Things to do at K-Mart

Whilst my wife is shopping in K-Mart I like
to occupy my time in the following ways:

* Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the rest rooms.
* Ask the cashier if I can layby a packet
of chewing gum.
* Move the "Caution-Wet Floor" sign on to
the carpeted area.
* When a staff member asks if they can help
me I scream out, "Leave me alone".
* In the kitchenware department I set all the
alarm clocks to go off at 5 minute intervals.
* I get packets of condoms and put one in
each shopping trolley being pushed by an
old lady.
* Go to the clothing rack, put my head inside
a jacket and tell each shopper, "Pick me".
* Go into the mens' fitting room, shut the door
for a while, then yell very loudly, "Can anyone
hear me - there is no toilet paper in here".

I think I am in love with the female security
guard - she tells me where to go every time
I go there now.

Allan

_________________________________________

I once stole a calendar - and got 12 months.