No Retirement Home for Me
About two years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = U2 /><U2:PLACE>Western Mediterranean</ST1:p</U2:PLACE> aboard a Princess liner.
At dinner we noticed an elderly Lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dinning room.
I also noticed that the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady.
I asked our waiter who the Lady was by herself,expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been aboard for the last four cruises, back to back.
<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = U1 /><U1:P></U1:P>As we left the dinning room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say Hello.
We chatted and I said, "I understand you have been on this ship for the last four cruises."
She replied, "Yes, that's true."
I said, "I do not understand." to which she replied, without pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home."<O:p<U1:P></U1:P>So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess cruise ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day.
I have checked on reservations at Princess Line I can receive a long term discount and Senior discount price of $135 per day.
<O:p<U1:P></U1:P>That leaves $65 a day for:-<O:p
<U1:P></U1:P><U1:P></U1:P>1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
<O:p<U1:P></U1:P><U1:P></U1:P>2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service!
<O:p<U1:P></U1:P>(which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week.)
<O:p<U1:P></U1:P><U1:P></U1:P>3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and hair dryers, and shows every night.<O:p
<U1:P></U1:P>4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
<O:p<U1:P></U1:P>5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help <U1:P></U1:P>you.<O:p
<U1:P></U1:P><U1:P></U1:P>6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
<O:p<U1:P></U1:P><U1:P></U1:P>7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No problem! They will fix everything and <U1:P></U1:P>apologize fore your inconvenience.
<O:p<U1:P></U1:P><U1:P></U1:P>8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.<O:p
<U1:P></U1:P><U1:P></U1:P>9. If you fall in the nursing home and fracture a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they<U1:P></U1:P> will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.<O:p
<U1:P></U1:P><U1:P></U1:P>Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see <U2:PLACE>South America</U2:PLACE>, the <U2:PLACE>Panama Canal</U2:PLACE>, <U2:COUNTRY-REGION>Australia</U2:COUNTRY-REGION>, <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com[IMG] /><st1:City w:st=[/IMG]<U2:PLACE><U2:CITY>Tahiti</st1:City></U2:CITY>, <st1:country-region w:st=" /><st1:country-region w:st="on"><U2:COUNTRY-REGION><U2:PLACE>New Zealand</st1:country-region></U2:PLACE></U2:COUNTRY-REGION>, <ST1:p<U2:PLACE>Asia</ST1:p</U2:PLACE> or name where you wish to go?
<O:p<U1:P></U1:P><U1:P></U1:P>Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship,
<O:p<U1:P></U1:P><U1:P></U1:P>PS - And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge!<O:p></O:p>
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