Breaking News.....

This one appears every time a community has a near miss with
a natural disaster. I can't find where it has appeared here previously.
My apologies to any Rocky forum members.

Flood waters have created mayhem in the C.Q. city of Rockhampton.
Locals, who usually reside on the city's riverbanks, have been
wandering around aimlessly, muttering "bloodyhell". The Second Chance Ministry food van has had to relocate to feed the locals.

The flooding of the Fitzroy River has devastated the area causing
approximately $30 worth of damage. At Depot Hill, areas of historic
burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken by the rush
of water well before their Centrelink cheques arrived. The
Rockhampton Bulletin reported mayhem in the streets as hundreds of residents were left confused and bewildered and still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Rockhampton.

One resident, Tracy-Maree Sharon Britney Madonna Smith, a 15-year-old
mother of five said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Joachim
and River slept through it all."

Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of bourbon and coke and cans of paint to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the debris and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards, jewellery from Kmart and bone china from Big W.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

An appeal has been launched to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after. Items most needed include: flannelette shirts, Wranglers, singlets (blue and white), Ugg boots, sparkly backpacks and any other items usually sold in The Warehouse or The Rejects Shop.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs urgently include: microwave meals, baked beans; icecream, chips and fizzy drinks.

Donations of $15 will be taken to buy a packet of Winny Blue 25's and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.