Pilots & Air Traffic Controllers #1

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, six miles."
Delta 351: Give us another hint. We have digital watches."

Tower: "TWA 234, for noise abatement, turn right 45 degrees."
TWA 2341: "We are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make
up here?"
Tower: "Have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits
a 727?"

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue:
"I'm f**king bored!"
Tower: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately."
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f**king bored, not f**king stupid."

O'Hare approach control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic
is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this.. I've
got the little Fokker in sight."

A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight.
While trying to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked: "What
was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

I like the 3rd one best. :D

big fan of No2 and No 3

In a past life, before GPS, one night on duty tech I was sitting downstairs listening in & watching the night flying on the radar & waiting for it to finish.

Local Control: "XYZ what is your current location, over?"

XYZ: "Local Control, we are inbound, 30nm ENE, over."

Local Control: "XYZ, squawk ID, over"

pause....

Local Control: "XYZ, say again your current location, over"

XYZ: "Inbound, now 28nm ENE, over"

Local Control: "XYZ, no you aren't, over"

long pause....

XYZ: "Gone should be there...."

I thought it was funny but I bet he didn't. :D

They all make me think of the joke

I don't wan-a-you Fokker Friendship!!! I wan-a-ya Fokker help!!