Meatybite Diet

I've got 2 dogs. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and was standing in line at the check-out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two very time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food.

I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my ass and a car hit me.<script><!--D(["mb","\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.\u003cbr\u003e?\u003cbr\u003eStupid bitch...why else would I \u003ca style\u003d\"border-bottom:3px double;text-decoration:none\" href\u003d\"http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si\u003d22\u0026amp;k\u003dbuy%20dog%20food\" target\u003d\"_blank\" onclick\u003d\"return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)\"\u003ebuy dog food\u003c/a\u003e??\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cfont face\u003d\"Verdana\" color\u003d\"black\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"color:black;font-family:Verdana\"\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style\u003d\"text-align:center\" align\u003d\"center\"\u003e\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\u003e\n\u003chr align\u003d\"center\" width\u003d\"100%\" size\u003d\"2\"\u003e\n\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\u003eNo virus found in this incoming message.\u003cbr\u003eChecked by AVG. \u003cbr\u003eVersion: 7.5.518 / Virus Database: 269.21.6/1318 - Release Date: 7/03/2008 2:01 PM\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e?\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd width\u003d\"100%\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellspacing\u003d\"0\" cellpadding\u003d\"0\" width\u003d\"100%\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd width\u003d\"100%\"\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\n\u003ctd valign\u003d\"bottom\" align\u003d\"middle\"\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\n\u003ctd valign\u003d\"bottom\" align\u003d\"middle\"\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\u003c/tbody\u003e\u003c/table\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\u003c/tbody\u003e\u003c/table\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.incredimail.com/index.asp?id\u003d409\u0026amp;lang\u003d9\" rel\u003d\"nofollow\" target\u003d\"_blank\" onclick\u003d\"return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)\"\u003e\u003cimg alt\u003d\"\" hspace\u003d\"0\" src\u003d\"?ui\u003d1\u0026amp;attid\u003d0.1\u0026amp;disp\u003demb\u0026amp;view\u003datt\u0026amp;th\u003d118bc0d63f31c08d\" align\u003d\"baseline\" border\u003d\"0\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"border-rgb(128,128,128) 1px solid;margin:8px 100%;border-bottom:rgb(212,208,200) 1px solid;2px;background-color:black\"\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003chr size\u003d\"1\"\u003e\nGet the name you always wanted with the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://au.rd.yahoo.com/mail/taglines/au/y7mail/hotmail/*http://au.yahoo.com/y7mail/?p1\u003dni\u0026amp;p2\u003dgeneral\u0026amp;p3\u003dtagline\u0026amp;p4\u003dhotmail\" rel\u003d\"nofollow\" target\u003d\"_blank\" onclick\u003d\"return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)\"\u003enew y7mail email address\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003chr size\u003d\"1\"\u003e\nBe a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. ",1]);//--></script>

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch...why else would I buy dog food??

:rofl:

:roflmao2:

:rofl

nice one...

There are some jokes that make you laugh every single time you hear them... This one's on the 'all-time-funny' list...

Cheers,
Dave

HAhahahaha An absolute classic I haven't it for a while, awesome.:U:U