Wisecracks

These Q&As came from the old “Hollywood Squares” game show
<O:p
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. If you hold their heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. No; wait until the next morning.

Q. Why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. You've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Tape measures.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. It got me out of the army.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. Get it in his mouth.

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Point and laugh.