He said ---She said

She said..... "What do you mean by coming home half drunk?'
He said....."Its not my fault I ran out of money"

He said ....."Since I first laid eyes on you ,I've wanted to make love to you really badly"
She said....."Well you succeeded"

He said...."Two inches more and I would be king"
She said....."Two inches less and you would be queen."

On wall in ladies room:"My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it:"I do not"

Priest: "I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband"
She said....."Who's gonna look"

He said....."Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
She said....."That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."

He said..... "Let's go out and have some fun tonight"
She said....."Okay, but if you get home before I do,leave the hall light on"

He said....."Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm!"
She said ....."I would but you're never there"