Wife Deals With Husbands Windy Problems
This is a story about a couple that had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every night before he fell asleep and again every morning when
he awoke, even louder than the night before. The noise would wake his
wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
She would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making
her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly
natural. She told him to see a doctor; as she was concerned that one day
he would blow his guts out. To which, he only laughed.
The years went by and he continued to blast them out! Then one
Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was
upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey
innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious
thought came to her.
She warmed the innards just enough to take off the chill, then took the
bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep. Gently
pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of
his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
which was followed by a blood-curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After
years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her
lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you. God, I feel horrible."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one-day I would end up farting my guts
out, and today it finally happened."
"Oh No!" his wife his wife exclaimed, doing her best to hold back the
laughter, "are you okay honey?"
"Yea, I'm a little uncomfortable," he said with a moan. "But by the
grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most
of 'em back in."
