Performance appraisal time
It's about time for all of us in large companies and government enterprises to have our performance appraised and to appraise those working for us.
Here are few comments worth considering for some of your star employees:
1) Since my last report this employee has reached rock bottom and has shown signs of starting to dig.
2) His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity
3) I would not allow this employee to breed
4) This employee is not so much of a has been, but more definitely a won't be.
5) Works well when under constant supervision.... and cornered like a rat in a trap.
6) When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet.
7) He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
8) He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to meet them.
9) This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
10) This employee is depriving some village somewhere of an idiot.
11) This employee should go far and the sooner he starts the better.
12) Got a full 6 pack but lacks the plastic thing that holds it together.
13) Gross ignoramus.....144 times worse than a normal ignoramus.
14) He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.
15) He doesn't have ulcers but is a carrier.
16) I would like to go hunting with him sometimes.
17) He's been working with glue too much.
18) He would argue with a signpost.
19) He has the knack for making strangers immediately.
20) He brings a lot of joy when he leaves the room.
21) When his IQ reaches 50 he should sell.
22) If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
23) A photographic memory but with the lense cover glued on.
24) A prime candidate for natural deselection.
25) Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
26) The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
27) He has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
28) If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
29) If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
30) If you stand too close to him you can hear the oceans.
31) It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm.
32) One neuron short of a synapse.
33) Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
34) The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Pete
