!"
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Mixed-Up Christmas Carols
from Stan Kegel's Puns of the Day
1. Approach, Everyone Who Is Steadfast
2. Are You Experiencing Parallel Auditory Input?
3. Celestial Messengers From Splendid Empires
4. Creator Grant You Cheerful Thoughts, Noble Sirs
5. Delighted Days Off
6. Ecstasy Toward The Orb
7. Embellish The Corridors
8. The Event Occurred At One Minute After 11:59 PM -- Visibility
Unlimited
9. Hail Nativity Conifer
10. Hey, Minuscule Urban Area Southwest Of Jerusalem
11. I Auditorily Perceived Clapper Containers At The Peak Of The
Yuletide Season
12. I Observed A Trio Of Vessels Returning From Yachting
13. Listen! The Foretelling Spirits Harmonize
14. A Melodic Composition Reverberates Through The Atmosphere
15. Musical Clanging Objects Composed Of A White Malleable Element
16. Our Desire Is Your Yuletide Cheer
17. Ovine Caretakers Supervised Their Charges In The Period Past
Twilight
18. The Primary Carol
19. Proceed To Broadcast This From A Much Higher Elevation
20. Quiescent Nocturnal Period
21. Removed In A Bovine Feeding Trough
22. Seraphim We Aurally Detected In The Stratosphere
23. The Slight Percussionist Lad
24. Song Of Joy From Harmonic Hollow Metallic Devices
25. What Offspring Abides Thus
Here are the real names of the titles listed above. However,they are
in alphabetical order, not in matching order.
a. Angels From The Realms Of Glory
b. Angels We Have Heard On High
c. Away In A Manger
d. Carol Of The Bells
e. Deck The Halls
f. Do You Hear What I Hear?
g. The First Noel
h. Go Tell It On The Mountain
i. God Rest You Merry, Gentleman
j. Happy Holidays
k. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
l. I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day
m. I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In
n. It Came Upon A Midnight Clear
o. Joy To The World
p. The Little Drummer Boy
q. O Christmas Tree
r. O Come, All Ye Faithful
s. O Little Town Of Bethlehem
t. Silent Night
u. Silver Bells
v. There's A Song In The Air
w. We Wish You A Merry Christmas
x. What Child Is This?
y. While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night
And finally, the answers:
1r ; 2f ; 3a ; 4i ; 5j ; 6o ; 7e ; 8n ; 9q ; 10s ; 11l ; 12m ; 13k ;
14v ; 15u ; 16w ; 17y ; 18g ; 19h; 20t ; 21c ; 22b ; 23p; 24d; 25x
