Outback surrival kit

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23rd November 2006, 09:57 AM
rrich

Outback surrival kit

The Outback Surrival kit comes in a sealed box. The contents are a bottle of Gin, a small bottle of Vermouth, a small jar of olives and an ice cube tray filled with water attached to a device that instantly freezes the water.

Included with the kit is an instruction sheet, titled, "How To Make The Perfect Martini."

Should you ever get lost in the Outback, just open the surrival kit, freeze the water and announce that you are making 'The Perfect Martini'. At this point 15 people will suddenly appear, 5 people will be telling you that you're making the Martini incorrectly, 5 more people telling how to make a perfect Martini, 4 people wanting to sample your Martini to explain what is wrong with it and one person to tell of evils of drinking alcohol. Any of these people can lead you to the nearest city or town.

The woddies version of the kit contains a Tormek, sheet of glass, high speed grinder, a supply of sand paper, wet stones, oil stones, diamond strops and an instruction sheet titled, "How to sharpen your tools to a perfect edge."

I think that you know the rest of the scenario...

You may now be wondering, which method does the Yank use to sharpen his tools?

Well, I'm not about to step into that poop!
23rd November 2006, 10:09 AM
Cliff Rogers

Quote:

Originally Posted by rrich

...The woddies version of the kit contains a ....

Very good. :D
23rd November 2006, 10:14 AM
bennylaird

Today survival needs a radio included whatever you do. Or any other way to keep up with the Ashes:D :D :D

Wongo excluded, Ping?:D
23rd November 2006, 01:31 PM
AlexS

Quote:

Originally Posted by rrich

Well, I'm not about to step into that poop!

Wish GWB had said that!:rolleyes:

Very good joke, especially the woody's version.
24th November 2006, 04:59 PM
rrich

[quote=AlexS;415220]Wish GWB had said that!:rolleyes:

Me and about 100,000,000 of my fellow countrymen agree with you!

At times I do envy Australia! It seems that your leaders are not the perfect idiots that we have. ;)
24th November 2006, 07:49 PM
coastie

Don't kid yourself:D
24th November 2006, 07:53 PM
masoth

coastie. Are your suggesting any one of them IS perfect?:D
24th November 2006, 08:50 PM
AlexS

[QUOTE=rrich;416153]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlexS

Wish GWB had said that!:rolleyes:

Me and about 100,000,000 of my fellow countrymen agree with you!

At times I do envy Australia! It seems that your leaders are not the perfect idiots that we have. ;)

Idiots, yes, perhaps not perfect, but complete.
24th November 2006, 09:18 PM
John Saxton

Quote:

Originally Posted by rrich

The Outback Surrival

Included with the kit is an instruction sheet, titled, "How To Make The Perfect Martini."

Should you ever get lost in the Outback, just open the surrival kit, freeze the water and announce that you are making 'The Perfect Martini'.

The woddies version of the kit contains a Tormek, sheet of glass, high speed grinder, a supply of sand paper, wet stones, oil stones, diamond strops and an instruction sheet titled, "How to sharpen your tools to a perfect edge."

I think that you know the rest of the scenario...

You may now be wondering, which method does the Yank use to sharpen his tools?

ENGLISH version shaken not stirred of course.;)
28th November 2006, 04:24 PM
rrich

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Saxton

ENGLISH version shaken not stirred of course.;)

Introducing ONE of the Fifteen. :D