Math points to ponder

ROMANCE MATHS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she desn't need

GENERAL EQUATIONS AND STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be with a man,you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting she won't change but she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,poking me in the ribs and cackling,telling me,"You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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Johnno