scam response

G'day all
Just got an email from Neil re the old nigeria scam. It reminded me of a response I came across and stored in the depths of my documents. Here tis
cheers
Rod (gone fishin now)

Dear DR.ONORIODE BOBOLO,

It is so good to hear from a fellow-countryman, having been raised and lived for many years in our most beautiful homeland, Nigeria. I want to send you my sincere thanks and gratitude for your kind offer of USD$25,000.000.00 (TWENTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS) for taking part in this funds transfer transaction.

However, I am a businessman too, and I make my living transferring large sums of money from and to my friends, relatives, and business associates in Nigeria. Therefore, I know that you would agree, that in order to participate in this wonderful opportunity, I must have an advance monetary commitment from you -- a good faith gesture on your part -- in order to proceed.

Therefore, I ask that you deposit just 10% ($2,500,000) of the $25M into my PayPal account as an indication that you truly possess the funds and are actually authorized to release them. Using the online PayPal service is a very convenient and secure way to transfer funds. All you need do is access the PayPal web site -- http://www.paypal.com -- open a PayPal account, deposit the funds into your new account, and then transfer the money into my existing account, which has already been set up to receive the $25M.

You only need my email address, which you already have, to transfer the funds into my account. Therefore, the complete safety of your account, as well as mine, is guaranteed and insured unconditionally. You have asked that this matter be handled with the strictest confidentiality, and I will agree to that condition, provided that the transfer takes place in a reasonable period of time, say by Friday, 5 October.

If the money has not been received by that time, I must assume that you are not making a legitimate offer, and that you might be someone other than who you say you are -- although I can tell by the exceptional language of your email, that is probably not the case. However, if that is the case, then I will be forced to embark upon a most unpleasant course of action that I would prefer not to undertake.

Because I have so many loyal friends in the Government of Nigeria and the Military, and many close ties within the Security Service where you work, it would be quite easy to locate your office and your home, as well as learn the identities of your friends and relatives.

I truly don't believe that you would want to jeopardize their health and well-being, and your own future. I will access my PayPal account on next Saturday to verify that your good-faith payment has been made. Once that takes place, we can move forward with the final transfer.

I trust that you will not disappoint me in this matter, since the consequences for non-compliance could be quite severe. I look forward with great anticipation to working with you.

Yours faithfully,


Issa Gidada, JD, MMB,
President & CEO
U.S./Nigeria Funds Transfer Organization
Beverly Hills, CA

Hmmmm...now if I could work out how to re-word it just right as a reply to some of the "spam" mail I get.....it would be a very appropiate reply to "spam" back at them idiots

Thanks for the great idea Rod!

I get people ringing me on my mobile all the time, at least 3 calls a day(where do they get my number from?), all trying to sell me some sort of crap: wine club membership, accommodation deals, horse betting programs (heaps of these), electrical fittings etc etc etc. They usually call me right at some inopportune moment, like I'm hanging off the side of a building trying to drive a screw or I'm on a scaffold holding a sheet of gyprock against the ceiling. If I'm not so totally p****d off at them that I yell abuse at them till they hang up I give them MY sales spiel. "Oh, you've rung me on my work phone, I have this phone in order for me to make money with, not for people to make money from me, if you want to have some of my valuable time then you need to send me a cheque for $40, and I'm sure you'll have no problems getting my address as you have found my name and phone number, you can then talk to me for up to 30mins. I look forward to receiving your cheque, bye." I've actually had telemarketers get upset with me over this. "well MY times valuable too you know!" was one response. I'd feel sorry for them if they weren't so damn annoying!

Mick

Yes Mick, I've found that offering to accept their money in return for listening to their speil works well. I actually send invoices...don't get many payments, but don't get too many return calls either.

Must be something about FNQ, I'm an old Mt Mulligan boy m'self.